AIBU - most mums at most toddler groups - SHUT UP!

[meladeso]

Every single tot/toddler group I've been to (think sport/music/whatever) most of the parents sit around the edges of the space and rabbit on non-stop for the entire time. Not quietly, at regular volume.

Don't get me wrong, I know we're all desperate for adult company etc, etc, and it's a chance to catch up / make friends and so on, but jesus I don't know -

a) how the "teachers" put up with trying to compete over that racket, to get the little monsters ones to follow even the most basic of instructions. I'd go insane. They cannot possibly hear themselves think and have to constantly shout and repeat themselves.

b) how anyone expects their child to learn to listen to the above, to actually participate in the class or whatever it is, to understand they're supposed to pay attention to the adult in charge, and not think they too can just talk through and over everyone else.

I find it so infuriating - it's so so rude to the "teacher" and so unhelpful to the children. I know these are not classrooms, and they're supposed to be fun, but seriously, I think it spoils it.

Is it just me being uptight...?! Please tell me I'm not alone in this...

Is it just me being uptight...?! Yes, it is. It's a toddler group, not a plenary lecture. They are not really learning anything they wouldn't pick up anyway.

You're not wrong. Perhaps have a word with the group facilitator, but I suspect they won't risk losing those mum's.

YADNBU. I go to group in my local community centre. The class opens on the hour but we don't start our singing and story telling till about ten past so plenty time to catch up beforehand. Then it finishes about quarter to and the group leader puts books and toys out for the kids and the parents can have another catch up. But there's still a group of 3 or 4 women (and there's usually only about ten of us so it's really noticeable) who talk on and off through the class and it's so annoying and really rude for the teacher, especially as she's set the class up timewise as much for the kids as the adults.

I think you misunderstand the point of toddler group.

paxillin and jenlindley

to clarify - i don't mean stay and play / playgroup type things - i'm talking about football groups, rugby groups, toddler sense/tumble tots, etc. with 3-5 YOs
things where you sign up for a term and pay a subscription. hoping the children actually get a little something out of it?

would you still say IABU?

yeah walkingtheplank and i don't want to be a massive killjoy, i just wish they wouldn't do it the WHOLE time

i hear you soloula !

I wouldn't call them toddler groups so that's slightly confusing in your OP.
Toddler groups are there for the Mums to chat really.
Classes/activities for older children are more for the kids so yes the adults should be quieter. Although a lot of classes for the 3-5 age group round here don't allow parents in, possibly for that reason!

Ahh so these are structured classes? Very different from the hell that is toddler group. Yanbu in that case. Parent chatting should not interfere with class.

ah sorry for the confusion, yes my title was not helpful on reflection - my first sentence was meant to clarify that i meant structured classes!

loll That made me

Toddler Groups are long in my past thank god , shudder.

I thought YABU OP but reading its structured classes then YANBU

relieved to know that now that's clearer I'm less U!

I'd still think you area little unreasonable. Mainly because mine are a lotolder and I now seewhat a colossal waste of money rugby tots or mini ballerinas are. They learn nothing for later, the kids who didn't do it catch up in 3 days aged 6. But it does get the cooped up parent out of the house.

Could you approach the loud chatters and ask them to be a little more quiet, same as you would in the theatre? Otherwise, ask the teacher to do so.

yeah i don't actually go to the toddler groups you're talking about, hence why it didn't occur to me my title would be misleading

fair enough paxillin take your point

i think i'm less arsed about what they are actually "learning" though, than i am about the bad manners to the adults, bad example to the children

Teach your child to shout "quiet on the cheap seats, please"

paxillin will do

That is annoying YANBU. But I don't know any classes for that age group where parents don't just drop off their child then return at the end of class. Except maybe sports classes whet they require parent volunteers to help out in which case you're too busy to chat.

YANBU regarding classes. (you confused me with toddler groups). It should be basic manners to respect teachers. What kind of examples do you give your kids? I am always amazed at adult classes, not cheap, where adults just natter for an hour doing absolutely nothing. Why don't they go for a drink instead?

Excellent suggestion from paxillin

If the 'teacher' hasn't got the confidence to tell the parents to be quiet then I don't think they should be taking the class.

Sounds bizarre.

I used to go to a lovely music group with DD, but I felt so sorry for the lovely woman who ran it, she was forever having to almost shriek over the yakking mums. Maybe it's because I always went to these things in my own so didn't have anyone to talk to but it really annoyed me.

Chatting at toddler groups is part of the experience so no problem there. I know what you mean about more structured groups though. I sometimes do a Storytime session with preschoolers. Parents sit and talk throughout; it is very distracting and rude to the person reading.

Sadly these parents when their children have grown up move on to yoga and Pilates classes and continue to talk through the class. This is despite arriving 30 minutes early for a coffee and catch up chat before the class. It takes a really strong instructor to shut these women up.

I've actually asked some women to stop talking so I can hear the class instructor.

Oh yes, you have my sympathy! My children are now adults so no recent experience of toddler groups etc, but when I have attended slimming groups I am astounded at how loudly many women talk amongst themselves. I do feel as if I'm in the minority but I do find it very rude and distracting, if people just want a social gathering then for goodness sake go to a local coffee shop or pub!