To miss DDAD anniversary and DN birthday

[MommaGee]

So I'm looking to return to volunteer work shortly but it means weekends away for training and do to work. Do is on board with us trying it on agreement of total honesty if its not working.
Problem is one training weekend falls on possible date for Nephews birthday party (would still see him actual day, he'll be 1) and one weekend of volunteering falls on DDad and DSM 5th wedding anniversary. I'd be away day before until a few days later.

I've text both to tell them buy dreading the red, response from other family about missing these dates and also generally being awful for leaving DS who will be 2. I don't work as DS has additional needs and can only do this as DHL will book AL to support me.

Am I being unforgivably selfish?

DDad not Dead

Why on earth would you be expected to be around for your dad's 5th wedding anniversary? I don't see why that should be an issue at all. You will see DN on his birthday, again I don't see the problem?
It's not like you are missing a wedding!!!

No you are not being selfish.
Nephew won't have a clue what's going on, and you are seeing him on his actual birthday which should satisfy his parents.
Your Dad's 5th wedding anniversary doesn't sound worth rearranging stuff for, not like it's a 25th or 50th.

I've never celebrate anyone else's wedding anniversary bar my grandparent's 50th... is that what people do?! It's our 5th wedding anniversary this year and I certainly won't be expecting anyone other than us to celebrate it.
It'll be fine. Sounds like a good opportunity!

You are not being selfish at all. I cannot even imagine the anniversary being celebrated in a big family way and the first birthday itself you can attend so I am sure they'll understand.

I think it would be fine missing both those events. Your DN wouldn't remember anything about his first birthday party and you're seeing him on his actual birthday anyway. It's your Ddad and Dsm's 5th anniversary so not a special one.
DH and I prefer to celebrate our anniversaries with each other and not have a big do unless it was a big one

It's fine. It's not the norm.to have to visit people.on their wedding anniversaries
One year olds don't care.

I suppose every family is different but this would be a total non-problem in mine. We would just get together on a different day, or exchange congratulations on the phone. Your family sound a bit intense but each to their own way!

I think it might be me actually. DD was like whatever you need a life too! DSis also just replied understandingly.

Maybe I'm projecting my own guilt for - - abandoning-- leaving DS for so many weekends. I think I wanted someone to yell at me and tell me iabu instead of the voices in my head haha

Yanbu. Nephew won't care. Your dad and step mother shouldn't care. DS will be fine. Good luck with the training.

Just go on your training sounds like it will do you the world of good to much guilt going on when there is no need.

Thanks