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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a child free wedding?

31 replies

MistyyDayys · 20/01/2017 17:12

Dp and I get married in the summer. The only children we want there is our 2 yo ds. Dp has two teenage dc who love playing with him and will
Keep him amused, plus loads of family etc. We know having a child free wedding means some people won't make it.

OP posts:
NapQueen · 20/01/2017 17:13

Yanbu. Your day your way.

However as long as you genuinely mean you don't mind if people don't come because they can't (or wont) leave their dc.

Personally I love invites to child free weddings. My kids like going to grandparents and I like having a day without my kids.

Barefootcontessa84 · 20/01/2017 17:13

Do what you want! As long as you understand those people with children are perfectly within their rights to decline.

Strongmummy · 20/01/2017 17:14

What's your AIBU?

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 20/01/2017 17:15

It's not clear, are the teenagers invited? I'm guessing.

Do what you want then. If people can't/won't come that's up to them.

The only exception I would make is for babes in arms of family or close friends.

Mrsglitterfairy · 20/01/2017 17:15

Yanbu if that's what you want. I personally love a child free wedding. DSs go to their grandads or aunties for the day/night, dh and I get a nice time to ourselves.
Most kids get bored at weddings and their parents can't relax and enjoy themselves.
We had a pretty much child free wedding, only 6 there and all our friends and family were fine about it

BasinHaircut · 20/01/2017 17:16

No YANBU.

Will there be other teens there? I ask because if there are your DP's teens might not be as willing to entertain DS as you might hope. They will be too busy plotting ways to get pissed without getting in trouble

BroomstickOfLove · 20/01/2017 17:17

YANBU. It's not OK to have a child-free wedding and get annoyed when people don't come, or to have a child-free wedding 'because it will be a nice break for the parents'. But having a child-free wedding because it's what you want and being up-front about it is fine.

Original poster
MistyyDayys · 20/01/2017 17:19

Well the oldest dc is 18 so he won't get into trouble for having a few pints lol but he doesn't usually bother. We offer him a drink if we are having one when he visits but he hardly ever takes one. I don't think there will be any other teens there actually.

OP posts:
BroomstickOfLove · 20/01/2017 17:20

Although if the people who won't be able to come include very close relatives or friends, they might conclude that they are less important to you than they had believed. That's the only reason you might want to take into account, and it probably doesn't apply.

HyacinthsBucket · 20/01/2017 17:25

I don't think going child free is an issue, as long as you're happy to accept that some people won't come because of it. I don't have issues as long as it's made clear on the invites.

harderandharder2breathe · 20/01/2017 17:38

Yanbu as long as you genuinely don't mind some people not coming because of it

2014newme · 20/01/2017 17:41

Yanbu as long as you don't then let some kids come and not others.by which I mean guests kids, not your own.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 20/01/2017 17:41

God no, I love a child free wedding! And I say that as a parent of 3. I love them but I also love some time without them!

InTheDessert · 20/01/2017 17:49

Nope, YANBU.
The invites which get me read "we have decided, in order to make it a better day for you, that children will not be able to attend". If you choose to have a child free wedding, that is your choice, just tell us. But don't tell us it is for our benifit, please.

BishopBrennansArse · 20/01/2017 17:50

It's not child free if there's a 2 year old there Confused

Berthatydfil · 20/01/2017 17:52

So you don't want your nearly adult step children to to attend?

expatinscotland · 20/01/2017 17:53

What Dessert said.

yellowfrog · 20/01/2017 17:54

I read the OP as meaning the step kids are teenagers not children and so will be there

HecateAntaia · 20/01/2017 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Berthatydfil · 20/01/2017 18:03

Ah ok. Of course you van have a child free wedding but if you do you need to be prepared for some guests to decline the invitation.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 20/01/2017 18:07

As everyone else has said, YANBU, just don't throw a hissy fit when people decline.

Lake2 · 20/01/2017 18:08

Your day, your rules. However, if it was a close relative who did this, such as my sister, and she also wanted her child there, I'd be mega pissed off. I'd feel like my children were irrelevant to her and seen as a pain. You also can't get annoyed if people then decline the invitation.

ImperialBlether · 20/01/2017 18:10

I don't see why people can't invite only their own children, tbh. Obviously people can refuse to go, but they shouldn't feel insulted.

Topseyt · 20/01/2017 18:12

Have a child free wedding if you want, as long as you understand that it could be the reason why some people decline. Not everyone has easy access to appropriate childcare.

Your wedding, your day, your choice.

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/01/2017 18:33

"We know having a child free wedding means some people won't make it."
YANBU.