To leave the housework to my DP tonight

[bluebell9]

My DP and I both work FT. I work normal office hours and my DP works shifts. I was at work today and he was on a rest day.
I've already accepted that I do more housework than my DP but I'm really annoyed today. He has nipped out for an appointment and I'm home from work now as the DSC are arriving soon. I phoned him on my way home and he mentioned that he'd been out all day and therefore hadn't done any housework. He had said he would do the hoovering and washing up today but hasn't. He said on the phone that he would do it tonight after the kids are in bed.
AIBU to be annoyed that when he works and I'm off, he gets home to a clean and tidy house but when it's the other way round, I get home from work and then have to tidy up/cook etc?
This isn't the first time it has happened, it's a regular thing.

I have to add that he does do housework but normally when we both do it together.
He was at his parents doing heavy lifting/ gardening for them this morning which is lovely of him but stayed all afternoon chatting/drinking tea and didn't leave enough time to clean up when he got home before leaving for his appointment.

He's said he'll do it later so let him. You don't have to do it now unless it's really bothering you, and if you do it's your choice. It sounds like it's not that he's not doing housework, he's just not doing it when you want him to. And it's not that he's lazed around all day today, he's been working for his parents and then giving them some company. I think you're being a bit unreasonable.

Let him do it. Be firm. If he doesnt do it tonight leave it for him to do it until he does it.

I did this last Sunday, I'd been working and he hadn't done any of the washing up. He kept saying to leave and he'd do it so I did! Dh eventually had to do it about 10pm, he eventually confessed he hadn't wanted to do it and was hoping I'd get fed up of it being there and do it

Katy I do get what you are saying but he knows if he leaves it, I'll do it. And I'd only asked him to do it today as he didn't do it when he was off yesterday, he'd spent the day playing on his games console! Yes he needs time to relax too, but I've deliberately not washed the grill pan for a week as Ive asked him to do it. And it's still sat there waiting!

Put his games console in the grill pan.

Only joking not really joking

But if you don't do it then eventually he'll have to. If he knows that you'll give in then he's not going to bother. Think of it as training him!
And yes, put his games console in the grill pan!!!

Well I brought up the unbalanced work load with my DP. And as I know his habit of going on the defensive, I made sure I didn't rant or have a go at him but tried to have a discussion. He's not happy that I'm 'picking a fight' as I also mentioned that I'd prefer it if he'd ask me before arranging to have his ExW drop his kids with me. As I said to him, I'm more than happy to look after them,but it would be nice to be asked rather than told once the arrangements had been made.

Sounds like he takes you for granted in lots of ways. You should definitely be included in discussions which include you- how do your partner and his ex know what your plans are?