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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To just want some sleep

21 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 10/01/2017 02:29

My 11 week old is trying to kill me.

He has never been a great skeeper- always waking every 3 hours all night. However we have now switched to every 60-90 minutes and it's killing me.

He goes down at 7pm, will sleep until 10pm but then every hour to an hour and half after that he wakes and is shouting away until he is fed. Once fed he goes back down again no problem, just wakes up again 60-90 mins later.

Sleep deprivation is killing me. I'm irritable, weepy, can't concentrate and am making daft mistakes all the time.

I just want some sleep! Just 3 hours will do me but I'm finding it really hard to enjoy DS when I'm so exhausted.

OP posts:

Notsleepingeveragain · 10/01/2017 02:40

Do you have anyone to help so you can rest. I gets better. In a few more weeks you suddenly just get used to the exhaustion and it isn't so bad.

My dd woke every couple of hours for 2 years but we are still standing. You will be ok x

Original poster

Aliveinwanderland · 10/01/2017 02:58

Not really. DH is out the house 8am until 6:30pm.

I'm tempted to give up breastfeeding so tbg DH can do some night feeds and we can split the load.

OP posts:

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 10/01/2017 03:05

Could you ask someone to come and sit with him during the day so you can have a nap? Is he breastfed? Obviously they would have to wake you for a feed if he is, but you could get some rest, and if he is on formula they could give him a feed.
Let everything else just go, the housework can wait, order takeaway or an online shop for microwave and tins and just park DS beside you in his cot/basket/pram and sleep every minute he does. It does get easier I promise, but at the time it feels like a torture that will never end!
If you are anywhere near Hartlepool I will come and mind him in exchange for snuggling

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 10/01/2017 03:06

X- post 're breastfeeding

MissVictoria · 10/01/2017 03:15

Is expressing milk an option? That way he's on breast milk but DH could do a feed or two?
It's probably not likely, but could your son possibly have a tongue tie? it can cause issues with latching on properly and feeding properly, and may not be drinking as much as you think and may be why the often waking for another feed.

My own tongue tie was undignosed and my mum was having trouble with me getting enough milk and started supplementing with formula.

SmallBee · 10/01/2017 04:44

If you can express milk or are willing to switch to formula for a couple of evening feeds, then if suggest that you eat right when DH comes home if not before, go to bed by 7/7:30 and DH takes a 'shift' with the baby until 12/1am each night. That way you've got a solid block of sleep under yoyr belt. Its how I survived until DD stopped doing that and slept longer. You don't see your DH much but it's worth it to get through these weeks.

Mouikey · 10/01/2017 04:51

our little one didn't stop feeding - it was a combination of tongue tie, silent reflux and me having low-calorie milk (yep it's a thing!). We top up now with formula and it has helped (as well as having the Tt snipped 😢

It does get better, promise (even though I am feeding and writing this at 4:50am!!!)

Matilda1981 · 10/01/2017 04:52

I used to go to bed when the baby did and get a 3 or 4 hour stretch in from 7-10pm!!

charley3005 · 10/01/2017 05:24

I feel your pain, DD has been awake now for 3 hours, and when she eventually does sleep she is waking every 45 mins! I'm finding it impossible to nap during the day as well! Yesterday broke me, she wouldn't sleep at all between 12/830am constantly screaming, HV was out yesterday who said she thinks she has CMPI so hopefully a change in milk will help, but yes sleep deprivation is torture!!!!

Original poster

Aliveinwanderland · 10/01/2017 05:31

I have tried a formula feed for his 10pm one but it made no difference, will try it again.

I hate expressing milk so am happy for him to have formula every now and again. It takes ages and I find it really tiring.

I don't have anyone that can come and have him during the week as everyone works full time. Got some family coming on Saturday so I can sleep then.

At his 2am feed I changed him half way through and woke him every time he got drowsy so that he took a longer feed. Meant he was then awake until 3:30am chatting and making noise but he went back to sleep eventually and slept until 5:30.

