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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH has used the cards I picked out.

24 replies

youdialwetile · 25/12/2016 05:15

Every year I buy the kids a Christmas card and DH and I sign them. I also get one for him (from me). Usually he gets me a card but last year he forgot and made a big song and dance about how he did not get me a card. Anyway, tonight I was looking for the bag with the ones I bought this year and asked DH if he'd seen them. He's just told me he thought I picked them out for the kids to give to me...and he's used the one I got for him to send to me from him too. WHY? I know it's not really important but I think it's so odd he thinks I would spend time picking out cards for myself. Who does that?

OP posts:

AngelaKardashian · 25/12/2016 05:38

An odd thing for him to do, but I'd let it go. It's Christmas after all.

Dafspunk · 25/12/2016 05:40

Sigh.

That's all I can say, sorry.

seven201 · 25/12/2016 05:47

Such a plonker

Ditsy4 · 25/12/2016 06:01

At least you'll have a lovely card since you picked it. It is the arsy sort of thing DH might do. Lazy!

BowiesJumper · 25/12/2016 06:31

What a plonker.

tsonlyme · 25/12/2016 06:57

Actually that would really annoy me and it's exactly the sort of thing why I'm divorcing mine. It's not the use of the cards but the lack of thought or planning, thinking that the more tedious things in life are wifework so not bothering himself and expecting it to be done by the women.

This year I saw stbxh using wrapping paper bought by our daughter so things obviously haven't improved 🙄

It's easy to say that it's only a card but it's the bigger picture that's so galling.

DeepanKrispanEven · 25/12/2016 07:12

So what's his explanation for that? Why on earth would he think you would buy your own card from him?

saoirse31 · 25/12/2016 07:15

Oh come on its Christmas, is it really that big a deal that he used... well unused Christmas cards in the house, to send you a Christmas card?? Not really getting the anger tbh.

AtSea1979 · 25/12/2016 07:18

That would bother me but then I like cards with thoughtfully chosen words. Some people just don't see cards as important.

Original poster

youdialwetile · 25/12/2016 07:21

He doesn't really have an explanation. Seems like he genuinely thought he was doing the right thing, and is acting hurt now I am annoyed. I've told him to wake up and think things through next time. And yes, the idea I would buy a card for him to send to me is just baffling. Like I do all the effort and he gets all the brownie points for adding the flourish of his signature. I know it's not a big deal in the grand scheme, but it is an ominous bellwether for what he thinks should be expected of both of us. But sigh.

OP posts:

peaceloveandbiscuits · 25/12/2016 07:25

Next time, buy an ostentatiously labelled "to my bastard husband" card. No chance of a mix up.

saoirse31 · 25/12/2016 07:27

Ah I see ur point, yep am inclined to be unimpressed with him esp as he knows its important to you. Could be tho that he rely doesn't see the imp of cards which is v possible and not wholly unreasonable..

Anyway, havw a good day and I guess have talk after Christmas about expectations etc

Original poster

youdialwetile · 25/12/2016 07:34

Well it's 2:30am here and my 3-year-old has just thrown up on me, so it's going to be an interesting one this year!

OP posts:

sueelleker · 25/12/2016 07:57

I always buy a 'Husband' card, so he couldn't really send it to me!

raviolidreaming · 25/12/2016 08:04

he's used the one I got for him to send to me from him too

The ones for the kids I can maybe understand, but this is ridiculous!

Ditsy4 · 25/12/2016 08:06

That's the way to go next time. I haven't bothered! Probably find. He has this year.

mysistersimone · 25/12/2016 08:21

This would piss me off big time. I think its an indicator for the bigger picture though, I am very unhappy in my marriage. If you adored one another you may have laughed it off.

DontFundHate · 25/12/2016 08:49

Aah sorry but this would make me laugh! What a silly billy!!

Is there something of his you can write on to continue the joke?

MatildaTheCat · 25/12/2016 09:09

Haha, I'm such a choosy cow that I'd be delighted to have my own choice of card up in fact I have .

Merry Christmas.

hefzi · 25/12/2016 12:20

My parents have - not for the first time - independently picked out the same card for each other this year. I'm always mystified by the fact my dad, who's very unreconstructed, manages to buy gifts and cards, cook meals and generally participate in the running of the household (and has done since the 60s) when much younger men, growing up since the first wave of feminism, fail so utterly. Totally understand your disappointment, OP - what a fool...

peaceloveandbiscuits · 25/12/2016 12:31

Good point hefzi. I was lucky in that my own dad was so hands on with us as babies and took on 50% of the hard work. I wouldn't have put up with anything less from my husband.

Jinxxx · 25/12/2016 21:35

This wouldn't happen in our house as we don't send each other cards. I think of Christmas cards as keeping in touch with friends and family we can't see over the holiday.

NicknameUsed · 25/12/2016 21:51

Why do you buy cards for people you live with?

Original poster

youdialwetile · 26/12/2016 00:58

I suppose I've always classed Christmas as a bit like like birthdays, so everyone gets a card picked out for them.

OP posts:

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