I am 20 weeks pregnant and...

[user1482403349]

Is this the right time to sell my house and buy a new one?

My husband and I have been planning to upgrade to a bigger house this year and in December, we've found out that I am pregnant.

I was unsure that we should move and thought we should wait until the baby arrives and we settle down a little bit before moving but my husband insisted that it will be fine.

We're now in march and the house has yet to go up on the market. My husband first set a deadline of end of February to get the house on the market.

I have raised my concerns with him and expressed that I do not want to be stressing about moving home when I'm near the due date.

So far, I've arranged for mortgage and got them all agreed and in place and arranged for all the valuations. We just need to decide on an agent and the house will be up(this part onwards is his responsibility as part of our prior agreement)

I felt like I have met my deadline in getting things done but he is delaying things. I have brought it up with him again today but ended up with him shouting at me which have left my in tears.

By the look of things, if we are able to sell and buy quickly, we'll be moving when I am in week 37/38. I will still need to get the nursery ready and I don't imagine I will be able to paint and fix furniture up when the time comes.

Aibu to tell him I don't want to move anymore? I really want to enjoy my first pregnancy but it seems like I will be constantly stressed about moving home.

What are your experiences when it comes to selling and buying new home? How quick is the process? When we purchased current house, I did all the organising and we moved in within 2.5 months from putting in an offer. I know selling AND buying would take longer and subject to several factors.

Please let me know your thoughts or tell me that I have nothing to worry about!

Can you afford to hire a removal service? Ie they come to your house and pack everything nicely for you while you go for a coffee? If so go for it. I did that when I moved and everything was perfectly packed and labelled for me.

It depends on what you want. Babies do not need to live in a perfectly decorated house with a beautiful nursery and everything in its place. The baby won't care if your new place is a fixer upper. However, you might. I know with my first I was desperate for everything to be perfect. We moved when I was 36 weeks and I spent a week painting every room in the house. A bit crazy really but I felt like I needed it to look nice. With number 2 I was a lot more relaxed. We only just finished her nursery last week and she's 7 weeks old.

Astoria we've discussed about hiring removal van but now my husband is talking about getting a couple of his friends to help out. However, based on past experience with him, it ended up with me doing most of unpacking while he goes out to have a pint or two

Be aware that if the new mortgage is dependent on your salary, the mortgage company will require written evidence from your workplace stating that you are going to return to work.

Whatsername I agree with the baby not caring about how the house look like but I very much do, and the husband as well. I know I will be expected to do most of the unpacking because I will be at home during my maternity leave while he goes to work, which is what worries my the most. I don't want to be doing all that and want to spend all my time with the baby, as much as possible anyway.

If you think he'll be making you do the unpacking while he goes to the pub at 38-39 weeks pregnant then he's an arsehole!

We moved when I was about 37 weeks pregnant, we used a removal firm at it was fine- but I did very little. I did basic unpacking but none of the heavy stuff. We managed to get the nursery painted in time (he did most of it while I was in hospital post c section) but practically the baby will probably be in your room for 6 months so you can do it during that time. All the baby needs is a crib/ Moses basket to sleep in to start with.

I feel that moving was easier pregnant than friends had it when they moved with small babies- that was with a supportive husband though.

Do not panic about getting the nursery done. The baby will be in your room for the first few months at least, so do not worry about that being a priority.

Also, bear in mind that your pregnancy might not go as planned - mine was straightforward until 36 weeks, when DD was found to be transverse (sideways, rather than head down) and I was hospitalised at 37 weeks. DD was delivered (healthy) by c-section at 39 weeks. You might go into labour the day before you're supposed to move. I don't think I'd want to risk that....

Might be easier to do it when pregnant than when the baby's brand new. Honestly, if you can get a good package with a removal firm who'll pack for you and everything, I'd go for it. I'm assuming you live in London or somewhere similar where property moves rapidly? Otherwise you haven't a hope of completing by the end of July.

We're moving on 10th June, we sold our London flat having put it on the market 4 weeks previously but we still haven't found somewhere we like enough to buy (this will be our forever house, and stamp duty is super expensive!) so we're going to rent for 6 months or so whilst we look around for our perfect house. Can you do that?

Stay put until you're ready. Don't rush it. Enjoy your baby and your time off doing stuff you want to do. Your husband does not sound very supportive tbh.

NerrSnerr & Donald wisely said on the nursery part. I'm feeling better now! And I will definitely insist on getting a removal company!

Sheepy oh dear..that must've been hard for you! Glad it all went well and thanks for the input, I've not even considered that!

I know I will be expected to do most of the unpacking because I will be at home during my maternity leave while he goes to work

Nip that in the bud immediately!! You'll be either heavily pregnant or looking after a newborn, no time for unpacking! Either he agrees to get a company who will pack and unpack for you or it doesn't go ahead.

