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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I understand this mother but she is wrong

33 replies

Thefishewife · 31/10/2016 21:39

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3888522/Oregon-mother-urges-parents-RSVP-turned-son-s-birthday.html

I understand her heart brake my son never went to one party from reception to hear 6 we also tried one party and only 1 child showed but dispite my sons disappointment he would of been mortified if begged people to attended or posted pictures of him sad at his party for 1

I think begging people or ematioal blackmailing them to come is not on really

OP posts:

Giratina · 31/10/2016 21:41

The cynical part of me thinks it's all a set up to get people to send free stuff.

QuackDuckQuack · 31/10/2016 21:44

It's a good message, but not something I would put into the public domain with my own child.

It seems a bit odd that the guests were the children in his taekwondo class rather than from school (if I have understood correctly).

Arfarfanarf · 31/10/2016 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

livingthegoodlife · 31/10/2016 21:59

i did a party once, we had 8 no rsvps and 5 not turn up on the day. so it was just 4 kids. felt really small. my kid still had a good day though, im nervous about the next party......

CanaryFish · 31/10/2016 22:01

I don't think she is begging or emotionally blackmailing people to come, more to show people the result of not letting her know either way. When no one rspvd she considered cancelling but the little boy was certain 5 were coming.
If she'd had replies from all saying no then at least she could have prepared him for it I suppose.
I don't know if I like her posting all the pictures and the story but such is the world we live in and the free stuff from well wishers maybe helped the poor chap feel a bit better

TimTamTerror · 31/10/2016 22:22

My DS had a party a few years ago where just one child turned up. They had all RSVP'd, our school is really good for that, but out of 13 invited four couldn't make it at all. Then the others, who had said they were coming, couldn't make it for various reasons. Quite a few belonged to a football club that had decided to hold a prize-giving at the last minute that clashed. Then a couple were injured (it was a very physical party), one family had a sudden illness of a grandparent in a different city. Lots of different last minute things, like a perfect storm. In the end only one child made it, which was a bit sad really.

On the positive side, none of the parents had realised that almost everyone had dropped out, so they each thought it was just their child cancelling at the last minute. They were all horrified, and the next birthday they ALL came. Which was loud.

SpunkyMummy · 31/10/2016 22:24

Poor kid. But I'm not sure if dealing with this publicly is the way to go.

SquinkiesRule · 31/10/2016 22:27

My Dd was the only one to turn up to a party one time. It was so sad. Luckily the girl had 4 cousins who came, so the party was 6 kids all together. The Mum had invited the whole class and had tons of food and party bags ready. The girl didn't have any special needs or behavior issues and played with lots of other children at school, so no idea why no one came.

PlayOnWurtz · 31/10/2016 22:38

Been there done that had the heart broken 5 year old at soft play and a table set for 12 and no fucker turned up.

Her approach is better than mine, I stopped doing parties

legotits · 31/10/2016 22:42

Fuckin eck.

Even Grandpa didn't turn up, his badge is in the pile with the others.

AliceInUnderpants · 31/10/2016 22:43

Odd that the photos of the gifts he received from blog readers were taken at a time when the 'happy birthday' banners were still up.

And that's a shitty cake.

OhGodWhatTheHellNow · 31/10/2016 22:50

lego Grampa's off the hook, the badges were all names from the Wimpy Kid books for the themed party.

This is always my fear - ds has a mid-summer-holiday birthday, and I worry people will forget. We do usually have an approx 30% non-attendance rate with no warning, I always plan accordingly. Sadly, you can't make people be more considerate.

Timeforausernamechange · 31/10/2016 23:15

I was the one child that turned up. To a school friends 13th birthday. Her mum had made loads of food...including a massive booze trifle. We ate the lot and got pissed. Definitely made the best of a bad job. I felt really sorry for the birthday girl though.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/11/2016 01:14

That's why I'd never do a party incase no one turned up

a8mint · 01/11/2016 01:32

Kids generally love parties. Ime if they don't want to go then their is a good reason for it.like in the case above where 2 out of 4 who turned up ' got injured’. It kind of gives you a clue as why most people stayed away.

QueenLizIII · 01/11/2016 01:47

Interesting name, not seen it used here. Very biblical.

Perhaps a bit of a stretch to go from home schooling to full on party in a new area after what a month in a new school.

Trifleorbust · 01/11/2016 07:06

When no-one RSVP'd, that was the signal that no-one was coming. You don't just carry on as if they are coming because that's setting your child up for this massive disappointment.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 01/11/2016 07:14

Agree.

RSVP No = not coming and polite

No RSVP = not coming and rude

So why would you carry on preparing?

user1477282676 · 01/11/2016 07:20

I think that her BIGGEST mistake was acting as though they WERE coming when nobody RSVP'd!

She should have told him that unfortunately, none of his classmates could come due to prior engagements but that family and friends could.

Then she could have just acted surprised if one or two HAD shown.

Why on earth did she allow him to think they would all come!

Oblomov16 · 01/11/2016 07:23

I never would have let this happen. I would have approached the mums in the playground and just said, oh haven't had all rsvp, just checking that Toby/Tilly/Thomas can come.

FoolandFitz · 01/11/2016 07:57

I have had people who have RSVPed not turn up and people who have not RSVPed turn up for DC parties. You can't win.

Trifleorbust · 01/11/2016 08:04

Annoying as that is, Fooland, surely it's better safe than sorry - assume they're not coming and no-one gets upset (or at least, not waiting around in an empty room upset). If they turn up having not RSVP'd and there is no party, more fool them!

expatinscotland · 01/11/2016 08:05

That's why I don't do parties. We have a family outing/weekend break instead.

FoolandFitz · 01/11/2016 08:08

Oh totally agree with you trifle - if no one RSVPed, party would be cancelled, for sure.

Oblomov good idea but it only works if you drop off/pick up the DC.

Pagwatch · 01/11/2016 08:12

I do parties but I chase and ask people if they are coming or not until I get a reasonable sense of how many are coming. My DC had fab parties and, having never had a party growing up, it's probably been more about my issues than their needs
I've still had people not turn up but that's been rare. I have had children arrive when they didn't say they were coming.

I'd never go ahead with a party with no rsvps but honestly, some parents are such arseholes. Just answer the fucking invitation. It's not hard.

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