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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fiancée not coming home

16 replies

readysetbake · 27/01/2017 23:53

My fiancée went to watch a friends band tonight. He has just called me to say that he hasn't got the last train home and is going to stay with friends.

I challenged him via text and he said he would come home if I would pay for his taxi.

We have two children under 3 who will be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow. I am a stay at home mum and really look forward to the weekend when I can have an extra pair of hands. Now I'll be on my own until he decides to come home tomorrow.

He was also away on a lads weekend Friday and Saturday night last week.

AIBU to be really pissed off about this?

OP posts:
Rioja123 · 27/01/2017 23:55

Two weekends in a row would really annoy me actually!

ilovelamp82 · 27/01/2017 23:59

Plan a day/night out for yourself tomorrow and walk out when he comes home. Maybe stay somewhere else over night.

Yes I would be pissed off two weekends in a row. I would also be annoyed at him suggesting that you be the one that pay for his taxi. Just leave to do something you want tomorrow.

LilacSpatula · 28/01/2017 00:01

Why can't he pay for his own taxi!?

ellamoromou · 28/01/2017 00:02

It wouldn't bother me tbh - but I was a single mum who didn't have any help from an OH.

He's probably just having a great time and wants it to carry on? I've been there - you go out and are having a good time so it goes on later than expected.

Unless he has history of course for not pulling his weight and doing this regularly and you get the chance of time off too with your mates

ellamoromou · 28/01/2017 00:04

Missed the taxi bit! absolute bollix to that though! Shock

Finola1step · 28/01/2017 00:04

My dh is out. No idea when he will be back. But it isn't a problem because he does this rarely. He won't be stumbling drunk and he will stay take the dc to football in the morning.

Your OJ is taking the mick. Is he opting out of family life in other ways?

Finola1step · 28/01/2017 00:04

OH not OJ.

LexieLulu · 28/01/2017 00:05

For he can afford to stay out drinking, he can afford a taxi home

chickalickaloo · 28/01/2017 00:06

Yanbu. When he walks in the door tomorrow, you walk out and let him deal with the kids. Go to a friend or family members house.. have a bubble bath, pizza and watch a movie. He's a dick

readysetbake · 28/01/2017 00:07

Lilac because he wants to stay out. A taxi back home will cost him at least £20, which is why we agreed he would get the last train.

OP posts:
scottishdiem · 28/01/2017 00:11

Is this every weekend or just two bad weekends? Does he do this (miss his train) often? Often enough for you to challenge him via text? Does he often put things that require costs to fix on you?

I ask because all we are told is that he missed his train and you are not happy about this which seems a very disproportional response. Do you think he didnt really and just opted to stay out and that is what is annoying? Have you checked twitter to see of the band were late on stage or played extra songs?

readysetbake · 28/01/2017 00:16

He didn't miss the train at all, he didn't get on it and then rang me to say he wasn't coming home.

I have no issue with him staying out if it's planned and agreed. I think I'm pissed off at the fact that he just decided he wasn't coming home and that was that.

OP posts:
LexieLulu · 28/01/2017 00:18

I'd be pissed off too! When is your lie in/break from the kids. He's being selfish

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/01/2017 00:29

This was probably the plan all along, but it wouldnt have been agreed in advance because he was out all weekend last week and he knows that there is no way you would be ok with him doing it again this weekend. That shows that he knows he is being selfish and has done it anyway.

Also, when he is already out then there is not one thing you can do about it, and he knows that.

Forget being pissed off, I would go fucking nuclear that he thinks its ok for him to treat me like that. What would his reaction be if you did this even once, never mind 2 weeks on the trot? Have a think about that......

NovemberInDailyFailLand · 28/01/2017 00:32

Staying with 'friends', eh? Sure there isn't one particular 'friend'?

Saracen · 28/01/2017 01:05

If this happened once in a blue moon, I would be inclined to forgive.

But he was out for the ENTIRE weekend last week as well.

YANBU.

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