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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weird parkiing and mother

28 replies

Lymmmummy · 30/01/2017 09:13

Basically this morning as I walked my son and his baby sister into school I brushed past a toddler at a part of the road on the entry to school that is very narrow and for this reason very few mothers let toddlers walk on this bit and instead carry them. I did not knock the child to the ground or anything like that I merely brushed past him with my pram which brushed against a bag he was carrying. I did say sorry. The mother then said in a very exaggerated voice "excuse me"

This woman also parks opposite to where I park - when I got back to the car she claimed I had knocked her child off its feet I said "I am very sorry I did nit see him" she then starts on "I saw that cars are struggling to get down this road with your car parked there why did you park here when I (she) was already there? I said well she doesn't own the road and that why didn't she move if she saw people were struggling? I then said well thanks for letting me know that and she continued on rabbiting the same crap

It really pissed me off and I hat conflict but I genuinely did not brush her toddler off its feet and it was irresponsible of her to allow her toddler to be walking there plus who the f*ck does she think she is to tell me where I can park

Whole think very odd and I don't know what to do next if anything at all any advice

OP posts:
Original poster
Lymmmummy · 30/01/2017 09:14

*hate not hat conflict

OP posts:
CookieLady · 30/01/2017 09:16

YABU. Hope that helps. Grin

wettunwindee · 30/01/2017 09:19

If she was parked first and you parked opposite causing an obstruction then you need to park more considerately.

I'm sure knocking the toddler was an accident. I'd simply have told her that I'd apologised and she was getting wound up over nothing. If she continued rabbiting then I'd ignore her or do the old scratch-your-face-with-a-middle-finger trick but I can be a bolshy arse! Ignoring her is probably the best. Ranters hate to be ignored but it tends to be the sensible option.

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder · 30/01/2017 09:19

There's not much you can do really except just avoid her. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong and accidents happen, what does she expect you to do to make amends? You said sorry and that should be the end of it.

RE the parking, YABU if cars struggle to get through because you are essentially blocking the road. And if she was there first and it only became an obstruction when you parked then you should have found an alternative space.

londonrach · 30/01/2017 09:21

Who parked first? Did the last to park block the road?

Original poster
Lymmmummy · 30/01/2017 09:22

Thanks for reaponses I was not in anyway blocking the road I think it was a cas of she just wanted the parking spot

I was just so shocked by the way she went on it's left me a bit shook up to be honest - I will probably just park elsewhere in future and avoid her

OP posts:
Original poster
Lymmmummy · 30/01/2017 09:23

I mean she just wanted to demand true whole part of the road for herself I was not causing any kind of obstruction

OP posts:
celeryisnotasuperfood · 30/01/2017 09:32

If you parked after her in such a way that it made the road narrow and more difficult e.g. down to single file and awkward for wide vehicles and lorries then yes she had a point. Its this kind of behaviour at school drop off time that does give people the rage - park further away and more considerately.
With regard to brushing against her toddler - then she isn't going to know if it was a brush or a knock if the toddler gets unsteady. She might have over reacted but in all honesty put yourself in her shoes - its Monday morning, it can be stressful doing the school run, it could be a toddler that hates being carried and it looks worse than it was - if you thought your toddler had been knocked maybe sometimes you would react without thinking all possibilities through.
Brush it off and don't engage. Based on what you've written I think both of you probably need to chill out and not let this spoil the rest of your day.

Eevee77 · 30/01/2017 09:32

Just avoid her. Be more aware of who is around you in future. Obviously she should of had her child within her reach however. But no obstruction at all? Even visually? It's strange she'd say that if you weren't? If cars were struggling you should have parked elsewhere.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/01/2017 09:35

She sounds stressed. Best to ignore her. It won't have been personal. You were a useful outlet and punching bag.

Original poster
Lymmmummy · 30/01/2017 09:38

Ok will chill out but I was shocked by her reaction plus to be fair she could have put herself in my shoes with a young child and a pram getting to school - this part of the pavement is v narrow hence why most people carry toddlers at bust times rather than let them walk

Again I did not block the road

I found her behaviour almost bully like and it just really unsettled me I was unsure whether to just park elsewhere and let it drop or do something and was wondering if anyone else has been insimiliar sort of situation of someone completely overreacting to something

Thanks for your views

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 30/01/2017 09:41

If the pavement is so narrow why were you overtaking to brush her toddler?

If you did shitty school-mum parking then yabu

Original poster
Lymmmummy · 30/01/2017 09:43

I was not overtaking she was walking in the opposite direction away from the school and I was walking into the school

OP posts:
Original poster
Lymmmummy · 30/01/2017 09:44

Also I was not parking on the narrow road where I walked and brushed past her with he pram I was parked a 5 minute walk away on a wide street that this woman also just happens to park on

OP posts:
MilkRunningOutAgain · 30/01/2017 09:49

There is one crazy mum at DD's school who parks opposite a row of parked cars and so almost but not quite blocks the road, a car can get through taking care and going slowly. She also shrieks ( not an exaggeration) at the parents who park on the other side of the road ( in marked parking spaces) nearly every day. The poor HeadT had had loads of parents complain and has had more than 1 word with the mum, but I think he is effectively powerless to stop her. I now park further away and walk 4-5 minutes to school as it has just got all too stressful for me! I have been shrieked at a couple of times and it is a bit shocking, but on realising this particular mum is crazy, am now finding it almost amusing and several groups in the playground have little else to talk about apart from the crazy mum's new ranting every Monday. OP, it you parked considerately you did nothing wrong, ignore the woman or if she gets to you, park elsewhere and chill!

PovertyPain · 30/01/2017 09:50

Don't let her get into your head, op. She sounds like a bully that's spoiling for a fight. Since when has being 'stressed', given people permission to act like dicks? Just pay no heed to her and if she says anything again just walk away.

BillSykesDog · 30/01/2017 09:51

So basically you parked after her and caused an obstruction. You might not have blocked the road but it sounds like you made passing awkward. And it probably made it embarrassing for her because when she returned other people would have given her shit thinking it was her parking. And why would she have wanted your space she already had one?

And if it was a narrow space why did you barge past her toddler when their wasn't room? It's all very well asking people to empathise with you because you have a pram, but empathy goes both ways and you don't seem to be able to put yourself in her shoes either.

Original poster
Lymmmummy · 30/01/2017 10:10

Ok I was not expecting endless empathy for my situation I was just referring to the fact that a prevuous poster had said I should have had empathy for the mother with the toddler - again that does work both ways

This section of the pavement where I brushed past her child will be v busy at the time the incident happened with prams, young children running, people walking with dogs to school etc and for this reason eg the high possibility of a toddler being knocked off their feet most people chose to carry or have toddlers in a pram at this point. Again I stress I merely brushed past her child with my pram by accident for which I did say sorry at the time

The mother did not have to feel awkward in terms of other road users - as the road was not blocked and of course she could have moved her own car as she had completed her own school run and seemed to just stay in her car watching things and start a fight with me

Lots of different opinions and I thank people for them I think I will park elsewhere - like I say it was the strength of her reaction and her unwillingness to just let it go after I had said sorry that made me feel a bit bullied by her

OP posts:
DontTouchTheMoustache · 30/01/2017 10:18

Hmm I don't know, we only have your side saying that you didn't cause an obstruction. It really winds me up when people do this and I can't get through because of course if you scratched their cars you would be the one to blame. Unless it's a very wide road you shouldn't have parked opposite her. Was there ample space for a fire engine or ambulance to get through? If not then you should park somewhere else.
Also if it's a very narrow.bit of pavement and you have a pram perhaps one of you should have waited for the other to get passed. Without seeing what happened we can't really say whether YABU or not because it sounds like you might have been inconsiderate (understandable as it's school run and you have pram etc so it's stressful) but also sounds like she might have overreacted. In future just remember that you are both stressed and probably likely to overreact.

piefacerecords · 30/01/2017 10:20

Oh goody, another school parking loon thread Grin

YABU. If a car is already parked on the opposite side of the carriageway, you were in the wrong parking directly on the opposite side, therefore making it difficult for other cars to get through.

HTH.

Bluntness100 · 30/01/2017 10:27

I think the issue is when two cars park opposite each other on a street, then it narrows the main thoroughfare and means other cars struggle to get down it and have to slow right down, which is i think what she was saying, it was inconsiderate parking. In addition you knocked her child with your pram, most people would have simply said excuse me and made sure enough space was available to get through before proceeding so they did not knock the child.

So clearly you just wound her up and she had a go. I'd let it go if I was you. Maybe try to park more considerately in future and if you see toddlers on the path, just say excuse me and wait a second before barging through to avoid hitting them. This way parents won't be having a go at you in the mornings.

hmcAsWas · 30/01/2017 10:31

I would not park opposite another car if it made the road narrow. No you may not have 'blocked' the road, but you probably made it only single vehicle width?

She was being precious and unreasonable about her toddler - especially since you had said you were sorry.

LizzieMacQueen · 30/01/2017 10:52

How big is your pram?

Original poster
Lymmmummy · 30/01/2017 10:59

My pram is quite small a car seat on a frame not a huge bugaboo or carrycot type of thing

I accept I should have been more careful and not the issue around cars parking opposite each other regardless of the width of the road

Like I say just all a bit shocking and I was left a bit shaken by it all (snowflake I know) and I felt sort of bullied by the woman

I will change my parking habits and other stuff but I do wonder if the woman needed to be so OTT and I wonder is the type who will have problems and arguments with dog owners/ kids running/ kids on scooters all of them knocking her toddler off their feet because basically she is allowing her toddler to walk in busy unsuitable places then overreacting of the child is ever even touched in passing

OP posts:
skankingpiglet · 30/01/2017 11:03

If the space to pass her was really that narrow, surely she was doing everyone a favour by not having the toddler in a buggy, as that would take up even more space. Would you have been able to pass her at all if you'd both been pushing prams?

I think she was BU in not accepting your apology, as accidents do happen and I doubt you set out to hurt a child, however you do come across as believing your right to pavement/road space trumps hers and her child's.