Was I unreasonable to

[unicornpoopoop]

Have another thread about husband having an emotional affair - finally confronted it and had a big long drawn out conversation about our relationship and what's going wrong and why he needed the attention etc etc etc.

Now I can't sleep. And I've messaged the OW to tell her I know and to tell her I have no problem letting her husband know...

Now I know my husbands in the wrong - not ignoring that at all, am dealing with that. Don't need a LTB lecture.

But was I wrong to message her?

She was having an affair with a married man and being unfaithful to her own husband, damn right she should know you know what kind of woman she is!

Personally i'd also tell her husband. I know a lot of people would say not to, but if it were me, i wouldn't want to be in the dark about a spouses cheating, be it physical or emotional. If some other guy found out my partner was having even an emotional affair with his partner, i'd want them to tell me. That way i know and can decide for myself if i can forgive, work on the relationship, or end it. It would hurt me even more (if thats actually possible) to find out way down the line and know somebody could have saved me all that time i wasted.

I've never had a reply so quick in my life - it was literally seconds.

Lots of sorrys, she never meant to hurt me, and she'll never contact either of us again.

It feels good at least to know she's shitting it

My ex husband had several affairs. I really was the last one to know, despite voicibg my suspicions previously.

I will always be grateful to the person that had balls of steel and phoned me to make me aware of what he had been upto