To not care about sil wedding

[Whoamiwhatami]

Back story she essentially ruined my wedding by being involved in a brawl that meant my reception was cancelled by the hotel.

Well we've had an invite for her forthcoming nuptials, not posh do just normal registry office, Iceland buffet type of do.

Abu to not really give a shit what we look like and not spend money we don't have on outfits and arrange to meet my mates that drink there and blow out the wedding party?

Tempting but decline

That reads really badly. It is a pub reception that friends drink in.

I wish I could decline but I've managed to avoid one of her get togethers due to other commitments and it won't go down well if I make excuses this time.

Surely after your wedding you don't need excuses?

You sound every bit as classy as your SIL

If her brawl meant your wedding reception was cancelled (in advance? How did they make the connection?) by the hotel, surely it's blindingly obvious why you've no interest in attending her wedding!

Um, no, YABU.

Behave as she should have done. Show up, show that you know it is her special day, be pleasant and happy for the couple.

Show them how it's done and be quietly smug.

Is it your brother or Dh's sister / brother? How would DP feel about you missing siblings wedding?

I think go, smile politely,eave before you get drunk

You shouldn't spend money on it but you should turn up and behave little a civilised adult (unlike her).

MommaGee Using a process of elimination.... There are only two people who can be someone's sister in law. The first is their own brother or sister's wife. The second is their own spouse's sister.

Given that the OP's SIL is not yet married we can conclude it's not the former, so it must be the latter.

So if you decline the invitation it 'won't go down well'?
Do you really care?
Why go and make yourself as bad as her by 'blowing out' the wedding party?
Whilst Jeremy Kyle might be interested in featuring the aftermath of this sort of thing on one of his shows, everyone else will think you're an idiot.

Just decline. Or start a brawl at hers

Your sister in law can also be your spouse's sibling's wife though can't it? (Your BIL's wife). Not in this case obviously, as SIL isn't married, but now wondering if I've been getting this wrong...

Go, but be the first to leave....just a make a point you don't want to be there and are leaving at the first opportunity.

Agree with AddToBasket

I wouldn't go. Fuck her & her finger buffet.

How did she cause your reception to be cancelled? More information needed really.

it won't go down well if I make excuses this time

As its only a finger buffet, accept the invitation for the sake of family diplomacy then have "a sudden attack of D + V" and be laid up in bed for the weekend.

No further explanation needed, it's one of those things what a shame.

How did she cause your reception to be cancelled? More information needed really.

I agree.

I too wonder how she caused your reception to be cancelled

So what happened?

Did you have a reception?

I read it as Op got married, went to reception, SIL kicked off & they all got kicked out!

Hopefully it was in advance & something else could be organised.

I wouldn't try to find an excuse not to attend the reception of a bar brawler. Just decline, she'll know why. Her wedding is even more likely to end in a brawl, her emotions will run higher at her own wedding.

There are only two people who can be someone's sister in law. The first is their own brother or sister's wife. The second is their own spouse's sister. Given that the OP's SIL is not yet married we can conclude it's not the former, so it must be the latter

Only if you stick religiously to 'the rules'

Whilst not technically correct, I called BIL 'BIL' to others for years before dh and I married because it was just easier.

Some people use SIL outside of the dictionary definition. My husbands brother is my Bil but on here would also refer to my unmarried sisters partners as BIL in the context of a wedding rather than keep writing "so my sisters fiancé did xyz"
The point was is it her family SL her choice or is it DH's family and likely to cause a fight

What was the brawl about? That makes a difference

As its only a finger buffet, accept the invitation for the sake of family diplomacy then have "a sudden attack of D + V" and be laid up in bed for the weekend

Or wander along the finger buffet, handling stuff, THEN discover that you've got D&V so they really should chuck the entire buffet in the bin to avoid everyone getting it.
evil