OP posts:

mum2Bomg · 10/01/2017 05:33

Agree with SmallBee - we have a five week old and I have just had to sleep earlier to make sure I can get a chunk of sleep and so function/have some sort of life/leave the house!

Helloitsme87 · 10/01/2017 05:37

My one year old is still like this. I work 30 hours a week and now want to scream. My first Born slept through at 6 weeks

MrsGB2015 · 10/01/2017 05:43

I would go to bed at 7 when the baby sleeps and ask DH to do a bottle at 10. Then when you wake to do the 12 feed you've had 5 hours.
hope you get some more sleep soon!

Ebbenmeowgi · 10/01/2017 06:43

I feel your pain! My 4-week old has been feeding every hour the last few days, I would love just a 2 or 3 hour nap instead of snatching a quick half hour here and there! She sleeps a bit longer in the day in a sling but of course I can't sleep then and dp at work. Hopefully this is just a phase that will pass soon!

splendide · 10/01/2017 06:47

I also used to go to bed at 7 - DH would do wakings till midnight. I didn't do that until about 6 months though, which was when he would go 5 hours without a feed. DS used to do a 2/3 hour nap in the day sometimes if I slept next to him, that kept me sane.

KayTee87 · 10/01/2017 06:59

If he isn't pooing at night time then don't bother to change his nappy, assuming you use disposables of course.
Good suggestion above re going to bed early and taking it in shifts.
One day at the weekends could you stay in bed most of the day and dh brings the baby to you to feed then away again?
Would you consider co-sleeping?

It does get better

Namejustfornappies · 10/01/2017 07:07

Yanbu. Dd1 woke evry 45 minutes untilm9 months old then every 2 hours until 2yo. I am sure it's why I developed post natal anxiety. I regularly hallucinated from lack of sleep.
DS(5 months) used to do every 2 hours but currently wakes every hour. It's a killer. I can't nap with him either as I have a non napping 3 year old, and can't lie in as I have to do School run with the 5 yo.
I have no solution other than nap when you can especially when OH is around.

Allthewaves · 10/01/2017 07:35

is he awake happily chatting to himself in cot? then i'd stick earplugs in and leave him to it. Also i didn't used to feed until there was proper cries as found i was picking up at the slightest little twitches which turned out to be moving and snuffling in his sleep.

every other night go to bed when your baby goes to bed at 7, let dh do 10pm feed - that way you get 4/5hrs unbroken sleep

Artandco · 10/01/2017 07:41

Most babies that young need to cluster feed in the evening.
I wouldn't put to bed at 7pm as then longest stretch is when your awake. Keep him with you in evening and let him nap but feed every hour until 10pm. That way he's getting fed extra at 7,8,9 and 10pm. Then at 10pm take him to bed and that when you want him to start the long 3-4 hour sleep.

At 11weeks I would be aiming to feed him every 90mins-2hrs during the day. Then at night only feed every 3-4hrs. If he wakes between 10pm-7am after just 90mins-2hrs, I would get your Dh to resettle him without a feed. If he's been fed often enough in the day until 10pm, he can then go longer overnight

Original poster

Aliveinwanderland · 10/01/2017 08:13

Thanks everyone.

He is in a cosleeper crib and I put him in next to me during the night if it's easier.

I have tried going to bed at 7pm but I find it really hard to sleep at that time.

When he wakes he doesn't cry, but shouts and shouts until he is fed. If left long enough the shout will become a cry. Once fed he usually goes straight back down but if he has been woken too much by changing he will lie happily in the crib chatting, I just find it hard to sleep because of the noise! Will try some ear plugs!

OP posts:

downwardfacingdog · 10/01/2017 08:25

I would also try feeding him more in the evening. It sounds like he is a little out of synch and cluster feeding in the night instead. My bf babies fed all eve at that age but did go a few hours between feeds at night then. Can you feed lying down? I used to feed lying on my side, latch them on and doze back off. It meant the night feeds were not particularly disruptive. I would be very resistant to switching to formula at night as ff are way more disturbing and you have to properly wake up to do them.

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