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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I deserve an apology

27 replies

Catlady1976 · 18/01/2017 23:23

So dh is a high earner. Used to earn more than 60k so I stopped claiming child benefit. He didn't want to have to complete a tax return.
Back in July 2015 he was out of work for a few months. We didn't claim any benefits as he left of his own volition. I did reclaim child benefit. He fairly soon found work earning approx 59k much to our relief.
Anyway he now has to complete a Tax Return and got quite irate about it. He said me claiming child benefit was a waste of time and I should stop claiming it.
Anyway today he pressed send on his return and we only have to pay back 1/3.
Ainu to have expected an apology and an acknowledgement that I was right to claim it.

OP posts:
citybushisland · 18/01/2017 23:31

You should claim it anyway if you are not working, it gives you protection for the state pension until your youngest is 12, in other words at least 12 years of state pension, more if you have more kids - yes it has to be paid back via his taxes if you are married/living together - but what if you split in the future, he'll have a full pension, will you? The same amount of money will go into the pot so meh! his tax return is his problem.

As to an apology, maybe explain the above to him and see what he says - if you do work then ignore me :)

2rebecca · 18/01/2017 23:52

It sounds like a very formal relationship if you have to expect an apology rather than just say "ner, told you I was right" and smirk patronisingly

aaahhhBump · 19/01/2017 00:00

It pays your national insurance stamp. So you really should

ErrolTheDragon · 19/01/2017 00:02

It would be civil for him to apologise, but filling in tax forms isnt the most enjoyable of tasks so I'd be inclined not to be lenient.

ErrolTheDragon · 19/01/2017 00:03

And yes, you should claim the CB regardless.

LatinForTelly · 19/01/2017 00:29

At the time it changed, I was told by someone in the tax helpdesk thingy that it's a myth about having to do it to protect your pension - it's counted anyway as the state 'knows about' Hmm your children.

But I still do claim, and we pay it back, just as a failsafe.

tigerdriverII · 19/01/2017 00:31

You should claim it anyway. It's an interest free loan from the tax man.

LatinForTelly · 19/01/2017 00:33

oh, just googled, yes you do at least need to make an initial claim so they 'know about' you, for pension purposes.

LadyB49 · 19/01/2017 00:41

I think you get credited with national insurance ( if you are not working) until the child is 16 years.

Don't know if this is dependent on claiming child benefit or not but I'd def be claiming it.

Original poster
Catlady1976 · 19/01/2017 07:05

I think as long as you claim but don't receive your NI is protected.
I suppose me expecting an apology is more about him never wanting to admit he is wrong.
I just felt I deserved an apology because he git so arse with me and actually my action gave us an interest free Loan from the tax man and gained us £1800.
O and the other thing that rankled is that he is always having a go at me for leaving my tax return until the last minute.
Yet it was me who had to bag him to complete it despite mentioning a couple of times that I now receive child benefi.
O and when he told me how much we need to pay back I did say so it was with it and he didn't reply.

OP posts:
Original poster
Catlady1976 · 19/01/2017 07:06

Got and arsey

OP posts:
ailPartout · 19/01/2017 07:07

We have never claimed it. Not to avoid filling out the tax forms but because I feel we don't deserve it. The money would make no difference to us.

I think it should be means tested in general.

What do you want the apology for, because you made some money or because he has a different opinion to you.

Original poster
Catlady1976 · 19/01/2017 07:20

Because he had a go at me and said I was wasting his time.
When clearly I wasn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
Catlady1976 · 19/01/2017 07:23

Just seen all the auto-correct fails in my middle post.

OP posts:
Dashper · 19/01/2017 07:33

I filled out a form saying I wouldn't be claiming. It still counts towards NI but saves repaying and filling out a tax return.

Original poster
Catlady1976 · 19/01/2017 07:36

Yes dash that pretty much what we did initially but even with new how we should get to keep half due to his massive pension contributions so I think over a grand for maybe an hour spent on filling a Tax Return is worthwhile.

OP posts:
Original poster
Catlady1976 · 19/01/2017 07:36

Job not how

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DeathStare · 19/01/2017 07:51

Hang on.... I should be filling out a tax return if I claim child benefit????

Flanderspigeonmurderer · 19/01/2017 07:53

You can "claim" it and not receive the money, so that you still get your pension contributions. I know that doesn't quite make sense but ring hmrc or whichever department deals with it and they can explain.

mum2Bomg · 19/01/2017 07:56

I've been told to claim it even if it needs paying back as it assures your NI contributions and also converts to CB when DC's get older. We earn too much to benefit from it but have been advised this by the health visitor and someone from Citizens Advice.

Flanderspigeonmurderer · 19/01/2017 07:56

From gov.uk website

"You can choose not to get Child Benefit payments, but you should still fill in the Child Benefit claim form. This will help you get National Insurance credits which count towards your State Pension."

mum2Bomg · 19/01/2017 07:56

And if he's being an awkward arse that's a different thing... Smile

JigglyTuff · 19/01/2017 08:01

If you're in full time employment, it's not that onerous to fill out a return. He's being an arse. Men that won't ever admit they're wrong are tiresome

TuckersBadLuck · 19/01/2017 08:12

DeathStare - only if one of the parents earns over £50,000.

Original poster
Catlady1976 · 19/01/2017 08:22

That's what I meant Flanders. I had claimed it for all DC. But when the changes came it I just advised them not to pay me anymore. As far as NI was concerned I was still getting the protection.

OP posts: