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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross about this....

19 replies

kimi · 03/03/2007 19:49

Its a friend of DPs birthday and we were ment to ALL be going out tonight, DP rings his friend this aftenoon to sort out a time and his friend said he was doing something with his other half tonight so could DP go to the pub this afternoon instead, (I could not go as DH1 had football so I had our children till he could pick them up). I was not best pleased as it has been ages since DP and I have been out in the evening.
So off he goes "just for a few hours",at 2.00pm DH1 gets back and picks up our kids and kindly takes me to tesco to get the weekly shop.
I phone DP to see what time to start dinner and he is p*ssed, and going back to his mates house. Now I am fuming. I told him to get his arse home NOW.
Am I being a bitch????

OP posts:
steinermum · 03/03/2007 20:25

You're right to be mad, but don't get into a fight tonight. Wait till he's stone cold sober then tell him how upset you are and calmly ask how he's going to make it up to you

hana · 03/03/2007 20:27

oh i'd be angry too - not about going out in the afternoon, that would be forgivable, but he's still not back and he went out at 2? where's the friends' wife??

Original poster
kimi · 03/03/2007 20:43

I have phoned him 3 times and each time he has said he is on his way when he is not. Dinner sat there waiting to be cooked.
If he wants dinner he can bloody well cook it himself, I am going to DH1s for the night, and right now I don't feel like coming back.

OP posts:
Original poster
kimi · 03/03/2007 20:46

The friends girlfriend is not happy either, Every time DP goes out with this friend he spends tons of money (its his money so he can) but he get p*ssed and I hate it.
He will come in had go to bed and sulk like a bloody child, sometimes i think what the hell am i doing in this relationship, i have 2 kids i don't need a 27 year old child as well!

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 03/03/2007 20:52

He shouldn't come home off his face if there are kids in the house

Original poster
kimi · 03/03/2007 20:55

Kids are with their dad (who in the 21 years we were together NEVER got drunk)
I am going to go and get him now, THEN I am going home to DH1s.

I don't mind him going out but if I did this he would have a fit.

OP posts:
Original poster
kimi · 03/03/2007 23:13

Just realised I have made the biggest mistake of my life being with this person.

OP posts:
sazzybee · 03/03/2007 23:22

paulaplumpbottom: "He shouldn't come home off his face if there are kids in the house"

I'm not saying he's not behaving appallingly but why not? Sorry - I don't get it.

lisad123 · 03/03/2007 23:26

I would say that he is being very unfair. He should have agreed to go to pub with friend for one, come home and spent the evening with you.
I would lock him out, soon sober up then.

Is he home yet?

Lisa

paulaplumpbottom · 03/03/2007 23:31

Its probably only my personal opinion but I don't think its good to have people who are very drunk in a house where there are children.

lisad123 · 03/03/2007 23:33

Me and hubby never get drunk when we have DD here (we never get drunk together either, one is always sober).
I remember seeing my mum once, drunk on holiday, scared the hell out of me.

I have to agree with you there.

lisa

sazzybee · 03/03/2007 23:47

I don't see what the problem is personally but that's just my opinion

themanfromiPannema · 03/03/2007 23:53

The problem is an unpleasant cocktail of disrespect, excessive alcohol, lack of assertion, and, not least, little ones not sure of what's going on (as I read it, atleast).

Kids and alcohol never mix (no not as a tonic!) but the underlying thing looks like a dp who is expressing a frustrated need of some sort. IYSWIM. IMVHO.

sazzybee · 03/03/2007 23:56

If you are addressing me manfromipanema, I meant that I don't think there is a problem of there being an adult in the house where there is a sober one where there are children present.
I've already said I think the DP in question is behaving appallingly.

themanfromiPannema · 03/03/2007 23:58

no sazzy, no direct ref. at all!!

sazzybee · 04/03/2007 00:05

oops

themanfromiPannema · 04/03/2007 00:07

'sor right. It did look that tbh.

Original poster
kimi · 04/03/2007 14:18

My kid did not and never have seen him drunk.
It is not an everyday thing. But every time he goes out with this friend he gets drunk. Fine when he was single but not when he wants to be a family.
Kids stay with their dad on Saturday nights anyway its the one night a week DP and I get some time to just us.
I was upset that he went in the afternoon and said he would be back for dinner then despite my phoning him and saying dinner will be ready at xxx he did not come home.
He got in about 9.30 and I spent 3 hours yelling at him.
Now I am having a serious rethink about this relationship.

OP posts:
Original poster
kimi · 04/03/2007 14:21
  • kids
OP posts:
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