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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being ungrateful?

43 replies

Bahh · 19/02/2017 23:05

Long story short, OH told his parents he didn't want 'things' for Christmas, he wanted things to do together as a family. Cool, no problems with that.

His mum got us a night in a hotel. Which seems nice at first. But it's a themed hotel in a well known kids attraction. Okay. So we take SD. Which begs the question is it actually a present for us or is it a present for SD? But anyway. Turns out the attraction isn't open because it's winter. This is a little annoying. It can still be salvaged though - there is evening entertainment! No wait. There is no entertainment because the attraction isn't open.

So to sum up, MIL has given 'us' a night away in a hotel room we have to share with SD (so no hanky panky or drinking or any noise generally after 8pm - her bedtime). In an attraction that isn't open, so she's going to be upset she can't go in. And the only entertainment is a small park outside and a pool inside. And I have to drive an hour there and back for the pleasure.

AIBU to really not want to go?

OP posts:
Lushka · 19/02/2017 23:07

Can you change the date of the booking to when it is open? Sorry it does sound a bit crap otherwise.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 19/02/2017 23:08

I don't think it's an unusual gift, it's something his dd could do too which is a good present for a lot of parents.

Maybe he could go with dd and do something else locally if you don't want to go? How old is she? A pool and park maybe be enough to keep her entertained and some games in the hotel room or take a chocolate fountain/popcorn maker and some DVDs

Can't it be used later in the year? Does the gift voucher or whatever have an expiry date? I just find it strange the hotel is open if they attraction is closed

FetchezLaVache · 19/02/2017 23:08

Has she booked it for a specific night, or can you redeem it when you want? Is it still valid when the attraction opens again for the season? Will you have to pay massive amounts of money for the three of you to enter said attraction?

...I have to say, it sounds like a shit, ill thought-out gift and YANBU.

oneohfivethreeeight · 19/02/2017 23:10

I can only assume that she thought the place was fully open, otherwise its favourite for the 2017 Crap Present of the Year Award.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 19/02/2017 23:10

If the attraction isn't open, why are you taking So?

oneohfivethreeeight · 19/02/2017 23:11

it's (before the grammar police get me).

Pinkheart5915 · 19/02/2017 23:12

I think as a gift something the child can go on as well is nice.

I do think it's strange that the hotel is open when the attraction isn't though, why just why would it be if it's a hotel within the actual attraction doesn't make any sense. Is there any way it could be used later in the year? Could you try calling them and explaining it was a gift and asking if they'd honour it later in the year?

Depending on dd age the pool and park migh be enough with a few DVDs/board games with dad in the evening

Ameliablue · 19/02/2017 23:14

Yes you are being ungrateful. It sounds as if you don't need to take your sd if the child themed stuff isn't on yet.

Original poster
Bahh · 19/02/2017 23:15

She's booked in for a specific night, so no changing dates. Its in a week actually. It's only just dawned on me that this is actually a bit of an inconvenience and I didn't know if I was being unreasonable because of course it's nice she got us anything at all and it cost over £100 etc. But still. Wtf. I feel like she's wasted her own money and we'll be wasting a weekend!

If the attraction was open I could concede that would be a fun day out for us all. And yes I agree it's odd the hotel is still open. Maybe people like the themed thing and just go off into the local area. SD is 6.5 so perhaps the park and pool will be enough. I'll just have to take a book or something.

I'm also really uncomfortable sleeping in the same room as her. I snore like a demon and am very self conscious, the last time we did it she woke up crying because of 'the thunder' Blush

I'm just being a bit of a whinger aren't I? Will stick on a smile and make sure to pack the iPad!

OP posts:
DameSquashalot · 19/02/2017 23:16

He asked for something you could do as a family and that's what you were given. Maybe she didn't realise the attraction wouldn't be open. ..

mygorgeousmilo · 19/02/2017 23:16

I'm guessing it's lego land. The bits where the kids sleep are kind of a part of the same room but around the corner, so you could have the lamps on, have a few glasses of wine etc. Go into Windsor for the day to entertain yourselves. The pool is fun for kid. Or. Call the hotel and ask to move the date, but it'll be really expensive once the park is actually open

Thecontentedcat · 19/02/2017 23:16

Your oh wanted things to do together as a -family, of course that will include dsd. The fact the attraction is not open is annoying but it is nice that ohs mum sees you as part of that family. You sound rather ungrateful.

