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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to love living on a flat

61 replies

LovelyBath77 · 24/10/2016 16:29

It was hard when the children were really small but now they are bit older I love living in a flat in the city centre. They can walk to good local schools and to the shops and the park. Mostly pedestrianised and well lit. I feel from some relatives they think we should have a 'family house' from hints we get, but I really don't want to. After all, when we're older we'd probably want to downsize back to flat. No urge to be out somewhere in suburbs. AIBU? Any other family flat lovers, or most love to have a house?

OP posts:

Sgoinneal · 24/10/2016 16:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 24/10/2016 16:33

I miss our city flat. Wish I'd had the oomph to insist. Now we have a house I don't love in a boring place because it's 'what you do'

Sgoinneal · 24/10/2016 16:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

LovelyBath77 · 24/10/2016 16:35

What I have found is that it changes as they grow older. When they were small I felt guilty about not having a garden, and it was a pain with the buggy etc. But not they are older, I can see the advantages of being close to things. My eldest is secondary age now and can walk to the shops and school, quite easily whereas friends living further out need to catch the bus in etc.

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OlennasWimple · 24/10/2016 16:36

I love living in a flat too! Occasionally I wish we had stairs to put some distance between us and the DCs once they have gone to bed in the evening, but I guess with a different layout that would be less of an issue

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 24/10/2016 16:36

We used to live in an upstairs flat with two DCs. They were 13 & 10 when we moved to the house we are in now.

The only aspect I didn't like was the constant pressure to keep the noise down as the old man downstairs could "hear every footstep" - or so he claimed.

We now have a third DC, and need the space we have here. Where we live, 3 or 4 bed flats simply don't exist. You either get 1bed flats, 2 bed flats, 2 bed houses or 3, 4, 5, 6 bed houses. No bigger flats at all.

I did like the convenience of living on one level though, and do see myself going back to a flat once the DCs have all grown up and left home. Probably a two bed, with room for any potential grandchild visits, but I don't plan on spending my retirement cleaning & maintaining a house that's way too big for me!

Original poster

LovelyBath77 · 24/10/2016 16:38

We have some relatives who keep going on about how fab it is in their family house - that they can have friends round for BBQs and the children all run around and play in the garden etc. In fact they keep on about it knowing we have the flat (but notice they love to visit and go to the shops when the see us). I think it is the 'thing to do' and am letting it go, the comments. Even had an aunt say we're 'selfish' to live where we do (apparently, but this was from the res with the family house hmm) anyway, what I think is let it go and just be happy with what you decide to do.

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dingdongdigeridoo · 24/10/2016 16:39

I think flats are nice if you get the right neighbours. It suited us with a baby as we brought much less junk, and it motivated us to get out and about to the park or soft play - both minutes from the house.

Now we live in a big house that's cold and takes aaaaages to clean. Boo.

IminaPickle · 24/10/2016 16:39

Yes! I don't live in a flat atm, constant snide remarks about fresh air and gardens wore us down eventually but I LOVE flat living. There'd be a lot less of a housing crisis if as a nation we weren't so fixated on our 'own front door, scrap of lawn'

Original poster

LovelyBath77 · 24/10/2016 16:40

We have a three bed flat, which makes it work OK. I like being all on one level, but as you say having to think of the neighbours below is an issue. Ours is lovely and never complains, but I still think of her.

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seasidesharon · 24/10/2016 16:41

I get the attraction of a flat. Lived in one pre-kids and it was v low maintenance. But....

The noise of those around us was annoying
I pined for a bit of outside space to sit and drink my coffee on spring/summer mornings. I have a massive, not overlooked garden now and I love it.
bringing anything up the stairs and into the flat, or anything heavy out of it was a massive hassle because of the stairs. I couldn't imagine living there now with young kids and lugging all their shite inc prams etc up the stairs every day.

Each to their own, if you love your flat, that's great. So many people are unhappy with where they live, you're lucky!

TroysMammy · 24/10/2016 16:43

When I look at my large, 3/4 wrap around garden which is all grass, bumpy and full of moss I wish I lived in a flat with a balcony. I hate mowing the lawn. Next year I'll stop being so tight and pay someone to do it.

JoJoSM2 · 24/10/2016 16:44

I grew up in a flat and thought it was fab and sociable. Right outside the building there were playgrounds, tennis courts, there was an ice-skating rink in winter etc. You could go outside and socialise with peers. I find that in houses, gardens aren't that big so you might need to go to the park for many activities anyway. You also can't just go outside and need to juggle playdates...

Original poster

LovelyBath77 · 24/10/2016 16:46

Well, we're on the top floor, so no noise issues (other flats all very quiet / professional couples and retired mainly. There is a lovely enclosed garden for the square to sit in, shared but hardly anyone uses it. We were able to use a large cupboard to store the buggy in downstairs so that wasn't an issue and often get groceries delivered up to the flat. Not they are older and no buggy etc it is much easier.