Great time. We put our flat on the market when I was 35 weeks and moved when DC was 10 weeks. He was still in our bedroom, stayed where we put him and slept a lot - all helping to make the move relatively easy. We were able to use my FT salary to secure our mortgage. I'd go for it.

You won't use a nursery for 6 months ish. We decorated it beautifully but hardly ever go in there as DD sleeps next to our bed. So, up to you really.

Move pre baby, they have a huge amount of stuff, I've just moved with a toddler and it is awful!!

We moved 3 weeks before dd1 was born. Dh also started a new job at that time so couldn't take too much time off.
But lots of people sympathised, so I had lots of help.

We moved house when our 2nd DD was 10 days old, she came 4 weeks early and I ended up having an emergency c section. Not an experience I'd recommend, especially as DH thought being at work was his contribution.............

Don't do it- was due to move at same stage scuppered deal, sooo glad. DC 1 and now we are doing it. You can't know what you need till you've had them for a bit and still at 1 year there's no time to get stuff done!

You are assuming that your house will sell almost instantly and you will not be involved in a chain if you think you will be moving in 16 weeks time.

I don't know where you live but here in the London area the market is stone cold. I know several people who have spent months and months on the market with hardly any viewings even. That's before you get any time wasters or people who love your property but don't have a buyer.

In short, be realistic. Get the advice of several estate agents and have a look at sites like Zoopla to see what has sold locally recently. Go for it for sure but I think the baby could be the least of your issues. If you are lucky enough to be able to move before the birth just go for it and accept or pay for all the help you can get.

Omg don't do it. At 37 weeks pregnant you can't be unpacking a house on your own, just because you will be knackered! Sleep stops around that time too and moving with a newborn would be even worse. My LO is 16 days old and I don't even have time for a shite never mind a house upheaval! Nothing could prepare me for the harsh reality of what is a newborn baby. I envisioned myself sat at home enjoying not going to work, muslin over shoulder with a baby feeding her when required, cuddling her to sleep and watching a bit of Jeremy Kyle and loose women. Obviously I was in for a bit of a reality check

If DH insists then I would also insist on staying with a close relative (maybe your parents?) whilst the move happens then move into your new home once all the donkey work is done. Let him foot the stress of it all because you are busy growing a lovely perfect baby!

P.s this does not suggest that pregnant women shouldn't do bugger all or be all "precious" but imo moving home is truly a bitch of a process

Get the ball rolling, once the baby arrives you won't have the energy!

How do you feel about having a baby in your current property?
We moved when I was 39 weeks pregnant. Put it up for sale at 34 weeks and accepted an offer a couple days later from our first viewing. but I did all the packing as DH couldn't get time off before his paternity leave. I ended up going into labour the day after we moved as baby decided to come a week early. It was better to move before baby though as we didn't get on with our semi detached newly divorced party loving guy next door and I couldn't stand the thought of his parties going on while I was going to be sleep deprived enough.
House was a new build so didn't need any work, and they let us get the flooring installed the day before moving so we could move straight in thankfully.
I think moving with a newborn would be more stressful than to move while pregnant.

I am 30 weeks pregnant and we're planning to do the same thing, once the house is sold we'll hire a removal company who will pack everything for us. We're moving nearer family so we will have unpacking help. We will only unpack our bedroom, lounge & kitchen and everything else can wait.

Baby doesn't need a nursery, it can't tell the difference and will be with us for the first 6 months anyway.

I just made the decision not to worry about it, it's probably not ideal but it's what we're doing and it will be worth it

I moved to the other side of the world when our first child was 6 weeks. If possible I'd do it before. I wish I'd had a relaxing few first weeks with our newborn. Instead i was packing and unpacking. DH had to return to Oz at 3 weeks so had to do most of it without him. My parents were amazing.

This is nothing to do with moving house, but everything to do with you being married to a selfish thoughtless pig who isnt listening to you.

Say no.

Frankly it sounds like if you do nothing then neither will he so its probably not going to be a problem. He sounds like my ex. He was the "ideas man" and I was the fucking idiot who drove myself into the ground making it happen, whether I wanted to or not. So dont do anything. You did your bit, now dont do anything else and in the very unlikely scenario that he actually pulls his finger out to do his bit, you say "sorry, its too late. I agreed to move on the understanding that the house would be on the market end of Feb so we could be settled in by the time the baby comes. Its too late now, so we'll discuss it again when the baby is a year old"

BTW, you say a year so that you can negotiate down to 6 months old and then you insist on professional movers/packers/unpackers as part of that, and then you go away for the weekend "for the baby" when the move is happening.