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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wake the baby?

26 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 19/01/2017 15:26

Had a lot of advice from feeding board about DS who is a poor sleeper st night. He is 12 weeks and usually sleep 7-10pm but then after that can wake every 1-2 hours to be fed.

We struggle with a day time routine because of going out to classes and activities which make it hard to do the same thing at the same time.

He has had a half hour nap this morning around 10:30 and has now been asleep from 1:15 to 3:30. Shall I wake him? He is going to be cranky as hell later as he won't manage from now until bed at 7pm without another sleep, but there isn't really time to fit in another one later!

Why don't babies come with instruction manuals (that they have read themselves!) so you know what to do with them!

So... do I wake him? Or let him nap for longer as he obviously needs the sleep!

OP posts:

SnotGoblin · 19/01/2017 15:33

They don't come with instruction manuals but they are pretty good at communicating their needs and if he's asleep then that's currently what he needs. He'll wake up and scream at you when he needs something else.

Other opinions may vary but I found it much easier to go with the flow with very small babies. It's less stressful for all concerned.

WowserBowser · 19/01/2017 15:38

I wouldn't wake him. I have a 12 week old and i let her sleep whenever she likes! She is slowly getting her own routine.

She sleeps through but i find good day time naps help this.

Camomila · 19/01/2017 15:39

I'm another one saying just let him sleep/go with the flow at this age.

My DS is 9 months and still has an up to 3h nap in the afternoon in case you are worrying his nap is too long.

(I'd only wake a sleeping baby if poorly/medically advised or if we had to get out of the house for a specific time like to catch a train etc)

mistermagpie · 19/01/2017 15:41

I'm in the never wake a sleeping baby (unless there is a medical reason) camp. If he's asleep its because he needs to be. I still think that 12 weeks is a bit young for a proper 'routine' and went with the flow at that point really.

DS is 18 months and still has a three hour nap sometimes, I just enjoy it!

steppemum · 19/01/2017 15:41

I have 3 dc, and my middle one had the same pattern as your ds. She went down for a good sleep at 7, and if I was lucky she went til 12 or 1, and then awake every 1-2 hours. I tried everything to shift that long sleep til later in the night and couldn't .

In the end I just went with it until she was old enough to not actually need night feed, so about 7 months, fed her at 11 pm and then only offered her water when she woke. First night was hard, then she slept through and became the best sleeper of the 3 of them!
Still loves her sleep.

savagehk · 19/01/2017 15:42

Another who never woke a sleeping baby here. We did cosleep which I think helped sleep wise here.

Soubriquet · 19/01/2017 15:42

Let him sleep

Never wake a sleeping baby if you can help it

Not worth the hassle

WowserBowser · 19/01/2017 15:42

I've just actually got her off to sleep in fact and never wake her.

What we tend to do until an older age is keep her with us. So she will tend to be ready to do a full sleep between 9.30 and 10pm so i let her sleep as much as she wants in the day and then put her in her moses basket at say 10.30pm when we go up and then she sleeps till 8am ish.

Original poster

Aliveinwanderland · 19/01/2017 15:45

Thank everyone!

He is in his car seat as he fell asleep on the way back from a class so I can't really leave him much longer but will give him another half an hour!

I never know what to do for the best with naps to promote good sleep at night.

OP posts:

MrsSkeffington · 19/01/2017 15:45

I'd wake and then put them down for the night at six - hopefully then bringing the feed to ten. If they don't wake I'd dream feed at ten

ditzychick34 · 19/01/2017 15:45

Never wake a sleeping baby, and sleep breeds sleep. Both very true, after a decent nap, night sleeping tends to be easier as they aren't overtired.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 19/01/2017 15:48

I never wake my DS when he's sleeping unless we have to go somewhere. If he needs extra sleep we can work around that. All this fixed routine stuff is not my cup of tea at all.

MrsGB2015 · 19/01/2017 15:48

If you transfer him to his cot from the car seat will he wake up? I don't think it's good for babies to be in their car seat for too long.

