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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this mum is a witch!!

29 replies

spookytwoshoes · 29/10/2016 20:14

I have name changed as I know some mums from school are on here.

DS 9 joined a football team around a year ago, (he wasn't really interested in football before). Some friends from school were in the team and one boy in particular was considered "top footballer" within the team. Fast forward a year and ds has developed really well and is really good, so good that he won two awards at the end of the season award ceremony. This other mum made it clear that she wasn't happy but I didn't take the bait.

Team then folded suddenly and she...

Arranged for the other 6 members of the team to go for trials at another team, and told this other teams manager that ds wasn't interested

Plastered pictures of the team all over FB, congratulating them on this years success and wishing everyone the best for the future, mentioning everyone by name. Only thing was she had cropped ds off the photo so there was only 6 players left (this wasn't a mistake, she had done it on all the pics she posted)

All through this I remained silent, didn't respond. The boys BTW have remained friends at school and ds know nothing about any of the above.

Then the final straw for me was the fact that she excluded ds from the invites list to her ds's party this week. All of the school friends group were invited except ds.

AIBU to think she is a witch of the highest order, fair enough if she wants to pick a fight with me but to exclude a boy for being good at football is a very nasty thing for an adult to do.

OP posts:
followTheyellowbrickRoad · 29/10/2016 20:17

She sounds really horrible. But would you have consented to her putting pics of your son all over Facebook anyway?

Original poster
spookytwoshoes · 29/10/2016 20:20

It was a closed FB page for the team only.

OP posts:
9troubledwaters · 29/10/2016 20:20

Shes jealous. Its her problem not yours or ds's.
Could you not have contacted this coach yourself? Odd that he/she would take it as gospel from another mum that he wasn't interested. Does he play at all now?
Keep your head up & ignore the crap. ( Delete /block her on fb?)

bumsexatthebingo · 29/10/2016 20:21

I would have to ask her what the deal is. Sounds ridiculous behaviour over your son being better at football. Are you sure there's no bullying going on?
Is there anything stopping your ds from trying out for the other team?

ThoraGruntwhistle · 29/10/2016 20:21

She sounds like a bitch. Can you not contact the person who runs the new team to ask if your DS can join it anyway? Why would they take her word for it that he wasn't interested without consulting you?

Pancakeflipper · 29/10/2016 20:22

She is jealous.

Don't respond if it is not effecting your son. She's probably one of those who shouts loudly to all and sundry if you challenge her.
All the other parents will twig her chopping off your son in photos etc and be rolling their eyes about her little jealous game.

She's got issues and soon she'll be focusing on the next threat to her darling boy. Feel sorry for her son.

Original poster
spookytwoshoes · 29/10/2016 20:26

DS was asked to go to another team anyway, so this wasn't an issue, I didn't tell him about it, so he was completely unaware that he hadn't been included.

I am actually furious as I can see this becoming an issue in school if she carries on, I can imagine her getting the other boys mums on side (she's quite dominating) and this will lead to further exclusion for ds.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 29/10/2016 20:32

If your DS has gone to another team then the jealous mum will be targeting someone else soon.

That doesn't make it right but people will wise up to her. And friendships are not that easy to engineer for your kids as they get that bit older - kids know whom they like.

Firsttimer82 · 29/10/2016 20:40

Have you done anything to upset her personally?

Let her play her little games and if it effects ds then explain to him that some people are dicks and you have to ignore them.

Formidabbadoo · 29/10/2016 20:42

Sounds terrible. Jealousy is so ugly. Definitely her problem and not yours. And everyone sees through this in the end

hmcAsWas · 29/10/2016 20:43

God what is wrong with her! Completely out of order.

9troubledwaters · 29/10/2016 20:48

Well that's a good thing he's in a different team, she can't play her jealous games & you don't need to be in the closed fb group of that team.
Try not to worry about the excluding, just carry on being inclusive yourself, moan about it on mn of course but ignore irl just be cheerful etc she won't be able to get other mums on her 'side'

LockedOutOfMN · 29/10/2016 20:50

The other lady's behaviour seems petty and ridiculous and surely won't help her son in the long term.

I'm pleased your son is in another team and happy. I hope you'll both be able to ignore her and her actions, and that your son isn't sad about the party.

user1477427207 · 29/10/2016 20:51

she sounds horrible and a bit unhinged.

Serin · 29/10/2016 20:54

She is not a witch (I know some very lovely ones!)

But she sounds jealous, spiteful and petty.

I knew a similar rugby mum who was keen for her son to be the best one that she actually lied out his age and had him playing against kids 2 years younger. He won all the awards every year until she was found out.

Original poster
spookytwoshoes · 29/10/2016 21:16

I let ds decide and he chose to go to the other team. I am clearly very happy that he did, it was getting really hard to not bite back.

You're all right, just keep smiling at the other mums and hopefully things won't escalate, but I will be keeping my eye on her Wink I'm fortunate that ds is usually very open about his worries or concerns so I'm fairly confident that he isn't being bullied. I suppose with them all playing for the same team some exclusion may be inevitable.

OP posts:
IKnowWhyACagedBirdSings · 29/10/2016 21:21

Your son is now with another team and you can say good riddance to this toxic woman.
Some people live their lives through their kids, I pity her DC's.

IKnowWhyACagedBirdSings · 29/10/2016 21:26

Your son is now with another team and you can say good riddance to this toxic woman.
Some people live their lives through their kids, I pity her DC's

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 29/10/2016 21:28

Vile woman - your DS is clearly talented find another team for him and move away from this toxic woman. She's trouble.

ImperialBlether · 29/10/2016 21:30

Yes, your son is good enough to be a threat, isn't he!

TheDowagerCuntess · 29/10/2016 21:34

People are funny, aren't they.

She must have so little self-awareness to think a) you're not noticing what's happening, and b) that you don't know exactly why it's happening.

You have to wonder what's going on in their little heads, for them to think behaving like this is rational / not completely unhinged.

It's all a bit awkward/cringey for her, and she has no idea. I'd feel a bit sorry for her - the poor dear.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 29/10/2016 21:39

smile smugly at her and whisper 'i know what your game was.....made you look pretty stupid'

GardenGeek · 29/10/2016 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThoraGruntwhistle · 29/10/2016 22:20

It's not a very example to set her son about working as a team, she's basically telling him that if anyone is equal to or better than him, they have to be excluded and eliminated so they don't detract attention away from him. Ugh.

PerspicaciaTick · 29/10/2016 22:22

She sounds like a bitch of the highest order.
But definitely not a witch.