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AIBU?

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Original poster

Anxiety. Fuck fuck fuck

26 replies

Jojofeckingbow · 06/01/2017 07:42

Trying to talk myself down here. I have fairly severe GAD. It's raining and I have to go to work. Long commute along nasty roads. Before Christmas holidays my wipers broke in heavy rain with nowhere to pull in. It was terrifying. They are fixed now but this is the first time I have had to drive in the rain since. I've been in tears, throwing up, pacing the floor. Have been out to check the wipers twice. They appear to be working fine. I'm still struggling. I know it will be fine but I'm having the biggest flare up right now. Please tell me it will be OK

OP posts:
Catzpyjamas · 06/01/2017 07:45

It will be fine. Your wipers will be working better than ever now they've been fixed.
Put some happy music on and go for it.

DMnamechanger · 06/01/2017 07:46

That sounds like a horrible experience OP.

I have (managed) anxiety so I can relate a bit.

Go for a walk around the block (if it's not raining too hard!) or a drive around the block and come home. You're anticipating, which is what's making you so ill. It's not surprising given that terrifying experience, but it's the part you need to manage.

TommyandGina · 06/01/2017 07:46

It will be ok. How many times have you driven in rain before and it's been fine?

Take it steady, does your anxiety calm itself once you confront the problem?

Take a big breath, keep calm, do you have any coping techniques you can use?

DMnamechanger · 06/01/2017 07:47

I mean come home to regroup!

Honeyandfizz · 06/01/2017 07:48

YOU WILL BE OK. Honestly I promise you will not die, your anxiety is blowing this out of all proportion. Push through it and distract yourself and soon it will recede. I know, I have been there many times. Say to yourself "this is JUST anxiety" nothing more, it will not harm me, it will pass.

You will be ok x

wundringnow · 06/01/2017 07:51

It'll be absolutely fine! You're a capable driver, you've handled a crisis before and came out unscathed. Try to look forward to being warm, safe and dry at work as you will be soon.

Good luck, I know what anxiety feels like and it's awful.

Original poster
Jojofeckingbow · 06/01/2017 07:52

Thank you. I think once I'm in the car it will be OK.

I only passed my test in the summer after numerous goes. I'm a good driver but anxiety was holding me back. I've almost enjoyed the commute so far, but have been going to work and coming home in the dark, and this is the first winter in some time that I have been off tablets. I'm worse in the winter so I suppose a flare up was inevitable.

I wish it was spring. I wish I could stay at home with my cats. I feel absolutely wrung out and exhausted, I've been up for hours already panicking

OP posts:
Original poster
Jojofeckingbow · 06/01/2017 07:53

But what if the mechanic didn't do a good enough job. It's the first time I've used him. What if what if..... Ugh fuck this to the power of fuck

OP posts:
stumblymonkey · 06/01/2017 08:02

Take some deep breaths....seven seconds in, eleven seconds out.

Then just think about the next small thing....maybe getting ready to leave the house.

Don't think about anything else....only about getting ready to leave the house.

If you start feeling panicked, go back to the deep breathing until you can resume.

Once you're ready to leave pick the next small action to focus on...e.g. leaving the house and locking the door. Take as many deep breaths as you need.

Then pick the next small step (e.g. Getting into the car).

Keep breaking it down into tiny manageable steals and don't think any further ahead than the next thing.

AwkwardSquad · 06/01/2017 08:04

Hi Jojo, think about asking your GP about propanol - it's brilliant for this sort of situation. It calms down the physical aspects of anxiety.

AwkwardSquad · 06/01/2017 08:05

Propranolol! Sorry.

Winteriscominginnit · 06/01/2017 08:08

I find that Kalms help me in these situations. Hope you're feeling a bit better now OP.

enterthedragon · 06/01/2017 08:20

I get where your coming from, similar thing happened to me many years ago, wipers stopped working on a motorway in torrential rain, it was a car that I'd never driven before so I was unfamiliar with it. The solenoid in the wiper motor packed up, got the solenoid replaced, wipers worked fine but I was panicking about driving it again but had to drive it, so I got in the car turned the engine on and just sat watching the wipers going backwards and forwards, the rythmic noise of the wipers was very calming and after a few minutes i was able to drive away, incidentally the wipers still worked fine when the car was sold years later.

stonecircle · 06/01/2017 08:24

When I'm feeling anxious I tell myself that if I've thought of something that could happen then it won't happen. Your wipers broke before when you weren't expecting it. It WON'T happen when you're anticipating it might happen.

Does that make sense? It's one of the reasons I'm such a worrier. I have to think of everything that might go wrong to 'make sure' they don't happen. Bad things are almost always unexpected.

I probably sound a bit odd ......

Original poster
Jojofeckingbow · 06/01/2017 08:41

Thank you all so much

I did it, I made it, I'm sitting in the car park at work now. Going to grab a cuppa asap.

One more brick laid in the wall between me and anxiety meltdown because I did it and it was terrifying but I'm ok.

Thank you all xx

OP posts:
RedStripeIassie · 06/01/2017 08:45

Urgh, hope you feel better soon.
Lots of good advice upthread. Remember it always feels better eventually. That horrible panic doesn't last forever.

enterthedragon · 06/01/2017 08:46

Well done, go get your cuppa

MiniDoofa · 06/01/2017 08:48

Well done OP you should be really proud of yourself for getting thru that. Hope the rest of your day goes ok.

wundringnow · 06/01/2017 08:53

Hey you did it! Well done.

TommyandGina · 06/01/2017 09:05

Well done, we knew you could do it. Now get that cuppa and relax into your day

PotatoVegetable · 06/01/2017 09:23

Well done OP.

stumblymonkey · 06/01/2017 09:23

Well done!!!!

Now I just need to take my own advice...I have quite severe anxiety around work at the moment. I've nearly turned back several times and have now made it into London and to the local coffee shop.

Now for some deep breaths and the walk to the door. I hate anxiety.

I think I may make an appointment to see if there's something I can take for the anxiety in addition to my bipolar meds.

Well done again Flowers

stonecircle · 06/01/2017 10:12

Anxiety is awful but the feeling of elation when you get through something that you've got in a state over is brilliant. Well done op

CarolAird · 06/01/2017 10:33

Well done OP! You did greatSmile

WeedlesHatOfDisappointment · 06/01/2017 10:37

Well done OP!
Don't know if it will help for next time, but one of my coping stratetgies is concentrating on how I'll feel after I've done the thing I have anxiety about.
So, in your case, rather than focus on the wipers not working, I'd imagine myself sat at my desk, with a cup of tea, and the feeling if relief of having done it.
Well done, it's a huge achievement what you did this morning. Keep sticking those 2 fingers up to anxiety!

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