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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say I can cope with 4 toddlers mess

16 replies

judybloomno5 · 08/01/2017 22:58

I am supposed to be going for a walk along the canal with my 2 DS and a friend tomorrow and her 2 DDs. If the weather is bad she's suggested they come to ours.

AIBU to say that I just can't face the mess 4 toddlers leave behind and insist we rearrange? or do I look like a jobs worth? Other mum is lovely and understanding but I have just tided up the whole house this weekend and held a series of play dates prior to xmas (as well as hosting xmas for everyone) and as always, my play room and living room is a pig sty afterwards. I've got plans this weekend and can't face the thought of getting stressed at the end of the week that my house is a tip again.

OP posts:

Pukepukepuke · 08/01/2017 23:00

Nope I think it's fine. Some people will be very critical but at the end of the day it's your decision and if you don't want people in your house and you'd rather not see them than have the house messed up then do it. I've always been honest with people and I'm sure I'm not as good friends with some people because of it but I don't want to be friends with people who don't get me anyway.

babychamcherryb · 08/01/2017 23:01

Yanbu if the weathers bad go to soft play

GloGirl · 08/01/2017 23:06

Really struggle to understand that one 4 DC don't make that much mess, can't you keep on top of it during the visit and then get other Mum to pitch in and tidy it up before she leaves?

I think she was a but rude to invite herself round, she should invite you to her house if anything but I'd hate to have a house that was so tidy I found having people over such hard work.

Although to be fair my house is quite bad and having people over is hard work because I have to tidy it first!

WorraLiberty · 08/01/2017 23:07

What sort of parent takes their toddlers to someone's house and leaves all the mess for the home owner to clear up?

If she's that rude, then YANBU.

Arrange soft play or something.

KathArtic · 08/01/2017 23:11

Have you got a cat or dog??? and a sudden flea infestation? That should keep her away from yours.

Solasum · 08/01/2017 23:16

Shortly before you want them to leave, play the Time To Put the Toys Away game. If your friend is actually a friend, she will take the heat. Even tinies can help tidy up.

Solasum · 08/01/2017 23:17

*hint

Xmasbaby11 · 08/01/2017 23:17

Hmmm, YABU but I understand why. My 2 children (2 and 4) can make a lot of mess, but i think play dates are even messier than normal play as children get more and more toys out! Even having 1 child over ends up with a lot of mess and I do pick my times for that reason.

However, if they are young kids who need watching a lot, someone's house is easier than soft play, and of course a lot cheaper, so I'd probably just do it anyway. We have quite a large house compared to friends and one of the reasons was to be able to invite friends over, so we do it a lot (and tolerate the mess!).

Original poster

judybloomno5 · 08/01/2017 23:30

Last time I had particular kids over I couldn't see the floor for toys that had been pulled out. It seems to be the case whenever I have play dates - though I do have an invite to someone else's this week where I will be helping tidy up!

Seriously its not 'that' tidy, I am by no means house proud but with 4 DC pulling toys out of every box and corner it just looks like a tip by the end and I know I will never get on top of it by the time the in laws visit this weekend.

Everyone seems to be inviting themselves to mine this week- I've just had another text "Perhaps we can come to you or go to soft play".

OP posts:

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 08/01/2017 23:51

YANBU! I am exactly the same. Soft play is your friend, despite the horrors. At least it's term time!

Muppetslikecoco · 09/01/2017 00:01

Do you have an awful lot of toys? YANBU because it's your house and up to you who comes over.

S1lentAllTheseYears · 09/01/2017 00:07

Yanbu.

I almost burst into tears one time when a friend turned up out of the blue to "drop off Christmas presents" and stayed for ages with her manic toddlers! I'd had a huge pre-Christmas sort out and tidy up of my son's room the day before and it was like a bomb site again by the time she left.

At least you have some warning and can decline gracefully. Is she's good friend, she'll understand - perhaps she'll suggest you all go to hers instead

llangennith · 09/01/2017 00:41

Soft play!

Original poster

judybloomno5 · 09/01/2017 00:46

Ugh I hate soft play. Its sticky and over priced where we are. Plus my eldest is 26 months and is still very very clingy so I end up having to 'monitor' her and take her around whilst the other one clings to me like a limpet.

Yes I have a lot of toys. Dolls house, rocking horse, train set on a table, an art corner etc etc. My DM says its like a nursery in our play room. I can follow around my 2 DC but 4 DC... Her DD was literally throwing boxes of toys onto the floor last time and I'd feel like id look a bit neurotic if I was hovering behind them all packing up after them.

I think Ill rearrange and tell her I've got people over this weekend and want to keep the house tidy.

OP posts:

FreddoFrog · 09/01/2017 01:38

Why don't you just hide the big boxes of toys away? If you have train, art table etc that should be enough? I find kids play better with fewer options. So they play for 40 mins, break for a snack for 20 mins, then 20 mins more play, everyone tidy up and then home time. 90 mins max for visit for toddlers - they'll all be getting ratty at the end of that. Surely your kids will make a mess if it's just the two of them anyway??

BIgBagofJelly · 09/01/2017 07:41

Is it not possible to go to hers? I really don't think it's a big deal to say you want to keep the house tidy this weekend as you have guests so you think it'd be better to go to hers/do something else/rearrange the walk for a time it's not raining.

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