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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend was a little insensitive

38 replies

Catlady1976 · 27/12/2016 13:38

And wrong
So a year or so ago I experienced dome changes in bowel habits and I was referred for a colonoscopy. Thankfully all was fine.
Now my friend has had similar symptoms and has also been referred. She did alot of research and decided to forgo the test. All fine.
However she has cited one reason for refusing the test is that the equipment is sterilized using disinfect which is considered carcinogenic.
Aibu to think this is insensitive even if there is any truth in it which I doubt.

OP posts:
MadHattersWineParty · 27/12/2016 13:40

Why do you think it's insensitive? Because you had the test?

ShadowMane · 27/12/2016 13:40

Why is it insensitive?

BIgBagofJelly · 27/12/2016 13:41

I think it depends how she said it and how it came up. If you were discussing it and you asked or it naturally came up for her to justify why she wasn't getting it done then it seem fair enough. If she deliberately approached you with her "research" that it was carcinogenic than that does seem a bit insensitive.

P.S. doesn't sound like you actually have much to worry about so hopefully you're not stressed out about it.

BusterGonad · 27/12/2016 13:41

I'm not sure what the problem is? You had one, she hasn't, who's the one that knows they are healthy?

Bloodybloodyheckers · 27/12/2016 13:42

It's not insensitive sorry.

It is fairly thick to worry about something that is probably wrong Vs ignoring an issue that could kill her if that makes you feel better?

SnatchedPencil · 27/12/2016 13:42

No, on the evidence you've given she's not being "insensitive" - she's just telling you why she has chosen not to have the test.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 27/12/2016 13:42

W/o extensive elaboration, YABU.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 27/12/2016 13:42

For goodness sakes. I'm sorry OP but what is the point in taking offence over something like that? She doesn't want to have the test for her own reasons - they may be hocus pocus reasons but they are her reasons. It's nothing to do with you so I don't understand how you could find it insensitive to you?

JustSpeakSense · 27/12/2016 13:43

YABU

Nocabbageinmyeye · 27/12/2016 13:44

More a case of you being too sensitive I think op, sorry

PNGirl · 27/12/2016 13:45

It would only be insensitive if she implied you got it done blindly and unwisely, in an "If you'd bothered to research you'd know this" way.

Original poster
Catlady1976 · 27/12/2016 13:47

OK maybe I am just oversensitive. It was just that she knew I had had the test and I felt it odd to say I couldn't possibly have it as they use disinfectant which is carcinogenic so if I got cancer I would wonder if the colonoscopy caused it.
Saying that to someone who had had said test felt insensitive.

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 27/12/2016 13:48

You are being over sensitive

I'm sure the medical team weigh up the risks and benefits before offering such procedures

Original poster
Catlady1976 · 27/12/2016 13:50

I told her about the test to help her as she was anxious. It was left at that. On other occasion she said she was feeling better and had decided not to have test. I was perfectly fine with thus. I did not seek any reasons why?

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 27/12/2016 13:50

The procedure looks for cancer, so if she's not having it due to worrying about the disinfectant then I'm sorry but she's the fool! I've had one and I'm bloody glad I did, my only worry was the risk of bowel perforation!

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 27/12/2016 13:51

You are being waaayyy over sensitive OP.

I know of people that haven't had tests that I have. They made their choice as I made mine

Original poster
Catlady1976 · 27/12/2016 13:53

I am not worried at the moment as I know my symptoms are not caused by anything sinister.

OP posts:
Crumbs1 · 27/12/2016 13:55

You are being ridiculous.
Your friend is wrong ntp.niehs.nih.gov/ntp/htdocs/lt_rpts/tr490.pdf
There is no evidence to suggest the sterilising fluids are carcinogen

lljkk · 27/12/2016 13:58

It sounds very English, don't tell someone something because they might worry about it. otoh, if you did get cancer, you might be more settled to have an explanation why.

britbat23 · 27/12/2016 14:01

Your friend is an idiot.

Original poster
Catlady1976 · 27/12/2016 14:07

Tbh I didn't believe it to be true. I guess we have different personalities. She is far more forthright and has strong opinions on certain things is is quite happy to share those opinions. She has also given me lots of reasons why my dds shouldn't have hpv vaccine.
Well clearly IABU as I am oversensitive.

OP posts:
KnittedBlanketHoles · 27/12/2016 14:13

otoh, if you did get cancer, you might be more settled to have an explanation why.

If the OP's friend had an attitude like this then it isn't insensitive but it is pretty stupid and rude to suggest that it would be the OP's 'fault' if she got cancer, because she'd had tests (which wouldn't cause cancer).

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 27/12/2016 14:17

If it were my friend, I would urge her to take her doctor's advice and have further testing. It is foolish to not follow a medically trained professional's advice. A doctor would not refer her for further tests unless he thought it necessary.

I'm not sure where you friend has done her "extensive research". There is a hell of a lot of bullshit online quite frankly.

The procedure you are talking about has been trialed and tested and would not be available if it "caused cancer." Far more research has gone into it than your friend's 'research'. Confused

Ironically, the test is to rule out cancer and could save her life or save her from having part of her bowel removed and a colostomy bag for life.
Please try to persuade her to take her doctor's advice. Just because you had a negative result with similar symptoms, doesn't mean she is in the clear.

UnicornInDMboots · 27/12/2016 14:19

Oh just ignore her

Original poster
Catlady1976 · 27/12/2016 14:27

I suppose my fear is that if I was unlucky enough to get cancer the future than she might say "well you did have that colonoscopy x years ago"
She hasn't lost weight and her symptoms have settled down but I think she has a Gp appointment next week. I may ring her to find out how it went

OP posts:
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