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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give brightly-coloured lilies

27 replies

Camillathefirst · 19/02/2017 07:04

It took me ages to choose because the selection wasn't great. Shabby flowers, tiny flowers. Even the most expensive were utterly underwhelming. The lilies were modest but in good condition. None of the flowers were open so that put me off a bit, but I chose them in the end. The flowers are for someone who's recovering from illness and it's just occurred to me that some people associate lilies with death. Should I ditch the flowers to avoid causing offence?

OP posts:
Garnethair · 19/02/2017 07:23

Give them. Lilies are gorgeous.

user1477282676 · 19/02/2017 07:27

I wouldn't give lillies. Especially if it's an older person more likely to make the association or if it's someone who is superstitious.

I young person possibly would not know the link. I do ...I"m 44 though.

LevantineHummus · 19/02/2017 07:29

I know the link and wouldn't give them to my grandparents, but would be delighted to receive them myself!

LevantineHummus · 19/02/2017 07:29

I'm not that far from 40

picklemepopcorn · 19/02/2017 07:30

I'm 47 and I know the link but don't think of the link, IYSWIM. So I'd give them.

Angelto5 · 19/02/2017 07:33

I'm 35 & I know there's an association to death/funerals with Lilly's but they're still my favourite flowers.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/02/2017 07:33

I don't worry about the death link, but avoid them for people with pets/asthma because of the strong pollen.

WhoKn0wsWhereTheTimeG0es · 19/02/2017 07:35

Don't give them if they've got cats, the pollen is lethal for them.

Original poster
Camillathefirst · 19/02/2017 07:35

They're in their mid-sixties and considering the nature of the illness I think I better not risk it. Thank you for the replies.

OP posts:
Katy07 · 19/02/2017 10:01

Lilies are poisonous to cats so I'd never give them

mygorgeousmilo · 19/02/2017 10:09

Don't give lillies, the smell is sooo strong. I can't stand getting them when I've been in hospital, that sounds so ungrateful and mean and I'd never say anything rude to someone giving them to me, but I've quite often had to cut the middle bit out and stick them in the bathroom with the window open! I always feel like a nice plant is a better gift, even some bulbs in a pretty pot are nice at this time of year. I'd rather that than crazy coloured lilies

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 19/02/2017 10:12

i love lilies, but always feel really sorry for the lurid dyed ones.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero · 19/02/2017 10:13

I'm 25 and hate lilies because of the funeral association Blush saying that my mom and dad (59/60) adore them, mom regularly has them in the house.

thecatneuterer · 19/02/2017 10:14

Yes, if they have cats don't give them. And I agree that bulbs in a pretty pot would be nicer.

TheFuckitBuckit · 19/02/2017 10:41

It is my understanding that it's specifically white lilies that are associated with death/funerals. Remember my parents being given them when my brother died
If they're are brightly coloured and she doesn't have cats, then I would probably give them.
I love lilies but won't have them because I have cats.

TheWinterOfOurDiscountTents · 19/02/2017 10:43

I love the look of them, but the smell makes me thing of funerals, and the perfume is so strong.

I'd still appreciate the gesture if anyone gave them to me (not that anyone gives me flowers!)

Vanillaradio · 19/02/2017 10:48

I love lilies but the smell is overwhelming and the pollen gets everywhere and stains Dh gave me some pretty ones for valenines day, I have done surgery on the middle but they are still making me sneeze. To me the funeral association is white ones only.

Dahlietta · 19/02/2017 10:57

I agree with TheFuckitBuckit, I would only associate white lillies with death (I'm mid 30s),

AutumnStorm · 19/02/2017 10:57

Lilies remind me of death, my uncle was a florist and when my grandad died he was taken home and laid out in his own room & my uncle filled his room with lots of lilies and some other flowers.
It was a hot June as well so i know why they used so many flowers but as soon as i smell them i just think of death.

DrivingMeBonkers · 19/02/2017 11:05

Lilies symbolise purity of love, innocence and rebirth (hence the 'death' connection). Although in Greek mythology they signified eroticism.

SeamstressfromTreacleMineRoad · 19/02/2017 11:37

I've developed a strong allergic reaction to pollen - and especially to lilies - over the past 10 years. It's vile, brings on awful asthma attacks and makes me cough for weeks and WEEKS. I dread anyone buying me flowers because I never know whether I'm going to react to them... Sad. I wouldn't buy lillies for anyone because of this.

WhispersOnTheWind · 19/02/2017 12:06

It's only the white ones that are associated with death but I still wouldn't give coloured ones (and hate receiving them) because of the nauseating, overpowering scent and because the pollen is toxic and messy.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 19/02/2017 12:08

They mean death to me don't care what colour they are and I can't have them in the house

Original poster
Camillathefirst · 19/02/2017 12:53

I quite like the smell of lilies, but these ones are orange so are probably asiatic lilies which have no scent. I would have preferred a potted plant too but the plants they had which I liked weren't in a great condition. The others were either a bit ordinary (begonias) or the flowers were small and underwhelming. We'll hopefully get something elsewhere.

OP posts:
happyhearts7 · 19/02/2017 18:14

I love the sweet perfumed smell of lilies and often have a bunch of white lilies on our kitchen table..

Even though my Dad's coffin had a massive bunch of lilies on it I would never associate lilies with death!

The only thing I don't like about them is the fact their brown things in the middle (not sure what they're called) stain when they fall off so I remove them as soon as the flower opens out.

Crickey Blush I hope I haven't been doing it wrong all these 40 years Confused