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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take 4 month old on United for Europe march

30 replies

LittleLionMansMummy · 09/02/2017 00:04

Purely for practical reasons as I'm breastfeeding. I really, really want to go but in view of the division and anger tonight's vote in Parliament (and Brexit generally) has stirred up I wonder if it can actually stay peaceful. I don't want to be irresponsible about her safety and am genuinely interested to hear views. I don't live in London, it would be approx 4 hour return journey so it's not possible to leave her all day.

OP posts:
NarkyMcDinkyChops · 09/02/2017 00:06

I've brought a 4 week old on a march before, and assorted ages in buggies etc. I don't see a problem.

FlyMeToTheMoonLiterally · 09/02/2017 00:09

Absolutely amazing that you want to do this considering you have a 4 month old and its a 4 hour return journey for you. I really respect your dedication. I can only give my opinion and that is I would go but stay out of the main crowd just in case, you'll still be part of it. Good luck with whatever you decide and congratulations on new bubba

Original poster
LittleLionMansMummy · 09/02/2017 00:09

I'd have her in a sling, my main concern is safety and likelihood of it turning violent.

OP posts:
AntiqueSinger · 09/02/2017 00:15

Well I went on the first big pro EU protest march shortly after the referendum, and it was lovely, lots of parents with young children, including toddlers, babes in buggies, babes in carriers, children helping to hold placards, childen eating ice-cream. No scuffles, lots of non-marching public support. Only concern from mpov was the expletives and innuendos on some of the signs that were held aloft quite cheerfully by marchers (and some baby-wearing parentsSmile)

BUT I guess the difference might have been the timing (there was a still a shock factor at result) and remainers pretty much having got what (they thought at the time) they wanted.

I would chance it and go and walk with a cluster of parents, and leave at any hint of trouble. I do think trouble is quite unlikely.

doubleshotespresso · 09/02/2017 00:26

I'll go against the grain here, no i wouldn't , 4 weeks is still very newborn to me and I think if there is trouble, your ability to leave in time and safely is limited.

Sorry, but I think in your shoes (& I really share/applaud your views I really do!) I would find other methods to get my voice heard.

NarkyMcDinkyChops · 09/02/2017 01:02

4 months, not 4 weeks. Not a newborn.

AntiHop · 09/02/2017 01:06

Yanbu. It's a long day but it will be worth it. I've took my dd on a protest at a similar age in a sling. Stay on the edge of the crowds. There may be a parents bloc at the march, check on Facebook.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 09/02/2017 01:09

It is a very emotive subject, so i'd be worried about getting unintentionally shoved about if it kicks off.
That being said, men in particular get VERY defensive of women and children in dangerous atmospheres and so you may well get your own little body guard team help you out safely if anything does happen.
If you feel strongly enough to want to go, you should go, i'm sure DD will be fine.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 09/02/2017 01:10

There will be lots of parents there I'm sure. We will probably take our one year old. Pm me if you want to join up.

brasty · 09/02/2017 01:10

In large marches, there may be pockets of trouble. But the potential troublemakers are easily spotted. March in a section where there are other families. Avoid areas with large groups of younger men. If things go from feeling good natured, to tense, then you can always leave.

SingingInTheRainstorm · 09/02/2017 01:13

I would hope all demonstrations and marches are peaceful, I would definitely baby wear, plus invest in some ear protectors. It goes without saying you will be vigilant of the atmosphere, leaving should things escalate.

Your DD is blessed to have a Mum or parents who go out of their way to make their voice and presence heard/felt. I try and advise my DC's on some current affairs, the only time they've ever really been interested, was when DS told us his mate said we're all going to die, due to the US election results. Proper little optimist.

doubleshotespresso · 09/02/2017 01:47

Gosh apologies- misread 4 months for weeks...

Hmmmm- I guess thats better, I am in a similar position to you, OP, I feel compelled to go, but I just cannot see myself taking LO. I will find other ways to get my point across!

I guess this a tough call, as others have said the subject is so emotive and especially so in London. (We just do not get it!) I would chance it with myself, but doubt I would brave it with a baby of 4 months. Sorry x

Rainmaker1 · 09/02/2017 06:15

We are leaving the EU. Time to stop whining and get over it Biscuit

NotTheBelleoftheBall · 09/02/2017 06:22

I'm usually up for a rally or march, and I care deeply about the political situation. As a child I was taken on similar marches (CND, Ban the Bomb, Greenham Common).

