Costs incurred from winding up after parents

[InheritanceQuandary]

My parents died recently. I have one sibling and we are jointly and equally to inherit from them. They lived in a large property for many years. When they died, my sibling was not able to spend much time clearing up the house, maintaining it and putting it and its contents up for sale/donation/redistribution. I took 100% of the responsibility for this, incurring 15 or so trips (5 hour journey each way) and a total of about ten weeks work. My sibling came three times, mostly to choose items of furniture.

I sold some items to pay for maintenance. Now the house is sold, about £5,000 of this running expense account remains. I spent way more than this on travel and loss of earnings. My sibling wants half of this cash. AIBU to think she should let me keep it?

Sorry for your loss. Clearing out the property is hard. I probably did more than my siblings but I was only about 30 miles away.
I also acted as administrator for what little assets they had. I did not claim any extra but in your case maybe a claim for mileage may be appropriate.

I did all the work of settling DM's estate when she died. I did live closest but it took a lot of time. When it came to splitting my 2 brothers decided I should have an extra £2k for my efforts without me asking. They also offered my DH extra from the pot for work he did on the house to prep it for sale.
Don't think YABU, it's amazing how much work there is to do!

Morally you're probably right but I'm assuming you've inherited a reasonable amount given you say it was a large property. If so and you don't need the money desperately I wouldn't fall out over £2.5k.

As I understand it after selling your parents belongings you put some money back into maintaining the house and the remaining amount is 5k?

At the very least you should be able to claim more for the cost of travel you incurred, if I was your sibling (and assuming I wasn't living on the breadline) I'd also let you have more/all of it to reimburse you for your time.

If you're going to get a large sum of money from the house though it's possibly not worth quibbling about. Have you broached the subject - is she aware of how long it all actually took?

Costs of sorting out the estate should come from the estate.

I agree with Disney Millie
I too think that morally you are correct, but it would be hard to raise it without it becoming a contentious issue really - unless your sibling offers.

Costs of sorting out the estate should come out of the estate. So I wouldn't frame it in terms of "keeping the lot", but draw up a reasonable invoice of costs - at the very least travel, but any other misc costs like cleaning materials, etc, - and take that out of the running before you divide what's left. Whether you include loss of earnings is up to you.

Only aftrer the expenses are paid do you divide what's left.

Tot up your costs including mileage, cleaning materials, bin bags, ebay fees if applicable etc, invoice the estate for that and then split the remainder 50/50.

If she kicks off about that then you have a choice to let it go in the interests of sibling harmony or .... not.

Obviously the same applies to her too, so her mileage for her three trips etc.

I agree with PP: make it "official", an invoice, with receipts, etc.
You shouldn't have to ask for anything, just show her the paperwork and reclaim the money.
Why should she be upset? It is money spent as part of handling the succession, same as other fees and taxes that had to be paid.

Don't forget that if you'd used a house clearance company, cleaning company or similar, you would have paid them. It might help to think of it that way so you don't feel you're just being grabby. Make sure your sibling realises that as well.

Morally, you are correct. Legally, you are not. DH had a similar situation with a shared inheritance. His twat of a brother did nothing to help clear, just wanted his cash from the sale. Due to their poor relationship, everything was done via solicitors so advice was sought on splitting clearance costs. End result, DH had to take on all the costs associated with the clearance. If you have a better relationship with your sibling, hopefully their better nature will prevail. Unfortunately DH brother has no better nature and they are now NC. (Lots of other stuff, not just this issue, but this was one of many straw placed upon the camel!)