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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My 5 year old thinks I am...

22 replies

YesAnastasia · 04/01/2017 15:19

Because I shouted at him, he came I'm the room & said 'mummy' and gave me the V's, stuck up two fingers!

He knew what he was doing and although (don't tell him) I thought it was a bit funny, I managed to look cross & took away his tablet.

He thinks I'm really unfair. That's punishable right? I've told him I'm going to ask 'the internet'...

OP posts:

Treaclex · 04/01/2017 15:23

Yes it's punishable as long as you didn't give him the bird back otherwise we may have to punish you

xStefx · 04/01/2017 15:25

lol, sorry I cant be any help here as I have my own 4.5 year old with a humungous attitude to deal with but im glad im not alone :-)

wonderingsoul · 04/01/2017 15:28

Tbh you telling him youll ask the internet youv told him you think its funny.

Id expect that attitude from a older kid not a 5 year old. Id look at where hes picked it up from

OneWithTheForce · 04/01/2017 15:29

My 7 year old went through a really awful phase when he was around 3/4 of saying as many as words as he knew and then would flip the bird. It was mortifying. But now at 7 he looks suitably shamefaced on the rare occasions he gets brave enough to call me an idiot. I still pretend I'm angry but inside I am laughing at how much worse it could be!

TiredMumToTwo · 04/01/2017 15:29

Def punishable, I think if you go in with a harsh reaction first time, they know not to do it again. I removed a favourite toy of my then 2.5 year old for swearing at his very shocked grandparents!!

Allthewaves · 04/01/2017 15:30

My 3 year old is telling me to f off when he's cross thanks to his attitude older brother - immediate time out and loss of electronics for a day

OneWithTheForce · 04/01/2017 15:30

As many bad words!

sirfredfredgeorge · 04/01/2017 15:32

Depends how reasonable the shouting at him was - "you started it" seems appropriate here.

So he may or may not have been reasonable to respond in kind.

grannytomine · 04/01/2017 15:36

I think the punishment is reasonable but I don't think you needed to tell him you would ask the internet. Makes you sound like you aren't confident and if the smell weakness................

Servicesupportforall · 04/01/2017 15:37

Maybe he's watching too much internet op.

That's not good from a 5 year old.

Original poster

YesAnastasia · 04/01/2017 15:38

I opened a door not knowing he was behind it (didn't even notice it hit him so soft was the sound...) so he slammed the door onto me hard, the handle hit my arm. I shouted.

He's just been to apologise but was using a silly voice then laughed. Sent him away until he is seriously sorry. I'm feeling like it's gone a bit far now.

OP posts:

Original poster

YesAnastasia · 04/01/2017 15:39

He doesn't watch the Internet lol

OP posts:

smellyboot · 04/01/2017 15:57

if hes at school it will have come from there... common ime and yes punish or they think its funny. Hes only 5

Original poster

YesAnastasia · 04/01/2017 16:29

He's apologised and said he didn't think it was a bad finger swear, just the opposite of 'peace man'. Haha, it's too cute. I've given him his tablet back.

OP posts:

Servicesupportforall · 04/01/2017 16:35

He slammed the door hard on your arm?

Allthebestnamesareused · 04/01/2017 16:46

It's not cute!

wonderingsoul · 04/01/2017 17:39

Hr still knew it was rude... oppersit of peace man... is still a negative hurtfull thing he was trying to say.
.it really isnt cute.

Original poster

YesAnastasia · 04/01/2017 22:26

Haha, I thought it was cute. I actually don't know what it means, maybe he's right!

Also he's been a little angel until now, he's testing boundaries at the moment. Ds1 is Autistic so ds2 has always been the sensitive, sensible, sweet one. That's also the reason I never really know how to use punishments meant for NT kids - I've never used them in 8 years of parenting!

Anyway, we're all good now. Thanks for the back up

OP posts:

cherrycrumblecustard · 04/01/2017 22:27

It really isn't cute, it's pretty horrible behaviour

Fuckingnamechanged · 04/01/2017 22:52

I think swearing was pushing the boundaries but he's been violent towards you by slamming the door on you. I think it's time he had a serious chat about why we don't slam doors and how much he could have hurt you.

Fuckingnamechanged · 04/01/2017 22:55

But I also think whatever you do at this age will be unreasonable. My for year old always thinks I'm unreasonable. He's so used to pushing back at me I offered him a milkshake and he threw a tantrum for about two seconds before he realised what I'd actually said. I also think it's better to explain to kids that swearing offends people and not to make a big deal out of it. As a kid the naughtiness was the thing that made it cool. People ignoring me mostly and asking me not to do it made it boring and I stopped. Unless it was at a sibling in which case you made it look like you were itching your face whilst flipping your sister off.

Original poster

YesAnastasia · 06/01/2017 16:56

I don't think the door or the swearing was cute but his explanation and the apology was. Plus you should see him

We have had a discussion about violence etc, we often have to because Ds1 is very violent when he has meltdowns. Anyway, Ds2 is still on the spectrum slightly and struggles with a few things. He feels injustice (against himself ) keenly.

The 'finger swear' has def come from school & more from Ds2's friends. There is a worse 'finger swear' that they do in China apparently...

fucking name lol at the milkshake & scratching your face! I still give my dad the finger from behind doors at my age. (no that's not where DS got it from...)

OP posts:

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