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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give presents to DC's teachers?

68 replies

SerialReJoiner · 16/12/2016 17:58

Primary aged dc have lovely teachers. I don't want to offend, but it just honestly didn't occur to me to buy something for them. Should I get something? What??

I would honestly rather give them a nice card with a note saying how much I appreciate their hard work with my dc this year so far.

OP posts:
Allthewaves · 16/12/2016 18:02

I hink a card with a thoughtful message is fine

ilovesooty · 16/12/2016 18:02

I think that's fine and would be much appreciated.

00100001 · 16/12/2016 18:03

the card will do.

if you get them a gift I'd avoid smellies and chocolates. vouchers would be best.

Our staff room is full of 'rejected' presents at the end of term for others to take home.

Joolsy · 16/12/2016 18:04

I don't really understand why teachers get presents at Christmas, just for doing their job. I haven't bothered getting a present this year, we just gave a card. I work as a TA in a college and never get anything, but I wouldn't expect it either. I'm sure most teachers don't expect anything

wobblywonderwoman · 16/12/2016 18:07

A nice card would be lovely. I would buy a small gift as a token or leave it and get something in July

Pilgit · 16/12/2016 18:08

I don't either. I appreciate everything they do and they are brilliant! But we do a collection for vouchers at the end.of the year and I'd rather give to that so they get something meaningful. Also there's only.so many boxes of chocolate or smellies one person can use. DD usually does a picture or writes a letter.

Brightbluebells · 16/12/2016 18:09

I have been a teacher for 20 years. I never expect presents. If I get a few, then I am grateful but I would hate to think that any parent or child would be worrying about not getting one. I do always love receiving a message, either at Christmas, or any other time which makes me feel like I am doing a worthwhile job.

Don't worry or overthink it; just do what suits you. I promise you that teachers do not judge parents on presents. I do judge whether parents smile at me when I smile at them but that could just be me!

Original poster
SerialReJoiner · 16/12/2016 18:09

They really have achieved a lot with my 6yo DD especially this year, so I'll do a card and note. Good idea to leave off a gift til the end of school year. Less pressure a week before Christmas is always a good thing!

OP posts:
NickNacks · 16/12/2016 18:09

Vouchers? Hmm

MrsKCastle · 16/12/2016 18:10

I would honestly rather give them a nice card with a note saying how much I appreciate their hard work with my dc this year so far.

Yes, this is absolutely perfect. A thoughtful, sincere comment will be remembered and appreciated.

I've had a tough time in teaching, left my old job for various reasons and was wondering whether to give it all up. Last summer, after being in my new school for a year I had several thank you cards where parents had told me how much impact they felt I'd had on their child's learning. Believe me, it meant so much to me.

DesolateWaist · 16/12/2016 18:11

I'm a teacher and I can promise you that a card with a few nice words will mean so much more than a box of chocolates.

00100001 · 16/12/2016 18:12

nick whats wrong with vouchers? Confused

joolsy do you wonder the same about nurses?

00100001 · 16/12/2016 18:12

we get biscuits and chocolates every year from the senior management... all we do is our jobs...

CwtchesAndCuddles · 16/12/2016 18:14

My dc goes to a special school, there are 6 children in the class, one teacher and four TAs, they don't expect gifts and would say a card with a "thank you " is more than enough but they all go so far beyond just doing their job that I like to give them all something. This year it was home made mince pies hot from the oven and a bottle of wine each, class teacher also had a Starbucks voucher as she is amazing !
Due to the nature of the school parents tend to build up a close relationship with the staff and they do get a lot of gifts at Christmas and the end of the year!!!

dementedma · 16/12/2016 18:14

I don't do teacher gifts and never have.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 16/12/2016 18:18

"I don't really understand why teachers get presents at Christmas, just for doing their job."

I used to be a nurse, and sometimes patients would buy some chocolates or biscuits for the nurses, when they were discharged. We didn't expect it - like the teachers, we were just doing our job, but it was nice to be appreciated.

I think pretty much everyone likes to feel appreciated, and teachers are no different - but that doesn't have to mean a present.

Original poster
SerialReJoiner · 16/12/2016 18:19

CwtchesAndCuddles sounds like a lovely school. :)

OP posts:
LeadPipe · 16/12/2016 18:21

We always did class rep took a donation then bought vouchers and split it between the classroom teacher/TA.

chickenowner · 16/12/2016 18:21

I'm a teacher...

A card with a nice message is absolutely fine, and I'm sure it will be appreciated. It's always touching when children write in the cards themselves too - although I'm an early years teacher so children in my class writing something is more of a big deal than for older children!

Mistoffelees · 16/12/2016 18:23

I second the thoughtful note idea. It was our last day today and my favourite present was a hat a girl had made me from some left over wrapping paper and stickers.

MrsMattBomer · 16/12/2016 18:24

I don't really understand why teachers get presents at Christmas, just for doing their job.

Because we are treated as babysitters, expected to break up fights, remember every single thing ever told to us about every child ever, expected to remember every strength and weakness, we're expected to give them all our undivided attention, we're expected to discipline them and praise them in equal measures. We also get shouted at, abused and insulted, by kids and parents, and god forbid if a student doesn't get an A* even if they're not capable of it or have shown no effort at all. Multiply all of this by 200 kids.

Do you not think all of that is worth a 3 quid box of chocolates?

NickNacks · 16/12/2016 18:26

Vouchers are more expensive, at least £10. I think that's quite greedy.

LeadPipe · 16/12/2016 18:32

Do you not think all of that is worth a 3 quid box of chocolates?

I certainly do! I was glad that the other parents felt the same and were able to give towards a nice monetary gift to the teachers. I always saw it like a small Christmas bonus as it was universal across the school at Christmas and end of year. I recognise that not everyone can afford to donate though.

MrsHathaway · 16/12/2016 18:33

Nice card with note is lovely. Nice email cc the head teacher is good too.

DS2's class TA stopped me to thank me for what I'd written in her card this week.

I think most people in most professions would rather have a thoughtful note than a last-minute box of Roses, if it's either/or.

LittleBooInABox · 16/12/2016 18:35

I'm getting my sons teacher a card and a bottle of wine that says, because my child is probably the reason you drink :)

I will write in the card a huge heartfelt thank you! Because she has gone above and beyond for DS this year and the TA will get something two because she makes time for DS every day to help him and give him the extra time he needs! Which can't be easy with their schedule!

So I will be, even if it ends up in the rejected pile in the office! They'll know that I admire and am thankful for all they have done! That's the point of Christmas :)