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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU not to wake DH up?

25 replies

CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 08/10/2016 18:42

DH due to go round the corner to his friend's house tonight. He and DS have both gone to sleep in our bed about an hour ago - DS was whacked having been up since 5am and had an epic tantrum. DH took him for a cuddle to calm him down and they both fell asleep. In the interests of full disclosure I should say DH got up with him at 5 while I got a lie-in.

BUT he went out on Thursday night and is meant to go out again tomorrow night, and has generally moped about doing very little and saying how tired he is for the last couple of days. And I just tried to wake him to say he needed to go soon and got sleepily snarled at for nagging him Hmm. So WIBU to leave him as he clearly needs the sleep and it's not my job to make sure he gets to his playdates on time?

Disclaimer: I will wake him up, obviously, but may leave it til the last minute and he's not getting such a nice cup of coffee as he otherwise would. Humph.

OP posts:
monkeysox · 08/10/2016 18:45

Leave him where he is and have a nap yourself downstairs....

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 08/10/2016 18:47

Leave him to it. Put your feet up!

AyeAmarok · 08/10/2016 18:47

Don't bother waking him.

DelphiniumBlue · 08/10/2016 18:49

YWNBU to leave him sleeping, having tried to wake him and been snarled at for your pains. If you try again, he might accuse you of nagging again, and that's upsetting for you. I suspect he's over-committed himself and doesn't really want to go.

DixieNormas · 08/10/2016 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5BlueHydrangea · 08/10/2016 18:51

Yes, don't nag! What's on TV? Where are those chocolates??

yougetme · 08/10/2016 18:52

Well you tried to wake him didn't you? And he snarled at you for your troubles.
No way would I return to be snarled at. Leave him to it .He obviously needs his sleep and will be rested ready for his night out tomorrow.

WatchingFromTheWings · 08/10/2016 18:53

You tried. He snapped. Leave him there.

WineChocolate

steff13 · 08/10/2016 18:53

You tried to wake him; he's a grown adult, you can't force him to get up. Let him sleep.

Original poster
CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 08/10/2016 18:55

I have always tried to avoid nagging him Halo.

I think I'll make myself some dinner and put on Netflix. Though this may backfire...

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 08/10/2016 18:56

How can it back fire?! You tried he didn't respond/snarled so it's his look out

GazingAtStars · 08/10/2016 19:01

I'd try once more to wake him up and if he still wouldn't get up I'd leave him. I'm never at my best if I get woken up when I'm really tired

Original poster
CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 08/10/2016 19:02

Backfire possibility 1: friend rings dh to find out where he is, this wakes DS. DH goes out and I am left with refreshed and bouncy toddler.

Backfire possibility 2: dh wakes up in an hour or so and my evening Netflix plans are disrupted by grumpyboots being cross I let him sleep.

But meh - I'll take my chances with both of those Wine.

OP posts:
whirlwinds · 08/10/2016 19:04

Done this as well, always fun when he finally wakes up with WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME /(sooner)?? Smirking giving him the true tale of growls and snoring "leave me"s and settling back down with, I tried, you didn't budge, if you want I can offer a bucket of cold water next time.

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 08/10/2016 19:05

Put DH 's phone on silent and unplug the landline.

mysistersimone · 08/10/2016 19:08

You're not his mum, screw it. What you having for tea? What's your choice in Netflix? Grin

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 08/10/2016 19:15

Phone on silent, you watch netflix, if he comes down shut your eyes and tell him you fell asleep.

Inertia · 08/10/2016 19:17

You did wake him and got snarled at . Leave him to it. Switch the landline volume down.

MotherFuckingChainsaw · 08/10/2016 19:23

He's a grown up. He wants to go out at a set time he sets am alarm. Like grown ups do.

And
Don't use the word nag even about yourself please. It's a put down to make your valid concerns look trivial.

Enjoy Netflix and crisps.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/10/2016 19:23

If you try to wake dh up again, he may snarl so much that he wakes d.s. up. Leave him and use this as the excuse. Maybe text his friend if he doesn't wake and say you tried to rouse him to no avail.

Love51 · 08/10/2016 19:24

I'm a snarler when woken. I set an alarm clock and snarl at that rather than my beloved. (when kids were small and I used to nap I would set alarms at naps too if I wanted to wake up). If he hasn't got up once you woke him, I would assume he needs the sleep.

mysistersimone · 08/10/2016 19:25

I like the idea of pretending you're asleep when you hear him rousing. Get out clause right there

Imnotaslimjim · 08/10/2016 19:26

Move his mobile so it can't wake the toddler then get your feet up with treats and wine. Enjoy!

Original poster
CesareBorgiasUnicornMask · 08/10/2016 19:36

Shock narrowly avoided a hideous amalgamation of potential backfires 1 and 2!!!

DH woke up and panicked/ grumped that I hadn't woken him up and woke DS up in the process Angry. But I made him stay till he'd got DS back to sleep and he has achieved that and then buggered off out. AND apologised for snarling. So win.

However, my M&S gluten free quiche (that I'd been very excited about trying - haven't been able to have quiche for years!) is incredibly disappointing. So I may need to order a victory curry to see me through the last few episodes of House...

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 08/10/2016 19:42

Sounds like a win, other than the food!

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