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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 11 is to young

19 replies

Ghoulwiththedeviltattoo · 30/10/2016 21:07

To travel on a bus with friends a year older 3towns away for birthday party during the day?

The party is in a months time and ive said i can give her a lift to it but im now the most evil mum in the world whos ruined her friends life (got to love how over the top she gets). Shes only just been aloud to the townand park by herself this year so i dont think its a good idea especially how her and her friends seem to fall out every five minuits lately. Aibu or does this just sound like a recipe for disaster?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 30/10/2016 21:10

11 in primary school or 11 in secondary?

Unless there is more history I would have thought most 11 year olds would be fine with that. Lots do similar journeys to get to school daily

FluffyPineapple · 30/10/2016 21:18

An 11 year old travelling by bus during the day? I'm sure she will be fine. Most 11 year olds are capable of catching a bus....Why do you think your 11 year old is uncapable OP?

Wolfiefan · 30/10/2016 21:18

A bus or lots of changes of buses?

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 30/10/2016 21:20

If it's one bus then it should be fine.

golfbuggy · 30/10/2016 21:23

I'm presuming she doesn't normally travel by bus, hence why you are hesitating? Agree with others that many 11 year olds travel to school by bus, so it shouldn't be an issue. But why not do the journey with her ahead of time to put your mind at rest?

StillSmallVoice · 30/10/2016 21:38

I'm the bad mother who allowed her ten year old to scoot forty minutes to school in his own as a ten year old. He survived. And flourished.

Original poster
Ghoulwiththedeviltattoo · 30/10/2016 23:51

She walks to school 30 mins each way and has only just started secondary school before that the furthest she went was the park (5mins) and that was only this year. Im only hessitant as she never tends to go anywhere on a bus and her friends have a tendancy to as she would say "ditch" her. Maybe im just stupid and have been to protective but shes never had any interest to go anywhere.

OP posts:
Keeptrudging · 30/10/2016 23:57

Sounds reasonable if there are no changes/it's a direct route, as long as she's got her phone and you're willing to pick her up/you've got an emergency plan for if they do fall out.

Beeziekn33ze · 30/10/2016 23:59

Does she have a phone? She could let you know if she doesn't want to come back on the bus with the friends.or if they ditch her on the way to the party. Has she O lay known them since September?

BackforGood · 31/10/2016 00:02

I'd say YABU.
At secondary, dc do tend to start going that bit further / trying things they've not done before. I can't see any reason why she shouldn't be able to go on a bus with friends, unless there is stuff you haven't told us and are going to drip feed in a minute?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 31/10/2016 00:03

I used to get a bus to school every day from ten years old and it was an hour each way. She'll be with a mate and she'll be fine!

MommaGee · 31/10/2016 00:25

Is it just one bus or changes? 3 towns away could be 20 minutes or 2 hrs! If it's just one, or one into town and out of trust her as long as she had a phone, money for bus and she text when she got there. What time does it run to? How is she getting back?

SpookyMooky · 31/10/2016 01:05

No idea. Could you do a dry run with her?

HoneyDragon · 31/10/2016 01:08

Well age eleven is mature enough to do so.

The attitude she's giving you is not mature enough to do so though, maybe let that one sink in with her while you decide Wink

FluffyPineapple · 31/10/2016 03:21

She walks to school 30 mins each way and has only just started secondary school before that the furthest she went was the park (5mins) and that was only this year

I am astounded that at 11 years old the furthest your dd has been is to the local park - 5 minutes away. OMG! I'm not sure if you have wrapped your dd up in cotton wool for 11 year or if that makes me the worst parent on Earth! All 5 of mine have been playing out since they were around 7 years old. I guess it makes a difference as to what sort of area you live in. We are pretty urban with lots of mountains. all the kids from the neighbourhood play out and we have little traffic through our village.

Yakitori · 31/10/2016 03:25

YABU.

Bagina · 31/10/2016 04:59

YABU. Let her go. Just tell her to ring you if it all goes wrong. It will be good for her. If it does go wrong, don't chastise her; that's life. Try and encourage her to be more independent. It's very important to be streetwise.

Original poster
Ghoulwiththedeviltattoo · 31/10/2016 06:25

Ok guess ive just never thought about her going anywhere else most of her friends havent been aloud off the estate either untill they started walking to secondary school this year and they all just tend to hang round the local park which is on the estate. We are kind of out in the sticks their primary school was only 5mins away and the town is 50mins away up a country road. Ive never stopped her going places she just has never seemed interested.

OP posts:
Bagina · 31/10/2016 06:34

Time to work on broadening her horizons then! Exciting!

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