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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to refuse to do "cool and exciting " activities for the kids every day of the half term days??

64 replies

btfly2 · 11/02/2017 10:49

Instead of allowing lazy and relaxing hours at home? Sooo fed up of the feeling of pressure about "performance and you have to have a hectic schedule to exist these days! Is only me and aibu or others feel the same? Particularly when you can't hide anytime the children compare themselves with their friends and want to do the same "cool stuff ". Oh well, sorry but I'm feeling on a survival parenting mode today...and yesterday...and probably tomorrow. Thanks for reading.

OP posts:

pointythings · 11/02/2017 11:45

Mine have told me explicitly not to plan too much stuff... They are 14 and 16, DD1 has mocks straight after half term so needs to revise, DD2 wants to hang out with friends. The only planned thing we are doing is going to London for the day to source DD1's prom dress. It has to be gothic so London is has to be.

Notso · 11/02/2017 11:53

I never feel pressure to do anything in the holidays. Other people can crack on.

bumsexatthebingo · 11/02/2017 11:55

We've got one day trip planned and are visiting a family friend one other day. The rest of the time they'll be playing at home or in the park. Kids do need unstructured time to play - especially outdoors. Not sure if I think yabu or not though. If they're going to be playing and getting plenty of fresh air then yanbu. If they're going to spend a week in front of screens then yabu imo.

Manijo · 11/02/2017 12:27

My DC like to schedule whole TV days...like how many Harry Potter films in one day, or High school musical etc. junk food, popcorn etc. they've worked hard and need a break too

RortyCrankle · 11/02/2017 14:06

Children should be left to make their own amusement, use their imagination, be creative in play. 24/7 provision by parents is crazy. Yes to the occasional visit to a zoo or similar but otherwise let them get on with it. Or if they complain of boredom there is always the dreaded threat of being given housework to do

Magzmarsh · 11/02/2017 14:14

I was terrible for over planning when dc were younger, they eventually told me to pack it in and let them chill 😬

Original poster

btfly2 · 11/02/2017 19:18

Happy to know I'm not the only one who thinks that: no plans is the best plan sometimes:) thank you all for your replies :)

OP posts:

LovelyBath77 · 11/02/2017 19:21

YANBU. We're going to a cottage in Wales in he middle of nowhere and with no TV or wifi just to get away from it all. Planning on doing nothing much but taking wellies and warm clothes for walks. Looking forward to an escape.

DeleteOrDecay · 11/02/2017 19:26

YANBU at all. There has to be a balance. I've not got anything specific planned for half term yet but I'd imagine we may do one or two 'special' activities like a farm trip or maybe the dreaded soft play! I'm the sort of person who needs time to recover after a busy day or two (hard with 2 young dc however) so being out and about and doing stuff constantly sounds like hell to me. I also agree that kids need time to relax and entertain themselves too and that too many activities can sometimes be a bad thing.

TataEs · 11/02/2017 19:30

one of our exciting days out is going for a hair cut whilst the car is mot'd

AYankinSpanx · 11/02/2017 19:41

It's a point of pride with one acquaintance that her children have such packed schedules that her kids routinely fall asleep face down in the their dinner (literally, I've seen it happen) and they have to ask for a couple of hours to just play with their toys.

She is incredibly sociable and gregarious and loves it, but the kids are permanently exhausted.

Willow2016 · 11/02/2017 19:58

Omg poor kids I would be saying something or dropping major hints about free play and imagination 🤔

CurlsandCurves · 11/02/2017 20:17

When mine were younger they'd drive me crazy with what are we doing where are we going like I was supposed to provide some kind of rolling programme of events.

Now, they appreciate a day of nothingness!

DS1 is old enough to go off and see his mates or have them come here. DS2has a soccer school day for one day. And we have an afternoon at the local roller rink with some other mums which is tradition every school holiday.

RortyCrankle · 11/02/2017 20:44

TataEs
one of our exciting days out is going for a hair cut whilst the car is mot'd grin

You shouldn't be spoiling them like that - they will get over-excited [grin ]

AYankinSpanx · 11/02/2017 20:46

one of our exciting days out is going for a hair cut whilst the car is mot'd grin

That made me laugh too. I'd never do two activities in one day though .

Stop spoiling them, is my advice.

frenchfancy · 11/02/2017 20:48

DD3 broke her arm 2 days ago. We have 2 WEEKS of half term. I have a feeling there will be more than one PJ day

gillybeanz · 11/02/2017 21:00

It's leisure time it should be completely free and people should play, whatever their age, when they have free time, such as a holiday.
Recreation is very important to our well being and restores energy and mind ready to start work again.

Original poster

btfly2 · 12/02/2017 00:56

AYankinSpanx exactly!! That happens to me as well with a "friend" and her kids. All the comments about the packed diary she has and made in a very arrogant way...I hate it. Many times I've been left feeling "guilty" for not having plans for the holidays. Why some people need to show off about it when the result is exhausted children! I wouldn't be proud of that. Curlsandcurves: "some kind of rolling programme of events" love it! I couldn't say that better. You are my friends ;)

OP posts:

NotEnoughTime · 12/02/2017 09:49

No, I don't think you are being unreasonable.

Personally I like to have a mixture of "down" days ie mooching around the house, playing board games, watching tv etc and a few days "out and about".

For MY family a mix works well.

Half term is only one week though and the weather is crap so I guess it doesn't matter too much either way. I like to get out a lot more in the school summer holidays though as it is nearly seven weeks long so we would all go stir crazy sat around the house all day.

Hope you have a good week whatever you do

EnormousTiger · 12/02/2017 10:08

I have worked full time every half term of my children's lives from age 5 - 18 actually so they will not next week (they are 18 nowin upper 6th) be getting any entertaining from me and they have all turned out fine. I have never had a half term off work ever.

Ohdearducks · 12/02/2017 10:10

YANBU they need have 'bored' time so they can learn to use their imaginations instead of having entertainment handed to them on a plate all the time, they need to learn to actually think

ohtheholidays · 12/02/2017 10:12

YANBU,I do like taking our children out when I feel upto it,I'm ill and disabled.But this horrible weather is putting me off going any where!

Our 2DD's(13 and 9)need to get out of the house at least every other day or they can't cope(9 year old is asd and 13 year old is waiting for assessment)we have 5DC.

I'm thinking cinema,bowling,museum,swimming for when the weather is really bad if we have any nice weather then we'll take a trip to the seaside one day and go for a trip to the country side another day.

Dinnerout1 · 12/02/2017 10:13

It's all media associated these days. 6 weeks hols back in the day a nice holiday for 1-2 weeks, the rest was seeing friends or day trips out that didn't cost anything. They want to do really cool things that cost an arm and leg then they can do chores to pay for them! Now that's sounds really cool!

witsender · 12/02/2017 10:20

I don't know anyone who does all this 'cool stuff's every day...You clearly have the wrong friends!

dangermouseisace · 12/02/2017 10:39

YANBU. My kids don't like organised fun every day- they like downtime when off school too- milling about in their pants, or making up stuff, or finding their own things to do.

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