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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not let children in the kitchen?

19 replies

user1477282676 · 19/01/2017 22:04

Well that sounds harsher than it is...but I have a general hatred of DC in kitchens....running around, grabbing things which aren't toys...it makes me nervous.

Yesterday, DC had a friend over and they kept gravitating to the kitchen, I think, because the friend is allowed to hang out in her own kitchen at home. So my DC were with them of course.

I said "No children in the kitchen please...there's a whole house and garden for you"

DH thinks I'm harsh. I just don't like them near the cooker or kettle....DC are 6 and 9.

OP posts:

FrancisCrawford · 19/01/2017 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mindtrope · 19/01/2017 22:12

Do your kids cook OP?

Because I feel involving the kids in the kitchen is a good thing.
Obviously no horse play or running around, but they won;t be doing that if they have something interesting to do. Kids of your age can be taking an active interest in cooking.

junebirthdaygirl · 19/01/2017 22:15

Think it's fine to encourage friends to play with dc outside of kitchen but for your own dc longterm it's not great. They need to be in there watching ye cook, helping to set up for dinner, emptying dishwasher, baking whatever. It's the hub of the home and they need to be in the middle of it. Not when friends are over though.

wonkylegs · 19/01/2017 22:17

It's fine, your house, your rules - if it works for you then it's ok
I've never had a problem with it on safety grounds personally , I've tended to go down the teach kids to be safe rather than keep them away school of thought but I do tend to send the kids out into the massive garden or the conservatory when we have guests to keep chaos & mess out of the house and because we have an awesome garden that they tend gravitate towards in most weathers anyway and then want to trapse mud through the house

HalfwayMe · 19/01/2017 22:18

For having friends over, I think it's fine to get them in other areas as much as possible.

On a day to day basis though, Id think it was a bit weird if your kids never or rarely went in the kitchen.

dollydaydream114 · 19/01/2017 22:18

I wouldn't want kids under my feet when I was trying to get stuff done, wherever I was in the house, so it's perfectly reasonable to tell them to clear off and play somewhere else if they're getting in your way.

However ... if you really do never ever let your kids in the kitchen at all, that seems really strange to me. Don't you ever cook with your kids? Don't they make cakes or biscuits or toast or anything like that?

And you don't let a 9-year-old near the kettle? I would expect a 9-year-old to be making hot drinks with the kettle for him/herself and for other people. I would certainly expect 9-year-olds to be able to make themselves a sandwich or some cereal and get themselves a snack as an absolute bare minimum.

As for 'grabbing things that aren't toys' ... well, they're 6 and 9. They're not toddlers.

So, it's not exactly harsh, but if that really is your blanket rule day-to-day, it seems to me as if you're treating them like much younger children than they are.

MrsDustyBusty · 19/01/2017 22:19

You won't let a nine year old in the kitchen? That is unreasonable. How are they supposed to learn to care for themselves?

whyohwhy000 · 19/01/2017 22:20

It's perfectly normal for you to want kids to be out of the kitchen when they are over, but why do you not let your 9 year old use the kettle and cooker?

Original poster

user1477282676 · 19/01/2017 22:23

I should have said...of course I let my own DC cook or bake with help....I just don't let them hang around when there's cooking or boiling things about. I can't cope with the anxiety!

OP posts:

Lazyafternoon · 19/01/2017 22:24

I don't let my DS in the kitchen while I'm cooking, unless he's helping me with something.

I do shoo him out of the kitchen a lot as he he does tend to get under my feet while I'm trying to drain the boiling pan of peas in the sink and that sort of thing. BUT if I'm not cooking/ the cooker isn't on then he can come in. I don't see why not. We have put the knives out of reach, the cupboard with cleaning products has a child latch, anything fragile out of reach.

He'll learn how to cook and be involved in household chores by being involved. He's well behaved enough to not touch the cooker as I've told him not to enough times!

He's 3. At 6 & 9 I'd have thought they should be helping you in the kitchen, learning how to make a cup of tea safely (particularly the older one), can make there own sandwich. Learning about hygiene, tidying up, cleaning up after etc. It's not dangerous if you've taught them how to behave safely.

Original poster

user1477282676 · 19/01/2017 22:24

Also...I do let them make a sandwich or whatever but when their mates are here, there's a lot of silliness.

OP posts:

Meffy · 19/01/2017 22:24

My 9 year old makes himself toast and sandwiches, grabs drinks of juice .... My 5 year old butters and Jan's her own toast. Together we bake. They put dirty clothes in the washing machine and help with their disabled brothers feeding needs by getting water or syringes!
They do their homework in the kitchen, their art work!!!

They wouldn't dream of grabbing at something! They are both competent with shop knifes.

I think you need to let your kids grow up and teach them some life skills!

whyohwhy000 · 19/01/2017 22:25

I should have said...of course I let my own DC cook or bake with help....I just don't let them hang around when there's cooking or boiling things about. I can't cope with the anxiety!

Just to clarify: do you allow your 9 year old to, for example, make a cup of tea by him/herself?

Lazyafternoon · 19/01/2017 22:26

Sorry cross post OP

user1484317265 · 19/01/2017 22:28

Do you think the kettle is going to leap off the counter by itself and pour boiling water over any passing child?
It's pretty weird to be that uptight about it. A few basic safety measures and its not a dangerous place.

arethereanyleftatall · 19/01/2017 22:28

You'd hate my house - open plan kitchen/diner/play room straight on to the garden. Heart of our home. We all spend 90% of our time awake in our house in there.
But, your house, your rules.

BelladiNotte · 19/01/2017 22:30

Ive just one fridge magnet, plonked in the middle of my tall fridge/freezer in my small kitchen which says 'unattended children will be given espresso and a free kitten"
When I had a large kitchen and small children, tho, it was where we did finger painting and making play-do stuff and baking and so on..

Mindtrope · 19/01/2017 22:30

Sorry OP- but I disagree,

I think it is important to have kids around in the kitchen- it's a big education for them.
I am more than happy to let them be around when I am doing potentially dangerous things like draining a big pot of pasta- how else will they learn to do these things themselves otherwise?
It starts by observing, I explain- we talk about boiling water ( I am a scientist so we often have offshoots of conversation), safety, splashes,
They watch me be organised , calm, prepared,
We can talk about scalds, first aid etc.

Kids are not as stupid as you think.

DeleteOrDecay · 19/01/2017 22:38

YANBU to an extent. My dc are 4 and 19mo and I don't let them in the kitchen when I am cooking or cleaning up as they really just get under my feet and start getting silly with each other, it's stressful for everyone. We have a gate at the door which remains closed during these times.

They are allowed in there when we are cooking/baking together and the dining table is in there so we eat meals and they do crafts etc at the table too.

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