However I've been very hesitant since DD was born and haven't taken her to anything of that nature (even the anti Trump demonstrations, which I'd have loved to have attended). I just feel a little vulnerable with her, and situations can escalate quickly, and the idea of being 'kettled' with my 4mo DD terrifies me. So I've been watching from afar looking at Twitter

If you go (and I'm not saying it's a bad idea, I'm probably being over cautious) you'll likely be absolutely fine and I thank you for caring and being visible.

SharkBastard · 09/02/2017 06:27

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soundsystem · 09/02/2017 06:29

YANBU. Can you breastfeed with her in the sling? That will make life easier as you won't need to stop and start. Obviously take water and plenty of snacks (for you!) but I've found cafes along the way really helpful if you need to stop and change her, etc.

There will be a family bloc on the march, usually towards the front, so I'd head for that. There was no trouble on the last one, but if you're concerned being in a group with others with children might make you feel more comfortable? (As if there is trouble it's unlikely to start there!). There's also usually a shorter route if you don't feel like doing the whole trek.

I'm planning on going with my 2.5 year old (who does like a good demonstration!) and my (will be!) 8 week old. Still to work out logistics, so will come back and post anything useful I find!

lovelycuppateas · 09/02/2017 06:34

Rainmaker how rude and unhelpful. Everyone has a right to protest, and the question wasn't political but practical anyhow.

As for the OP - babywear, stand on the edges and meet up with other parents if you can. It will be fine.

SansComic · 09/02/2017 06:49

I don't think I would simply because there's the chance it could turn nasty and it can happen very quickly as I found out in my student days.

We rarely if ever crash our cars but that doesn't mean we choose to leave our children's seatbelts off.

Better safe than sorry...

DuggeeHugs · 09/02/2017 06:51

We went last time with a 13 month old in a sling. I checked the route beforehand for nearby tube stations and family-friendly museums. As soon as we thought it might become a bit much, I took DC to one of the places I'd researched for lunch and a run about, rejoining the march at the end. We all had a good day and there were no signs of violence.
A bit of prep first and you should be fine

EveOnline2016 · 09/02/2017 06:54

I wouldn't Brexit and the whole trump saga is heating up.

No way would I take that risk. If things did get violent a 4 month old can be badly hurt.

VikingVolva · 09/02/2017 07:00

I'd be more worried about the length of the day for your DC than about safety on the match.

If you do decide to go, make sure you take snacks and are reasonably self-supporting IYSWIM. Take a hard copy A-Z as well as your phone, and be ready to navigate round pockets of trouble or just go away from and back to the main events. Businesses will probably stay open along the route, unless it starts to look troublesome, but some will door code and not let obvious protesters in. I think that if you need to sit down and fee, you'll find nicer places if you go a couple of streets away (look for independently owned ideally Italian cafes if you want your baby to be much coo-ed over).

Research carefully what events are associated with the protest, and stick to the parts which look safe (big name, popular speakers; specific groups within marches). And if there is anything which looks like to could be trouble, move away from it straight away (you can always navigate back later) Leave altogether if anything worries you.

Good choice to use a sling.

whateverandever · 09/02/2017 07:20

I hesitate to say this as it goes against my principles but I wouldn't. Not with a 4 month old. Even if nothing untoward happens, babies in a sling in a massive crowd isn't a nice environment for them and the idea of any sort of crush, pushing or (however unlikely) worse is horrifying.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 09/02/2017 07:31

From a purely practical perspective. John Lewis Oxford Street has a pretty good family room/baby change.

Uglycoyote · 09/02/2017 10:18

I wouldn't. There's always the potential for any demonstration to turn nasty. Even if they don't turn nasty, I work near Westminster, and the way protestors (not all troublemakers) were contained for hours by police during the student protests a few years ago made me quite uncomfortable. They weren't in any serious danger, but the thought of being stuck like that with a baby doesn't thrill me.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 09/02/2017 10:31

I wouldn't take ds on this march I think there is likely to be opposing marches or the Trump march

I personally wouldn't take such a young child on a march, the atmosphere can change very quickly and with the number of marches that are coming up I think we are likely to see the police being more heavy handed controlling of the crowd and fencing in is a high possibility