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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask you am I missing out by not being on Facebook ?

30 replies

SoMuchPain · 19/02/2017 19:44

I went on a social media detox late last year...this means deactivating all my accounts. As it stands I only miss instagram...I logged back into Facebook and it was nice to see some friendly faces but there was a lot of bullshit too and it's not like many of those people have contacted me in real life so what's the point of seeing their lives? I feel I've outgrown Facebook. Instagram though I do miss... I miss a few of the funky pics some of my friends would take and the fun element of it...Facebook is all serious aibu? Am I missing out? I feel like I'm so over it.....but this week I've had a few oh you're not on Facebook anymore messages from people (it's only taken them 4 months to notice) so I'm like well what's the point?

OP posts:

pinkish · 19/02/2017 19:48

I've deleted my FB app and only access it from my computer now - rarely look at it. Haven't missed it and am surprised at how little there is to interest me when I do look.

MrsExpo · 19/02/2017 19:49

Probably not, but I think you need to be very selective about who your friends are and have a regular clear out. I'm non instagram so can't comment. I use FB to keep in touch with family overseas and a couple of clubs I'm member of use it to publicise events so it's useful for that. But it can be a mixed blessing I agree, so use with caution.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 19/02/2017 19:52

Depends what you use it for. I love it for keeping in touch with relatives and friends who have moved abroad.

I also use it loads to sell stuff, mostly bits my kids have grown out of, on a local FB buying and selling site. It's great for getting rid of things for a few quid.

However I know people who are utterly addicted to it and are constantly on it, it's a very negative factor in their life as they are constantly comparing themselves to the Facebook lives people portray.

Faez · 19/02/2017 19:52

I deactivated mine about 6 weeks ago having been on there since 08 and I don't miss it at all. The constant stream of bullshit was only getting worse so no, you're not imo

CombineBananaFister · 19/02/2017 19:58

it seems on its way out unless you have logistically spaced out family and friends. Perfect for me - DSis in America and familly/friends everywhere. If there is a lot of 'bullshit' on your newsfeed then you probably need to trim your friend list, not a FB problem, more a be more selective problem

comedycentral · 19/02/2017 19:58

Hmm surely facebook is different for all of us, it depends on who you follow and who your mates are really.

ThePinkOcelot · 19/02/2017 19:59

Missing sweet fuck all!!

Babyroobs · 19/02/2017 20:04

There is so much crap comes up I have considered coming off it. This weekend I've had horrible animal abuse pictures pop up, accounts of toddlers being sick in cafes/ numerous people attention seeking over various things that other people just deal with quietly every day etc etc. But in the midst of it all you get a couple of posts which really make me laugh and brighten my day.

foxyloxy78 · 19/02/2017 20:04

I have never been on it. Pointless imho.

BackforGood · 19/02/2017 20:07

Well, depends what you use it for.
I belong to a number of things that use Facebook to pass information round quickly / share news / ask and answer questions, which i would miss hugely.
I also stay in touch with friends and family that i don't live close to.
I also like the local information/local news group - very useful in terms of traffic issues in particular.

The80sweregreat · 19/02/2017 20:08

The pics of my dhs take away ( fish n chips) with his elderly dad had so many likes! Sad really, but made me laugh.

I dont go on it that much myself. Just to keep in touch with family mostly.

dimdommilpot · 19/02/2017 20:10

I deactivated my account in October. Logged back in this week only to be reminded of why i deactivated. Like you OP i feel i have outgrown it.
The my life is better than your life bullshit was starting to wear thin. I dont feel left out of anything and still keep in touch with the people i socialised with previously.

Original poster

SoMuchPain · 19/02/2017 20:13

I did use it when I got some building work done on one front it was very useful for looking for local traders with recommendations. Yes probably need to do some serious trimming. It's hard though - I would love to trim out the school mums! Arghhh see if I've logged on once today and it's causing me anxiety I'm better off - off it. Unhealthy

OP posts:

champagneplanet · 19/02/2017 20:16

I feel as if there has been a bit of a shift away from Facebook recently, all mine seems to be is people sharing articles/videos and the regular posters who tell everything about their day/lives in minute detail.

