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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

7yo hit by two kids in school playground

14 replies

FriedPisces · 25/01/2017 10:26

7yo DS came home from school yesterday quite distressed. He told me that two children from his class had hit him in the stomach because they found out it was his birthday last week and had had a party and not invited them (numbers were extremely limited, I'm bloody skint). Asked him if he told the teacher, he said no. Got as much info as I could out of him and said I would speak to his teacher and TA in the morning. However, we were late (it's my eldest son's birthday, this is why I am so skint) so everything ran late and I didn't want to interrupt her as she was settling them all down. It's given me time to think though that rushing in there would be unreasonable.
What does the world of mumsnet think? If he was OK enough not to cry or tell a teacher when he was hit by them it was perhaps not as hard as it could have been. But I want to protect him and make his world ok again (he was very upset last night). WIBU to speak to the teacher or would that be an overreaction?

OP posts:
RatOnnaStick · 25/01/2017 10:34

Definitely speak to the teacher. How can they police stuff like this if they don't hear about the incident? This kind of thing is best nipped in the bud quickly and sharply.

moonchild77 · 25/01/2017 10:37

Phone the school and speak to the headteacher now.
How awful for your poor son.
Bullies need to be stopped asap.
Hope you get it sorted.

RatOnnaStick · 25/01/2017 10:38

If he was OK enough not to cry or tell a teacher when he was hit by them it was perhaps not as hard as it could have been.

That there is why kids stop telling adults when there is a problem. If something happens and the grown up they tell it to does nothing it can make them feel that there's no point because it seems as if they aren't believed or that they should just suck it up. If it can happen once it can happen again unless someone with responsibility steps in before anything else can happen.

Servicesupportforall · 25/01/2017 10:43

Op your most important action is to ask your son what he wants you to do.

A ton of trouble is caused by parents jumping in and acting on what their child tells them without discussing any action with their child first.

He may well want you to go in. He may equally have trusted you enough to share this with you but he feels he can cope with this by himself and in that case respect him but keep a watching brief

Original poster
FriedPisces · 25/01/2017 10:46

Ah OK, it's not just me then! I was pretty upset as well. Never had to go in for stuff like this as my other kids haven't had this kind of stuff happen. Friendship stuff, yes but actual hitting, no. Will get in touch with them and sort it out. I did ask him if he wanted me to and he said yes so that's what I'll do.

OP posts:
user1483387154 · 25/01/2017 10:58

I would talk to the teacher or TA. If your child doesnt want anything done the you could always say that you dont need them to 'sort it out' but just want them to be aware that it had happened.

Servicesupportforall · 25/01/2017 11:01

If he wants you to get involved you must then.

Hope you get it sorted op it's so upsetting to see your kids upset like this.

Snowflakes1122 · 25/01/2017 11:19

I'd call and ask to speak to the teacher.
It's probably easier to talk about it over the phone than with all the other parents around anyway.

Of course you need to tell them though.

Hope your son is ok now.

Original poster
FriedPisces · 25/01/2017 11:26

Will definitely speak to her. Have left a message for her to call me back.

He's not really warmed to her all that much and I'm not sure she has to him either but she still has a responsibility to look out for him, surely. And these kids who hit him, I thought they were mild mannered, pleasant kids. Fancy hitting someone for not inviting you to your party FFS. It's not as if either of them invited DS.

OP posts:
Allthewaves · 25/01/2017 11:29

I would have left msg for a call back as you have done. Just stay calm and relay the facts ds told u. Teacher can investigate and keep an eye out

Original poster
FriedPisces · 26/01/2017 10:05

Well I spoke to her late on yesterday and she is going to speak to the children that DS named and the friend he was with so I felt better that she would get to the bottom of things.

However! Then he tells me as we are walking home that he was hit and pushed over in the playground yesterday but by different children. I'm trying to keep it in perspective as it's two isolated incidents but it is a bit worrying. He was helped out by a few friends yesterday which is good but they need to be doing more to supervise playtimes really (although I know resources are tight at all schools). So will be speaking to her again later I think!

OP posts:
Mumzypopz · 26/01/2017 19:56

I think I would really question my child and make sure he's not making a mountain out of a molehill with this one, now that he's had a bit of attention from the one the day before.

369thegoosedrankwine · 26/01/2017 20:08

I would go in without doubt and I have done. In the past I worded it along the lines of 'not sure if I am overreacting but I need to mention this' and the reaction I have had from staff has been great.

All children can overreact and a lot of 7 yo can be unkind that's why adults should step in.

Original poster
FriedPisces · 26/01/2017 22:18

He came home today much happier. The two children in question apologised and they lost half a playtime.
I did wonder about the second incident. He embellished a little this morning. Keeping an eye on things. And trying not to catastrophise...
(I did phrase it very similar to that 369 Grin

OP posts:
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