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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go and punch my DH?

31 replies

judybloomno5 · 04/12/2016 23:41

Slightly tongue in cheek.

12 week old screaming with colick for 90 mins. Inconsolable. DH sleeps in the spare room on week nights. How can he sleep through this? She's even woken our 2 year old up. I want to go in and punch him awake.

Jealous as he's got a 60 minute journey tomorrow when he can listen to the radio and get a drive be thru Costa if he wanted. When did my life come to this?

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 04/12/2016 23:45

Oh dear - poor little mite & poor you. Colic is a nasty bastard.

As for DH. I think I'd feel a bit like you, but also pleased he can sleep through it so I'm not worrying about him being too tired behind the wheel & getting more stressed at not being able to stop the baby crying.

Original poster
judybloomno5 · 04/12/2016 23:46

That's the thing. Don't want him having an accident or injuring someone at work (medical job) - doesn't stop me from wanting to punch him. I won't though of course.

OP posts:
user1477282676 · 04/12/2016 23:48

YANBU of course.

What's the baby doing currently?

Eminado · 04/12/2016 23:48

Been where you are - what are you using for the colic?

Is the baby windy?

DearMrDilkington · 04/12/2016 23:49

I used to sleep through dd crying a lot when she was a babyBlush. Luckily dp always heard her and gave me a few nudges when it was my turn to get up.

I'm just a very deep sleeperBlush.

AllPartOfThePlan · 04/12/2016 23:51

I feel you! I used to get so jealous of exDH that he could just sleep through it all. My youngest had colic and it was tough. I had a routine of singing songs and doing exercises with her to try and shift things and distract her. He didn't actually do a night shift at all for the first 18 months and even when he did as my Christmas present (WTF??? Hmm) I still had to get up and deal with her as he didn't have a bloody clue what he was doing and she was screaming for ages! Even in the spare room trying desperately to ignore it and let him deal with it I couldn't do it and made me even angrier that he could every night. The colic days do pass though, hang in there!!!

AmeliaJack · 04/12/2016 23:51

Don't punch your DH (obviously) but you have my utmost sympathy re the colic.

Both my twins had dreadful colic for four months. My DH could sleep through both of them screaming in the same room.

He was very good about getting up to help if woken by me but seemed to be able to sleep blissfully through the din.

FlowersChocolate

Original poster
judybloomno5 · 05/12/2016 00:07

I'm using the tiger in the tree hold and infacol. Gripe water is useless (DH says they used to put gin in it?!) and dentanox doesn't work. DH says no actual evidence any of them works but I'm desperate- had to 'take 5' earlier and let her scream. I used Colief for baby 1 but it's so fiddly to prepare.

She's sleeping again. DH came in looking v disheveled, gave her a warm bottle, she took 2 sucks and fell asleep.

She spent 30 mins on my breast intermittent screaming and sucking. She generally screams blue murder until about now and then passes out

OP posts:
YeOldMa · 05/12/2016 00:20

Are you sure it is colic and not silent reflux or a milk intolerance. You could try lifting the head end of her cot up as gravity helps. I had to do this with all of mine or they screamed for lengthy periods. The HV also suggested that I I let them sleep on their lhs until they were settled and then turn them on to their stomach later. Poor baby and poor you x

Original poster
judybloomno5 · 05/12/2016 03:15

She barks and coughs, arches her back and pulls her knees up. She seems to have a lot of saliva as well 😑 Might speak to HV on Tuesday

OP posts:
IndieBamBindi · 05/12/2016 06:04

Sounds more like silent reflux

DidILeaveTheGasOn · 05/12/2016 06:11

Wow, that really does sound like silent reflux, my daughter had that, it was really tough going. Fingers crossed things improve for you and the little one quickly.

MrsMontgomerySmythe · 05/12/2016 06:30

My son had silent reflux and we raised the bed which helped.

You may need something from the doctor to help her.

DS is now 16 so I can't remember what I was prescribed.

I bf him for a year and he also did the feed/cry/feed routine.

Against my initial wishes I ended up giving him a dummy. This meant he could suck (which seemed to comfort him) without constant/over feeding which just caused more stress and reflux.

Worked like magic Smile

Took a long long time to wean him off it but heh ho I think it was worth it.

StarlingMurderation · 05/12/2016 06:41

Sounds like silent reflux to me too. We got DS on ranitidine which helped, and on neocate which helped more (except he didn't like the taste as much as Aptamil so he never drank a full bottle).

