To not arrange xmas meet up

[FluffyEwok]

Hello i have a friend who i always arrange to meet with over xmas but i just cant face it.
Shes so negative and the conversation is often flat. She has a young child and her dh works long hours. I do think shes isolated bt when we meet its constant moaning ie shes tired, she may as well be single etc shes been given offers of support but declines them all. I probably sound horrible but aibu to not make any effort to see her?

wouldn't do this over xmas, it would be a damp squib but perhaps before meet for coffee or the like, she sounds lonely and probably feels like a single parent, sometimes it is difficult to accept offers of help, esp as she is under motivated and probably is tired if she has full time child care. she needs a caring friend, i can see why you get fed up but try at least one more time.

Hi pip thanks for your reply its just weve had the same conversation for 2 years everytime we meet

ah, see what you mean fluffy, is there anyone else you can rope in to join you, it might lighten the load a bit ?

Maybe she desperately needs a change of scene, where do you usually meet up? Why not say that the two of you can get dressed up, wear make up, jewellery, high heels etc and go to a nice bar. I mean you don't even have to spend too much, you. can get drunk beforehand in a pub but end up at a really cool bar with a good view. Sometimes, if it's been that long, you can forget to have fun. What drew you to her as a friend in the first place? Maybe she just needs a little reminding that she can still have fun and is still her own person.

Fluffy - does she ever make the effort to organise meeting up at Christmas, or is it just left for you?

TBH, I would leave it and see if she makes the effort, and if she doesn't, then you don't need to either.

Its left to me. We cant go to a bar as she wont leave her child with anyone x

Anyone else worried they're the OP's mate?

Oh that's tough then, not quite the same at home..

Saucy ...yes...

maz get the drinks in ! fluffy how about soft play, playground ? something may be to get her out of the four walls,
failing that is this a friendship you can sustain or has it come to the end of it's natural course if you are doing the running ? if it's not making you happy or it's a struggle to make the effort perhaps it's best to call time on it.

Saucy jack

OP I take it you don't have kids?

I used to find all of my parent friends a massive yarn before I had children.

Kids literally suck the fun and games out of your life I'm only half joking
So maybe cut her some slack and let her moan for a few mins, then give her a cocktail and insist on a child free conversation. She will probably appreciate it.

I just think.its run its course. Thanks ladies xxx