SnotGoblin · 19/01/2017 15:49

You can't really 'promote good sleep at night'. Babies that young can't go that long without feeding usually (although one of mine often did sleep through for longer stretches at night from an early age).

Sleeping through for longer periods at night comes with age and weight gain. You just need to tough it out unfortunately .

Original poster

Aliveinwanderland · 19/01/2017 15:51

He is certainly chunky enough- he has piled the weight on, mainly through constant feeding!

I know he isn't meant to be in the car seat for long, he wakes up as soon as I move him though and I was so desperate for a nap myself today I left him in it.

OP posts:

mistermagpie · 19/01/2017 16:02

I think you can promote good sleep at night actually, we really worked hard to get DS napping properly during the day because good daytime sleep euqlled good night time sleep for him. It still does. We used the 90 minute sleep programme (theres a book about it with lots of info about sleep) and I would recommend it, although it's a bit restrictive if you do lots of groups and classes. Saying that, this was when he was a bit older and more in a routine, at 12 weeks they still need to eat at night so there's not much you can do about that!

Original poster

Aliveinwanderland · 19/01/2017 16:03

I have no problem with him eating at night, I certainly don't expect him to sleep through. But waking every 1-2 hours is a killer! Every 3 would be perfect!

OP posts:

eddiemairswife · 19/01/2017 16:09

Are the classes and activities for you or the baby? To my mind 12 weeks is a bit young for that sort of thing, and it would be better to take him for a walk in the pram.

Original poster

Aliveinwanderland · 19/01/2017 16:21

They are classes for baby but to be fair it's mainly to get me out of the house as I don't like being stuck in.

We've been doing them since he was 3 weeks old.

OP posts:

savagehk · 19/01/2017 16:25

I was out the house at groups that early, we were swimming from 1 month.

Original poster

Aliveinwanderland · 19/01/2017 18:57

Well I did probably the worst thing ever- he woke at 4pm, by 5pm he was horrid and screaming the house down so to save my sanity I put him in the pram and went for a walk. He obviously went straight to sleep and slept till 6! Woke up screaming again so have done bath and feed but he now obviously won't go to sleep. DH has just arrived home so has taken him downstairs to play while I have a break.

Today I've had enough. Feel like I've got no idea what I'm doing. DS hates me, he doesn't ever want to be cuddled, he just screams in my face constantly.

OP posts:

savagehk · 19/01/2017 22:18

Ah that sucks. Parenting isn't easy!

I know all babies are different, but I followed the 'if it cries feed it' approach which seemed to work for mine. Will he settle in a baby carrier or sling? Could he have indigestion? Colic? (If so I believe it's normally grown out of by around 3 months so perhaps the worst is over for you.)

SnotGoblin · 20/01/2017 00:39

Yes. My babies have either been asleep, feeding or screaming for a feed. That's pretty much all they do for a while. It's a short while so hang in there.

digitalpaintartist · 20/01/2017 00:54

I have a 4 month old and on the occasions where I haven't followed her lead, she's made me feel like she hates me too. Please try not to feel this way though, you're doing the best you can. I admire your drive to go to classes, that's great! A suggestion might be to try to let DS sleep regardless, he's so young that he doesn't have to be awake for the classes does he? It's more that you're getting you both out of the house. My DD sleeps so much better when I follow her sleep pattern during the day. When I don't, I really feel it at night! My other suggestion is to get a swing if DS sleeps on the go. We have one and DD drops off after only a few minutes in it. I don't leave DD in it for long but for the time I do, I can at least have a breather with a cup of tea. Whatever you decide to do, remember that you're doing the best you can and that it gets easier!

WowserBowser · 20/01/2017 10:57

I personally wouldn't have a bedtime at this age. I know a routine works for some, but 7pm seems early. It make the whole night a lot longer.

I do feel like i spend 95% of my day holding DD but i don't mind. If you want a break get your DH to look after him when he gets in.

It won't last forever. This early stage is so short.

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