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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu or is my mum??

12 replies

Mumtomadhouse · 07/02/2017 16:56

first time poster please be nice..daily mumsnetter though.
Is it me or my mum (have no issues if it's me just wanted to no) quick background I have 2 sister 1 brother the 2nd born is the favourite for all to see, mum won't admit it but is clear as day. I'm the youngest btw. I have 4 kids sahm with no help dp works long hours my mum has never helped me but has helped my sister numerous times so she could study, work etc.. my 2nd child has issues adhd and autism, motor tic disorder, attachment difficulties so he is and has been very difficult. My situation is we have recently booked holiday abroad my kids are 2,5,8,12 the younger 3 have never been on holiday full stop not abroad or this country not even camping, so as u can imagine we are all very excited, waited a long time had a difficult time with the 2nd child with his issues and getting a diagnosis with no back up from school. So I tell my mum this morning very excitedly that we are going on holiday my reply was oh right ok!! Maybe I am making a big deal out of nothing but it's constant from I don't like kids in track bottoms for example that day the boys were wearing tracky bottoms the younger 3 there's were bought from next the oldest were adidas so not exactly cheap or cheap looking it's just constant digs at me.. sorry for going on need some impartial views. Thanks

OP posts:
OneWithTheForce · 07/02/2017 16:59

You were excited, she wasn't. No-one was really in the wrong.

I have to say it sounds like you look to your mum for approval and as the parent of a 12 year old I'm guessing you're an adult. You don't need your mum's approval. Not for clothes or holidays or anything. Stop looking for it and you won't be disappointed when you don't get it.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 07/02/2017 17:01

So I tell my mum this morning very excitedly that we are going on holiday

my reply was oh right ok

Am I missing something in between these two bits? Because right now, I'm not quite sure where tracky bottoms come into it. Smile

WonkoTheSane42 · 07/02/2017 17:02

What were you expecting her to say?

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 07/02/2017 17:06

I've reread...... I get the tracky bottom bit now Blush

It sounds like a constant drip drip drip of disinterest/disapproval.

YANBU but not sure what you can do about it other than ignore it Flowers

Heirhelp · 07/02/2017 17:10

If you have 4 kids and some with SEN it maybe that she feels she is unable to look after them. How many children does your sister have?

Magzmarsh · 07/02/2017 17:12

Only you can know how it makes you feel but it doesn't sound that bad written down.

Original poster
Mumtomadhouse · 07/02/2017 17:15

My sister has 2 my, older sister has 4 my brother has 2 but lives abroad. Sorry pie hat I meant my mums reply was oh right ok! Yes I am a adult a 30 year old adult no approval is needed from her at all, but if a friend was to say that to me I would say oh lovely where r u going when u going how long for are the kids excited etc something along then lines. She das oap day trips out and when she tells me I at least act interested ask questions etc. Just some interest in me, my kids would be nice.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumtomadhouse · 07/02/2017 17:23

Tbh heir help I can understand that point but my son wasn't diagnosed till last may even though I've been saying it since he was 18 months old she never believed me even when I foned her to tell her about the diagnosis she still didn't believe me, the only reason she didn't see it was coz she never saw them unless I take them to see her, so that's y I don't think the reason she wont look after him is anything to do with his issues.

OP posts:
OneWithTheForce · 07/02/2017 17:35

she never believed me even when I foned her to tell her about the diagnosis she still didn't believe me

I wouldn't have phoned her. Why did you? She hasn't believed you for 6 years. She is unsupportive. Why would you put yourself out there for her to dismiss you again? You know her well enough now to know how she is, stop putting yourself in that position.

Littleballerina · 07/02/2017 17:40

I don't understand? Confused
You want your mum to look after your 2nd child while you are away? He has additional needs and wears tracksuit bottoms which your mum disproves of?

Allthebestnamesareused · 07/02/2017 17:48

Littleballerina - no Ithink she is taking all the kids but expected her Mum to share in her excitement that finally they are getting a holiday.

Mum wasn't excited and disapproves of things she does (like putting kids in trackies) so she feel like Mum is not supportive of her.

Have a lovely, lovely holiday OP. By the way the sweatshirt style shorts are very comfy my son tells me!

Littleballerina · 07/02/2017 17:52

Thanks allthebest.
OP- Ignore your mum. You know that you deserve this holiday and your Mums opinion doesn't matter.

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