Original poster
Bahh · 19/02/2017 23:17

Amelia she has paid for the child's space and the family room, plus gave it to us in front of SD, plus SD is here every weekend anyway so wouldn't it be weirder if we didn't take her?

OP posts:
Thecontentedcat · 19/02/2017 23:18

Just seen your last post, maybe you will enjoy it more thanM you think and dsd will learn to cope with thunder!

DJBaggySmalls · 19/02/2017 23:18

I think its mean to send a child to a theme park when its closed. And a night in an adult hotel is not fun for a child.

Ameliablue · 19/02/2017 23:22

well, that isn't what you said in the original post but he did ask for something for the family which this is, so whilst it may not have worked out as well as intended it does sound as though it was bought in good faith.

mygorgeousmilo · 19/02/2017 23:22

As I said, if it's lego land then the hotel is themed and very kid-orientated. Legoland itself not being open is annoying, yes. Kids area of bedroom is round the corner with themed bunks and a tv

pocketsaviour · 19/02/2017 23:22

Does DSD know that it's in a week's time? If not, I'd call the hotel and ask if you can pay the upgrade to move it to a weekend when the park is open.

If she does know the date, then your DP takes his DD on his own. And you consider whether his mum is maybe not 100% enthusiastic about his split with his DD's mum.

Lazyafternoon · 19/02/2017 23:27

Perhaps MIL didn't realise the attraction was closed? Or are there other things to do close by?

I live close to a big attraction that has its own theme hotel. The hotel is open all year, but the attraction isn't. The hotel is still open as it's used a lot of meetings etc. It's also a convenient location for the motorway and lots of other things to do in the area.

I think YABU for being ungrateful. But I YANBU for not being massively excited by the prospect of sharing hotel room with your 6 year old and it will be more about her than you. But make the best of it. Plan a nice day out for the day time. Try, as much as possible not to mention the attraction to DD gloss over that bit. Get excited about what you ARE going to do. What other attractions in the area are open? Have a nice day, a nice meal. Then bottle of wine and film on the Ipad in the hotel room while DD sleeps?

Original poster
Bahh · 19/02/2017 23:33

To be honest I think this all comes down to OHs bad communication, when he said as a family he meant everyone, his parents and siblings as well as us! Like a meal or theme park day or something.

Milo thank you, it is LL yes. Helpful to know there will be a barrier between SD and the thunder Blush Incidentally what is good to do in Windsor? Confused

Amelia fair enough I didn't make that part clear, that's what leads me to believe it's not really a present for us as was geared towards SD. Which I don't have an issue with, just seems odd to not address to her in that case!

Baggy yes I forsee some world class tantrums over it!

I don't think there's any malice in it. I dont remember asking at the time she gave it whether or not she knew the attraction was closed. I think she's fairly indifferent towards me (possibly a little bit of her thinks I'm not good enough for OH) but by all accounts didn't like XW either so who knows.

OP posts:
Rockingaround · 19/02/2017 23:36

It's surely just a misunderstanding, no? Why can't you just ask your MIL to rearrange it for the Easter holls when it is open, SD is off school, you may have annual leave etc? Surely MIL's motivation for buying such a location-specific gift was so that you can enjoy the attraction ? Hmm no? i must be missing something

arethereanyleftatall · 19/02/2017 23:37

If it's legoland then your sd will love the hotel. All my dds remember of euro Disney is the hotel and the pool.
And yes, I think it is ungrateful of you. Now I have dcs, I don't expect presents from my dps, I'd rather then spent the money on the dc.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/02/2017 23:39

I would imagine it can't be rearranged without a crazy price hike. I think ll hotel is something like £400 per night when the park is open. Or something bonkers.

Original poster
Bahh · 19/02/2017 23:43

*arethereanyleftatall please don't misunderstand, I'm not fussed about presents. I got nothing from anyone in my own family and didn't bat an eyelid. And in fact MIL had already got us a really thoughtful gift and SD a big bag full of generous gifts. She just could have saved herself a chunk of money.

OP posts:
Purplepotatoe · 19/02/2017 23:44

I snore like a demon and am very self conscious, the last time we did it she woke up crying because of 'the thunder' that's given me a laugh, thanks

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