To be fed up with sleep deprivation

[SEsofty]

8 month old baby. Ebf, plus solids. Has never consistently slept through but sleep is getting worse.

The thing which is hardest is that every single night is different.

Generally goes to sleep well at 7/7.30 after bath, feed etc.

Then will wake anything between one and five times in the night. Will only settle with a feed, and generally then goes back to sleep. Start the day between 6 and 7.

I am finding it hard because I never know when he will wake so struggle to get into any deep sleep.

Eg three nights ago slept 7-3.30, then 3.45 to 6.30
But last night woke at 10.30, 12.45, 2.20, 3.10 and 5.45.

Any help or ideas?

A good night my 12 month old (bf) still wakes up 4 times.
A bad night every 30 mins, I have tried everything to get her out of this habit (which is what it is) she just won't self settle, and need the breast as comfort.
She has never taken to a bottle or a dummy, tried gentle sleep training.
Tried giving her something of mine, tried reducing bf times (could go on and on).

My DD (almost 1) was very similar, waking several times a night, only settling with a feed... she didn't sleep through until about a week ago! We didn't really try any sleep training (had a brief go at a Cheshire baby whisperer method with sensory toys etc, but too faffy and didn't work for us). It was really, really tough.

About a month ago we decided to change things up a bit, with DH putting her to bed instead of me feeding her to sleep. She went down really easily with a dummy and him lying next to the cot, much to my surprise! Then we started night weaning. When she woke I'd get her up, give her some water, a cuddle and a dummy. Then when she was calm and sleepy put her back in the cot, and lie next to it until she went back to sleep. She didn't seem upset not to be fed, as long as she got a cuddle she was ok. Took a long while to get her back to sleep the first two nights, but after that it got a lot easier. Now if she wakes i give her the dummy and that puts her back to sleep, or stroke her head a bit, without having to get her out of the cot.

She has woken at 4/5/6am a few nights and seemed genuinely hungry (drinking lots of water, not settling easily, going for my boobs!) so I've fed her. But we're trying to get get through till 7am without a feed, and have managed it a few times. Her daytime eating (solids) has massively improved since doing this. But i definitely think our success has been down to waiting till she seemed "ready" and not forcing it.

Good luck OP.

I know it's only anaecdotal, but I found 8-10 months was the patch where mine were 'worse'. I wonder if it's partly because we expect them to be getting easier by that point, it's always implied that they'll sleep better once they're eating properly

No idea. My kids still won't sleep and they're 5 and 3. Am fed up with sleep deprivation too.

YANBU. It's bloody exhausting. I've got two DDs and first time round was a dream sleeper I didn't know how good I had it. DD2 is turning 2 next week and she still gets up once or twice a night. But it's better than every hour. After a year I had enough and put her down and let her cry it out. And I kept letting her cry it out and eventually it worked. It's not for everyone and is very upsetting. You need to be mentally prepared. Now she goes to bed after a story and a cuddle and a kiss. The waking s don't last and sometimes she just needs tucked back in and a sip of water. I keep telling myself it won't last forever!

I feel your pain. Mine was the same at that age. Still pretty bad now at 16 months to be honest.

We tried everything, even the dreaded controlled crying (which made things worse...) what did work quite well was this:

explain to child that when they wake up, there's no boob but daddy will be there. Dh does ALL wake ups with quiet but boring cuddles and water. They WILL howl like a banshee for a couple of nights, but they are being cuddled and comforted so it's ok. It's. It like leaving them alone to cry.

Try it for ten days. See how you go. It's not made ours into a champion sleeper or anything but it's made life a bit more bearable. Little swine still wakes for the day ta 4am though ;)