To let my 4yo sleep with a dummy?

[maisybobbins]

I hope I'm not about to be spit roasted here but...

I took the beloved dummy away from DS when he was about 2.5. He's just turned 4. But he got croup over summer and when he cried (which badly aggravates croup) the best way of stopping him instantly was giving him the dummy. So he's now back on it, for sleeping only of course. It's just such a relief for him, like flicking the off switch and he's asleep within five mins.

But are there any reasons I should force him to stop again? Is it really bad for his teeth?

No
It's fine. Let him have his comfort. He'll give it up one day. Who care when.

It is really bad for his teeth.

But he is sleeping.

My dd had hers during the night til she was 7 and her teeth are perfect.
All my kids have had a dummy except 1 and they all have lovely teeth tbh!! Most got rid about 3 except her!!

Do you take it off him after he falls asleep?

Normally I'd say whatever helps them sleep. However my daughter had hers til a dentist visit at 3 which showed a massive open bite we'd never noticed. Dentust said common in dummy suckers and said to get rid sharpish. She only ever had it at night so we were shocked by the effect.

As a result of the gap she had what's called a tongue thrust which made her lisp and affected her ability to learn and pronounce phonics. Two years on the teeth now meet but she still lisps and has a funny relationship between tongue and teeth. So it's still having an effect.

Dummies can have long term negative effects on teeth. I'd bin it. If I'd known the effect id have taken it away after a few months, and certainly when teeth started growing.

I'm smiling with relief reading your posts, thank you! trivial I know but I've been worrying about it.

Oh just read Grumpy and Crunchys posts and feeling less sure of self again. Just nipped in to remove it. Will let him fall asleep with it and then remove.

And at least he's not sucking his thumb which you can't take away

Some children will be entirely unaffected some will end up with terrible teeth or speech issues. However, he needs sleep to be happy and healthy (and so do you). All you can do is try to weigh up if its worth the risk.

Well it will be Christmas soon, would he give it to Santa?

I do know what you mean sometimes when my 4 year old is really tired and doesn't know what to do with himself and I can see tears coming I remember how a dummy would just instantly soothe him but tired 4 year olds are just part of life.

What were the problems with sleep before the croup?

DS (7) still sucks his thumb. The dentist says his teeth are fine at the moment and whilst we do need to wean him off, not to worry too much about it.

I had a tummy till I was 6! Teeth have always been straight (never needed a brace) and have no speech impediment.

I can still remember the comfort of sucking my dummy :)

Tummy = dummy

I gave up mine because I realised no other children had one and I wanted to be a 'big girl'. Pretty certain my mum would have let me keep it till I was 18 if I'd wanted it.

Bellyrub when I told ds he was thumb sucking whilst playing his first school rugby match last week, he has definitely improved! I think he often doesn't realise he's doing it and was mortified when I told him!

Bless him. If that's his comfort at the moment I'd let him have it.

If he's over the croup, I'd be tempted to give the dummy to the 'dummy fairy' or something similar. If you don't feel ready to do that, then removing it once he is asleep is a good idea.

But equally I wouldn't stress out too much about it. If it was his thumb he was sucking, you wouldn't be able to take that away! I sucked my thumb at night until I was at least 10 and it hasn't affected my teeth.

Oh let him have it. All my 4 had life saving dummies and have great teeth.

If there's s problem down the line and there most probably won't be then it gets fixed.

He probably will give up any day anyway.

Sleep is far more important for you and him.

I'd rather a dummy than a thumb. Honestly! My dd is 8 this month, we took her soother away when she was four, she struggled for a few days she loved that bloody thing
Ds is 5 took a soother from birth and just one day when he was two never looked for it again
My ds has had croup a few times op do whatever makes your ds's and your life better

If cold turkey isn't an option, then you are definitely right to aim to limit it to falling asleep only, not leave it accessible all night long.

Does he remember not having it? Could you use that in some fashion, persuade him that dummies are for little babies and for sick children, and now that he is better etc? Have you tried just 'losing' it one bedtime and see what happens?

Just to say as well as getting him off it as an aim in itself, if he gets sick again you no longer have the dummy as the 'nuclear option' to help with sleep in a desperate situation.

This is all easy for me to say - my boy who was a dummy fiend one day at 20 months old bit through the last dummy in the house and hasn't needed one since. I had been dreading the thought of weaning him off it! So maybe it won't be as bad as you think, particularly as he has relinquished it before.

He will give it up in his own time.

Never seen an adult suck a dummy

How can you ever really know if a dummy is what caused a child's overbite/speech impediment/lifelong orthodontic problems? Plenty of children who don't use dummies have those issues, and the vast majority of children who use dummies have no problems at all. My kids were in the latter group so personally I wouldn't worry about it.

Of my five DCs, the only one that has been recommended braces was the one that never bothered with a dummy.
If it comforts him, let him have it.
(I still have my childhood teddy and I am well into my 40s )

There will be plenty of children who have dummies who don't need braces. There will be plenty of children who've never had a dummy who need braces (my own included), but dummy use can cause a very specific issue with the mouth/teeth that isn't as easy to rectify as just putting braces on. It can make the palate itself higher and narrower than it should be and that can cause speech problems. Also, don't be so sure that you can just 'get braces', these days the NHS will only pay if the problem is relatively severe. It might be a costly experience fixing the problem.
So, whilst its not the end of the world, I would be working toward removing it. take it away once he's asleep. perhaps giving it to santa this christmas might work.