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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dd8 and vest for PE

13 replies

chloem030908 · 31/01/2017 16:48

I have just picked up my Dd from school and was pulled aside by her class teacher asking if dd could make sure she keeps her vest on for PE.
The reason she gave dd is that she is taller than the rest of the class(she is) and thats why she should Confused

Now I know she has started to develop small buds on her chest and I have asked her if she wants to wear a vest previously but she never seemed fussed plus she gets hot easily.
Neither has she complained of them hurting or rubbing, so Ive left it so far.

Aibu to feel irritated by this and surely if they feel so strongly about this they should issue out a letter to all parents to ensure every child should do the same?

OP posts:
JellyWitch · 31/01/2017 16:50

Maybe they need to have boys and girls in different changing rooms. Asking her to keep her vest on is silly. Presumably it is a wider issue by year 6 in any case.

WineIsMyMainVice · 31/01/2017 16:53

Have you spoken to DD yet? How does she feel about it? Hope she's ok...

Kiroro · 31/01/2017 16:57

Not sure , quite a tricky one.

As a society, we have decided that when female breasts stop looking like male breasts, that they are sexual, private and need to be covered over at all times.

So I suppose if she is developing breast buds that is the point at which to wear a crop top or something.

Personally I think 8 is v young to be having to worry about modesty but people seem more hung up on it now and girls are hitting puberty earlier.

Crispbutty · 31/01/2017 17:04

If she is visibly starting to develop breasts then I do think she should wear a vest. But I also think all the children should be wearing the same too. No need to single her out for her body or her clothing then.

By 9 I was wearing a bra as I developed very early.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 31/01/2017 17:04

It does seem an unnecessary request, particularly if your dd is not bothered by it or uncomfortable.

Perhaps if other children have made comments during the lesson (?) she may prefer to start wearing a vest but I would have thought that is her choice.
Cotton crop top vests can offer some support if she wishes to wear one instead of a vest. I do find the teacher's comments fairly bizarre though Confused.

1happyhippie · 31/01/2017 17:07

Do they still get changed for pe with the boys?
My dds are 7 and 9 and both classes get changed seperate to the boys now.
My 9 yr old wears a crop top but that's mainly because most of her friends do. My 7 yr old still wears a vest under her shirt that I imagine she keeps on for pe.
What does your dd think? She might like to go shopping with you to pick out crop tops or similar.

minisoksmakehardwork · 31/01/2017 17:10

At that age in my school girls and boys change separately so I really don't understand what the teacher's issue is. If she thinks your daughter needs to be more modest, then she needs to articulate why better than 'because she's tall'.

If your dd needs support for her developing breasts then that is something you and she should discuss. If she needs to over up so others aren't embarrassed, then the pshe lesson needs to tackle puberty now, not in a year or two's time.

Original poster
chloem030908 · 31/01/2017 17:14

She does occasionally wear a vest, but as I said she's not fussed either way and with all her clothes on its not hugely noticable.
I did ask as we left whether anyone had said anything to her during PE she said no one had and she seemed a bit confused about the teachers reasoning about it being that it's because she's tall.

OP posts:
Kiroro · 31/01/2017 17:16

But I also think all the children should be wearing the same too.

Don't be daft.

Should all children wear a headscarf just because a musliim girl has to for modesty? No.

Should a small chested woman have to wear strapping great sports bra contraptions on the beech just because a woman with massive norks has to? No.

Should the OPs DD have to wear a real bra just because someone else in the school need to? No.

WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT AND WE SHOULD CELEBRATE THAT

Dancergirl · 31/01/2017 17:19

What do they wear for PE? Are we talking about the split second her chest is on show between taking off her school shirt and putting on PE top/polo shirt? It's ridiculous to make a big deal over that especially as your dd isn't bothered.

Original poster
chloem030908 · 31/01/2017 17:28

Yes Dancergirl, it is the split second when they have to change into their PE shirts.
They do this altogether in the classroom, at their tables apparently

OP posts:
TataEs · 31/01/2017 17:51

what about in summer? when it's a million degrees. vest on then? she's 8. of the teachers have issue surely the girls can change in the classroom and the boys in the cloakroom or something?

Dancergirl · 31/01/2017 17:55

OP, my dd is 9 and also starting to develop a bit. Most of the girls in her class wear crop tops whether they are developing or not. Dd chooses to wear one on PE days only, and even so boys and girls change separately.

It won't be long before your dd wants to wear something. But it should be her choice and not something for the teacher to insist on.

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