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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School assumes we have a joint account

23 replies

Stopyourhavering · 10/10/2016 11:34

My ds has decided he no longer wants to go on school trip which I have been paying for monthly from MY personal account by cheque in MY name.
No problem with getting refund from school as it was an oversubscribed trip in any case...however have now received refund cheque from school to MR & MRS STOP!
Can I pay this into my account ? (We do not have a joint account - husband previously had financial difficulties) if not why do school assume we do have joint account when I have been only one to pay for trip.....rips my knitting! Grrrr

OP posts:

Kannet · 10/10/2016 11:37

No you can't pay it into a sole account. It's normally very straightforward to request a name change on the cheque. It sure the school where it be difficult, did you tell them who you wanted it payable to. They can't really do right for wrong sometimes

NynaevesSister · 10/10/2016 11:38

When this happened to me we had to open a joint account (the cheque couldn't be changed).

Talk to your bank and ask. It might be that your husband needs to sign it over or something.

Might be easier to get school to issue a new cheque. How rude of them!

tabulahrasa · 10/10/2016 11:42

Just get a new cheque...

I've had to do that because they wrote the cheque to Mrs DC's surname. I'm miss and have my own surname.

RoseGoldHippie · 10/10/2016 11:42

No you can't - I had the same problem when we received a refund from our solicitors! Had to send it back and wait for the new one absolutely rediculous! When you are struggling with money as it is the last thing you need is to wait extra time to get the money you are owed!

budgiegirl · 10/10/2016 11:43

Just return the cheque to the school and ask for a new one in the correct name. No biggie!

RoseGoldHippie · 10/10/2016 11:49

Sorry just to add - yes you cannot expect schools etc to know HOWEVER when you have been paying into the fund with one name on a sole account, why would you expect them to randomly send it back to both? I paid all our solicitors fees so why try and repay money back to my and my partner? I think it's a. It cheeky tbh !

RoseGoldHippie · 10/10/2016 11:51

Budgie - sometimes you cannot get that on the same day as they have to request this. It could potentially take a few weeks!

WorraLiberty · 10/10/2016 12:01

It's really not a big deal and hardly worth turning your caps lock on for

Only they can tell you why they assumed you had a joint account, so just ask them when they change the cheque.

Softkitty2 · 10/10/2016 12:02

Not sure if this is relevant but when my husband and I started our mortgage application, I literallly did ALL the paperwork, read contracts, emailed people, correspondence etc. When it came to the mortgage agreement and letters it was all addressed to Mr.DH.

I complety lost it when I was ringing the electric company to say we were the new owners etc etc, they wouldn't speak to me because the house bill wasn't under my name, they said maybe we can speak to your husband to authorise you making changes to the acct. I lost my shit because I said my husband has never paid a bill in his life.

What im saying is the assumption is very much still there that the man controls the household.

Also we are due a mortgage re evaluation and they keep ringing my husband who is clueless. I did ALL the work previously and correspondence was all with me. But he is now having to authorise them to allow me to speak on his behalf.

Bastards.

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/10/2016 12:06

I just had the same thing with council tax. I applied, completed the form, set up the DD from my own account. And they write the letter to DH to confirm it! Cheeky fuckers.

Original poster

Stopyourhavering · 10/10/2016 12:07

I do think it is a big deal actually!.... Especially as I pay for all dcs activities/ courses etc and it has only ever been me to pay cheques to school
It's the assumption that we have a joint account and the time wasted in getting new cheque reissued , so by time it clears it will be next week
DH is self employed and does not have cheque account due to previous financial problems

OP posts:

WeAllHaveWings · 10/10/2016 12:09

I've had cheques before for MR & MRS SURNAME and taken them to the bank, handed over with my card and paid into my sole account. Guess the teller just never noticed.

budgiegirl · 10/10/2016 12:10

Budgie - sometimes you cannot get that on the same day as they have to request this. It could potentially take a few weeks!

I understand it may take a few days, but it shouldn't take a few weeks to cancel a cheque and reissue it.

Its a bit frustrating, I get that, but they made an error, people do, I just can't see that it's worth getting too het up about.

Ask at the school office, they may be able to change the name on the cheque, or reissue it straight way.

budgiegirl · 10/10/2016 12:17

I do think it is a big deal actually!.... Especially as I pay for all dcs activities/ courses etc and it has only ever been me to pay cheques to school

Would the school even keep a record of who wrote out the cheque though? They surely would just pay it in, it's not like they still have it in their possession to check whos account it came out of?

It would have been nice if they had asked who to make the cheque payable to, but on the other hand, you could have requested the cheque in your name when you asked for the money back. School are busy places, and errors do occur. I just couldn't get over excited about this.

myownprivateidaho · 10/10/2016 12:21

To be fair, they might well get into more trouble paying only one parent without having been specifically told to do this.

Lunar1 · 10/10/2016 12:23

Just go and ask for it to be changed. The school (Hopefully) have better things to do than keep an eye on which parent pays for things.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 10/10/2016 12:54

They probably can't see where the money has come from, just the reference you've put on the payment. It definitely wouldn't say your name on it.

They should have asked you. Odd that they assumed.

RoseGoldHippie · 10/10/2016 12:55

Budgie-to be honest my solicitors were rubbish! So maybe my situation was a bit different. Also I think the situation was more annoying because there was such a delay on everything! We were buying our first house so obviously didn't know how things were meant to be handled and the time limits for things. I was jumping to action every request within hours but would then wait weeks for any development or communication from them. They lost documents as well so we had to keep hand delivering stuff. I think the cheque was just the last of a very big bail of straw!

ChickenSalad · 10/10/2016 13:00

The school have made the error so should reissue the cheques.

Fluffyears · 10/10/2016 13:09

I've paid cheques in both names into my sole account. I asked the teller and she said as long as my name was on it it was fine.

CurlyMango · 10/10/2016 18:52

Soft kitty - I have the same bastards. They get to me, and ask for husband!!! Even worse is when it's my company and they send him letters so he can sell it. He is nothing to do with it and never has been. It's still a very very sexist world.

chickenowner · 10/10/2016 18:53

Just tell the school!

Jeez, is it really worth getting so angry about this!?!

Zeeandra · 10/10/2016 18:59

Either ask school to reissue or ask your bank. Sometimes they will take them if you have marriage cert (and sometimes without)

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