I haven't deleted but only scroll through my news feed now once every few days, and even then unless a close friend has posted I get fed up after a minute.

A lot of the people on mine I wouldn't stop and speak to them in the street so it really is all a bit pointless, just helps people to be nosey without making an effort.

Hassled · 19/02/2017 20:21

I think it depends who/what you follow on FB. I'm on it less and less to see what my friends are up to (although that is nice) and more to see links to interesting articles, and posts from groups that have specialist interests of mine - for example a local history group, types of music I like, the local Labour Party etc. And I follow quite a wide range of things - the New York Times and Al Jazeera often have interesting features. People use FB in lots of different ways - you can weed out the "Here's a photo of the pie I just ate" bollocks quite easily. I'd certainly miss FB.

Faez · 19/02/2017 20:21

Also you can now keep messenger if you deactivate your account so don't feel completely disconnected.

Aderyn2016 · 19/02/2017 20:26

Dh and I deleted fb a couple of years back and are much better for it. We use viber for family chats and to see pics of baby nephew etc who live abroad.
Fb made me feel dissatisfied with my life, as if everybody but me was constantly going on holiday/doing glamourous stuff. I knew logically that it was all bullshit but even so.
I also found myself getting irtitated with the smug wankery of my friends posts. These are people I like irl and I wanted to carry on liking them, so fb had to go!

BonnyScotland · 19/02/2017 20:33

I don't use FB Twitter ... I too found them to be draining .. I deleted everything years ago and have never missed any of it.. I have friends and family on groups chats in whatsapp and viber .. it's great

HarryTheHippo · 19/02/2017 20:36

I'm tempted now and then but I've moved a lot so it's nice to see what old friends are getting up to.

More importantly it's how the pta communicate/friends meet up etc.

Also I've "liked" various parks and local attractions and get to see what events are in in the holidays

IonaNE · 19/02/2017 20:44

I have never been on it. Pointless imho
Well, you would know, never having been on it...

OP, as pps have said: it depends on how you use it and what for. I consider very carefully who can become my friend and don't follow all my friends. My Fb friends tend to share events and articles/reading, as opposed to their private life. So yes, I would miss out on a lot of philosophy and theology if I did not have a Fb account. I also find it useful for "checking in": when I'm going abroad, I check in at the airport with my destination - this way I don't get emails/texts from 5 countries from people asking where I am.

londonrach · 19/02/2017 20:49

In my case......Family and friends who live abroad who post pictures. My supportive local mums who we privately message in a group behind the main page. One of my friends husband is vvvvvv ill at the moment and she regularly posting and everyone is writing lovely supportive things which shes replied to as she s in hospital at the moment with him hoping he improve. Fb is what you make it. My dsis hated it so removed herself. I understand her reasoning. My dh only has about 14 friends on fb (not in rl) of which 5 are my family (1 is me)..but the reason he is on is a very good friend of his in usa who he messages very regularly via fb. If his friend wasnt on fb i suspect he remove himself. Its a tool to use. Some use it alot for different reasons, some not much, some arent interested. I never got twitter or anything else apart from whatsapp but lve my fb for the ease of keeping in touch.

Graphista · 19/02/2017 20:52

Another saying depends how you use.

I'm another with friends and family all over the world and its lovely to keep up with them, see pics and videos of their children and pets and them.

One friend had a baby couple years ago, she now lives too far away for me to visit and I still got to see a video of her son starting to talk - lovely.

katiegg · 19/02/2017 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

museumum · 19/02/2017 20:57

I've got a couple of groups I use loads. And I follow parkrun and some other runs & events. I think it's a lot better if you use it for hobbies rather than just gossip.

bagpackbagpack · 19/02/2017 21:00

Unless you want to be sold some mascara that will make you blind or aloe Vera for your dog then nope.

I am only on there for long distant family reasons and to follow timeless vie

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