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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To love being alone in my home

14 replies

metaphoricus · 27/10/2016 21:59

DH gone off to visit his mother for two nights. (200 miles away)
No children at home with us. So I am completely alone and on my own.
For two whole nights! And it's perfect bliss!

I really relish a break from my husband. I get the bed to myself with no grunting and snoring noises. I can go to bed whenever I want, and read a book for as long as I like. I don't have to tolerate every TV and Radio in the house being turned up and on to max volume, so he doesn't miss anything. I can just turn all the noise off. And relax.

I can sit and peruse MN in silence, with no outside noise. My DH always has to have something very noisy in the background, even when he is doing things that require concentration, he has awful jazz music on, which I find disturbing, and annoying. I know people are different, but I am beginning to be concerned.

This morning, he came home from being away for two days, and I was listening to a story tape. So when he walked in, I turned it off because I thought that was the polite thing to do. He might want to talk to me. He 'did' start to tell me what he'd been doing, but he turned the radio on full blast whilst he narrated his adventures.

I found that very impolite and a bit daft. If you are instigating a conversation, why would you turn on the radio full blast? Unless you just want to broadcast and not receive.

I should LTB, I know. But we've been married over 30 years.
Is there still a chance of finding somebody who suits me better?

Discuss {smile}

I know. I should have LTB years ago,

OP posts:
Rainydayspending · 27/10/2016 22:02

Ear plugs? Nod and smile randomly, if he looks confused at a response tell him you were distracted by the radio / jazz.

Palomb · 27/10/2016 22:09

Well I'm not sure about the BU business.. I LOVE it when my H is away but I also love it when he's home so I suppose your ill have to say you are BU fo staying with someone who obviously makes you so unhappy.

nokidshere · 27/10/2016 22:34

After 30 years a break is a necessity not a luxury lol

DH is away tomorrow from very early till very late - I can't wait Wink we have also been married for 30 years and peace - total quiet - is a very rare commodity

Yanbu - enjoy

NickyEds · 27/10/2016 22:42

I would love some time alone in my house! We've lived here for nearly 18 months and I think I've only been alone here on perhaps 3 occasions (we have 2 small children)and those were only for less than an hour or so. Before becoming a SAHM I worked from home so was alone a lot and it is the thing I miss most. My dp is noisy too- always has to have tv or radio on, I can tell where he is in the house because he carries the bloody radio about with him.

ChasedByBees · 27/10/2016 22:46

Are you serious about wanting to LTB?

I love being alone in my house, it's bliss. But that doesn't exclude liking my DH's company too.

Have you told him that you hate the noise?

SpareASquare · 27/10/2016 22:48

I LOVE being alone in my house. LOVE it!

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 27/10/2016 22:51

You sound very well adjusted to each other. Nothing remotely unreasonable with either situation at all. Crack on ...

CheshireChat · 27/10/2016 22:52

I love it as well and miss being alone occasionally so badly. My DP is the tactile, cuddly type so it's even worse as he not only wants to talk to at me but cuddle as well. My touch quota has been filled up by the cat and toddler.

I am Halloween Envy with envy.

Fanofjapan · 27/10/2016 23:47

I'm on my own quite a bit these days. I'm used to it and don't particularly mind. I'm happy with my own company, or happy when everyone is home. But tonight I thought someone had broken in. Dog and me were bricking it. Luckily it was outside noises sounding like they were indoors. It was pretty scary investigating, as we wouldve been stuffed if it was an intruder.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 27/10/2016 23:51

Why don't you design yourself a she-shed?

helpimitchy · 28/10/2016 00:25

Swap him for a cat Smile

JakeBallardswife · 28/10/2016 00:31

I love peace and quiet of an empty house. Yes, LTB or buy him headphones or a shed?

metaphoricus · 28/10/2016 00:51

OK So it seems that most people have positive response to being alone in their own home. I 'have' told him that I hate all the noise, but he doesn't seem to perceive it as 'unwanted' noise. He is a shouty noisy person and he thinks it's normal to have the TV and Radio shouting out in every room. I really love peace and quiet. It seems that I am stuffed then,
I will have a serious talk with him when he get home tomorrow.
But until then..my house is a QUIET ZONE.

OP posts:
user1477282676 · 28/10/2016 01:04

I've explained to my DH that I just can't stand loud music...I"m one of "those People" who have sensitive ears...it literally hurts.

He accepts it and has it on loud when I'm out....I think you should tell him that you've realised your quality of life is badly affected and maybe come to a midway point....like he can have his loud sounds 3 days a week but the other 4 are yours.

He could always wear headphones.

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