My husband says he gets a bit fed up with doing the meetings with the management committee of the flats where they make decisions etc. He'd prefer just to have our own place. However there's no way we could afford a whole house in the city centre so I think it's a compromise. I would love to live here as we grow older so hoping we don't have to move, and can just miss out that 'family house'.

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Cellardoor23 · 24/10/2016 16:57

I live in a two bed flat with my DP and 5 month old. I love it. It's about a 15 minute walk to the city centre. I have a tesco about 10 mins away and a Scotmid about 2 minutes away. Plus a hairdressers and a pharmacy.

I love the convenience of everything being so close. We also have a park a few minutes away. Hardly hear any noise. (Old stone building) Sometimes I get a fright if I meet someone on the stair as I never see anyone!

The only downside is that I live at the top with no lift. This is the only reason I would move.

Unfortunately we live in a pretty expensive city, so if I wanted a house, I would have to move quite a bit out, which I don't really want to do.

NavyandWhite · 24/10/2016 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bailey101 · 24/10/2016 17:08

I lived in a flat for years, but since moving to a house I never appreciated the security aspect. I had a heavy duty, security front door (it took a joiner 45 minutes to break the frame off when the mechanisms snapped) and that was the only accessible entrance. I'm now very aware of the 2 doors and ground floor windows and after a spate of burglaries, I've forked out for an alarm system.

I don't miss the upstairs neighbours and they're shitty taste in music though.

LouieLou2013 · 24/10/2016 17:17

I live in a maisonette so we have stairs. I do love being able to walk to the city centre, harbour side etc. My 3 year old is such an outside boy though but luckily there is so much to do nearby.

Neighbours are a bit much sometimes and the area is classed as deprived and people do make assumptions when I say where I live so there are downsides but that's not specific to flats

Original poster

LovelyBath77 · 24/10/2016 17:23

Cellar you'll find the stairs easier as your baby grows and you don't have to carry them. It can be a benefit being all on one level for a toddler - no stair gates for example.

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originalmavis · 24/10/2016 17:25

Id love a garden though. There's no way we could afford the type of house I grew up in in the city, and we had a lot of land that I adored pottering around. I hate not having 'room' so I can't hoard and there's no nook or empty space for a new chair or Christmas tree. Cupboards are crammed and I can't keep many family keepsakes, or invite a crowd around.

However, when we are old and/or decrepit, our very central des-res will be perfect!

Liiinoo · 24/10/2016 17:26

We have lived in detached houses for the last 28 years (that sounds a bit posh, but the first one was a fixer upper that took 16 years to get to a decent standard). It was great when we had DDs, they could scream, shout, practice their myriad instruments and we could be generally be a very loud family without worrying about the neighbours.

DDs are grown up now and DH and I recently bought a loft type studio flat in a very busy, noisy, seaside town. It was intended to be an investment/rental thing but in fact we have been staying there at weekends and we love it. No gardening, hardly any cleaning and so much going on right on our doorstep. We can walk to shows, gigs, pubs, cinemas, restaurants, shops, everything. After suburbia it is a whole new life. We are seriously considering selling our house and relocating to a (slightly bigger) seaside flat permanently. I would definitely want a balcony though and two loos. I am finding having just the one a bit inconvenient.

NipSlipper · 24/10/2016 17:31

We live in a 4 bed semi in a London suburb. I would move to a 3 bed flat further in to London in a heartbeat!

Its how I grew up - flat in inner London, no garden but parks nearby, everything on my doorstep, was using public transport independently at an early age - and I loved my childhood! Unfortunately, DH is one of those people who needs a garden/driveway/shed to feel secure (and like a maaaaaaan ).

We will DEFINITELY downsize when the DC are older, though. he has at least agreed to that.

YANBU. City centre flats are the best!

howabout · 24/10/2016 17:31

I live in a flat with DH and 3 DC. We did consider a house when DD1 and DD2 hit teens but glad we didn't now. They go to school over the road and we can walk to town or catch the bus or train anywhere. I never have to worry about the garden and I like the security of flat living. Loads of big tenement flats round about us.

PIL used to ask all the time when we were moving to a proper house but even they are starting to see the method to our madness now .

NapQueen · 24/10/2016 17:31

We live in a ground floor terraced flat. I adore it! It's been so so good with young kids - all on one level, large yard out the back, no stairs.

We are 5 mins walk max to a massive green and play park; the kids school; library; art gallery; leisure centre and a high street. I can walk into the main town within 10 mins, the nearest big city within 20 mins.

I don't want to leave!!

Sadly it's 2 bed and we have a boy and a girl so eventually will need to move. I'm hanging on a few more years though.

Cellardoor23 · 24/10/2016 17:31

Yeah, I've been told that. The stairs are a bit annoying at the moment, but I know it will get easier. Most of the time if I'm on my own, I just use the sling if I need to nip to the shops.

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