To ask for advice re. 14 year old smartphone use?

[RosieLig]

Do others regulate phone usage?

During the week my 14 year old can go on his phone after his activities/homework/tea so from around 6.30/7 for an hour or until 8ish.

Weekends I've been letting him on it more as somehow it feels weird confiscating his phone. Similarly holidays. But he will not self regulate, he is on it non-stop if I let him- watching videos, playing Pokemon and snapchatting friends.

How do others manage it with older kids? It's somehow easier with my younger ones - they're not allowed any electronics during the week. Maybe it's because my oldest bought his phone himself with saved money, it feels more difficult taking it from him.

No flaming please....this has crept up recently, particularly since Pokémon Go obsession started! 😱😬

Id say he can use it until he goes to bed. But not take it to bed with him. It's the way of the world now it's how they stay in touch with friends

I don't have DC so can only contribute on my own opinion. Tbh I think as long as you are happy that he still spends time doing active things like sports or non screen activities like reading and he is doing well at school, then during weekends and holidays I would likely be more lenient too. I would see his phone time as being a reward for hard work at school and at home, and review if he becomes more disengaged in other non screen activities to get the balance back again.

He's not allowed it in his room at bedtime.

But it feels like all day until bedtime this holiday.

He's a bit of a dreamer anyway so things like clearing dishes, doing any holiday work are by the wayside because of the bloody phone. I don't feel I should have to be reminding him of things he needs to do all the time- he is 14!

Sorry just frustrated!!

Ps he does lots of sport but struggles a lot at school-dyslexic/lack of focus

I started a similar thread yesterday but the response was poor so I gathered maybe others do not have a problem with phones and gaming etc. My DS is 12, I don't take the phone away as such now as it causes to much upset but he only plays games on it for an hour or so during the week, a bit more at the weekend but not too prolonged as the multi player type games frustrate him and it seems to bring out the worst in him. I am trying to get him much more into music on his phone as it's 'harmless'. He does push the boundaries and is constantly wanting to be on his phone, some parents don't seem to mind but I do, perhaps others do not encounter problems, ?? When he's hour or so is up I just ask him to finish up and put his phone down and encourage him to do something else, it's a work in progress. I would imagine it gets harder as they enter their teens as their phones seem glued to them.

Do not allow it to take it to be how ever well he claims he will self regulate

We used to take it of our dd now 17 it used to ping and get texts from people saying "are you awake wassup me" Ect like 2,3,4 am and I am very sure he would of answered

Even one saying emergency please answer then next text was so time is home work due 😳

I didn't regulate my ds phone time at 14 - it's how they live these days ? What's to be gained other than unhappy teen ? My ds is now a very well rounded hard working university student (still on his phone )