StarlingMurderation · 05/12/2016 06:43

Also (and I'm not saying you should do this as it goes against all the guidelines), we allowed DS to sleep on his tummy from about 3 months, and that made a big difference. He slept through for the first time ever, the first time we let him sleep on his front.

amysmummy12345 · 05/12/2016 06:47

Silent reflux, ranitidine is you're friend seek medical advice obviously, I'm not a doctor Flowers

Original poster
judybloomno5 · 05/12/2016 06:53

Thank you.

FIL is doctor and said colic. I'll try my own GP. I was trying to give her a dummy last night but she was spitting it out- any advice on getting her to take it?

Would gaviscon help her?

This has come on relatively suddenly she's been fine for weeks.

OP posts:
TeenageCentaurMortificado · 05/12/2016 06:56

Also had to allow Tummy sleeping due to silent reflux here. Usually during the day with me checking his breathing every 5 seconds watching him like a hawk. Only thing that helped.

Original poster
judybloomno5 · 05/12/2016 07:03

Wow!!!!!!!! Fed her and put on her tummy and she's gone out like a light, making wimpering noises. I'll wait until she's fast asleep and will turn her back.
I'm an 80s child and was put on my front. Can't sleep on my back now even at 33!

OP posts:
norbert23 · 05/12/2016 07:04

Silent reflux / colic is awful! My friends baby had colic which magically disappeared at 12 weeks but our colic turned out to be silent reflux caused by a milk intolerance, cut out dairy and then had a very happy baby! It's tough so make sure whatever happens that you ask for a bit of support and help from whoever you have available xx

eggyface · 05/12/2016 09:21

GPS generally know f all about silent reflux I'm afraid and unless your FIL is a specialist I'm not sure how he would tell the difference either. if your baby is in pain and you have a feelinh things are awry, get a referral asap, ideally to a consultant specialising in paediatric gastric stuff.

For reflux, first stage will be the gp offering you gaviscon which won't do any good. Raising the bed and giving a dummy helps but doesnt solve. Next treatment is ranitidine which is very weight sensitive so the dose needs to change often. This might do some good but with bad reflux won't hold it for long. Then the standard is omeprazole and possibly early weaning, which sometimes works and sometimes makes it worse.

However some of the more forward thinking consultants are now saying they reckon the whole thing is allergy driven. So you should cut milk soy and wheat from your diet (sorry!) And possibly trial non milk formula such as nutramigen or if that doesn't work, neocate. I'd cut out the allergens before giving my baby the strong medication but you'll have to do your own research and if it's bad do both!

A very few consultants are doing an excellent treatment involving antihistamines (which worked for us so i love it). But it's not standard and you'd likely need to go private to Great Ormond St or similar.

I am not a doctor myself but my boys and nieces had this very badly so I've done lots of research. I think my advice is basically good if your baby has galloping silent reflux - but i really hope it's just a touch of colic for you!

DrunkenUnicorn · 05/12/2016 09:28

Feel for you OP.

Sounds similar to my ds who has silent reflux. His was all day and night but worse at night, wanted to be upright all the time.

I cut out dairy which helped a lot but not completely. He was then on gaviscon, ranitidine and now losec. The losec is working. I've also cut out gluten in the last month and that has helped even more. He was getting really constipated and awful awful wind. That's now settled.

Definitely get down to the gp and don't get fobbed off. I've seen three different ones on our back and forth trips to get dose and combinations right. Two were very supportive and one v dismissive and I think would have tried to fob me off as colic/age related fussing.

Good luck, it's so hard but hopefully when you get diet/drugs sorted you'll all be much happier

DidILeaveTheGasOn · 05/12/2016 10:31

Eggyface, I wish I'd had you when my daughter was small. That is all so useful. Reflux is so misunderstood and taken so lightly, yet as an adult during pregnancy I struggled with acid reflux so much that I would throw up and was in a fair bit of discomfort, no way would I leave a baby to feel like that! At least as a grown up I could rationalise how I was feeling and, crucially, take anti acids to help. I don't know why they don't take it more seriously.

Imnotaslimjim · 05/12/2016 11:04

Poor you and poor little babe! My DS was like this. No allergy or intolerance but he had terrible reflux. He has hypermobility though and apparently the 2 can be connected.

You've had lots of advice on here, there really isn't anything I can add other than an understanding of your frustration. Flowers Brew Chocolate

FireSquirrel · 05/12/2016 11:18

Air horn. Right next to his ear.