Is 7 & 9 too young to do the 'going on strike' thing?

[notagainnellie]

Have just asked them to collect some pears from the garden. Would take about 3 minutes. You would think I had asked them to clean the floorboards with a toothbrush. They have refused and I have been asked why I don't do it, and told they are not my slaves. One accidentally slapped my face flailing around. No SEN.

AIBU to not do the things I would ordinarily do for them today - aside from providing a hot meal? They take their plates to the dishwasher (usually without nagging), take clothes to the laundry, take recycling out (usually without nagging) and ds1 takes the bins onto the street and gets them back in. But so often I get this shit when I ask them to do something else and it's not on. Doesn't help that at their dad's they do fuck all as he is happy to live in a shit hole. Makes it hard to be consistent.

AIBU? Or advice please?

I'd love to do this. But the tantrums would drive me nuts (lp). If they were old enough for me to flounce out and leave them to it I'd do it.

Not a problem. You were going to reward helpers with ice cream but now you will collect the pears yourself and enjoy the ice cream alone. (Preferably making loud "mmmmm" noises). You might even melt down some chocolate to pour over it.

No no, no help needed now thanks.

Personally I'd take away every fucking privilege they had all day for that behaviour. No telly, computer games, outings, nice food. Until they come and apologise and do the task they were asked to do, they play in their rooms with whatever they find there. That would not fly in my house.

My rule was that for every time they said no to me I said no to them. They learned very quickly

Well they do stuff around the house already so they're hardly lazy.

Have you asked them why they won't and tried reasonably persuading? Otherwise they just learn that doing things for others should only be done if they get something back.

My 7 year old doesn't always react well to doing stuff but I generally can by using reason.

I'm with Cauliflowersqueeze and The Little Red Hen.

Give it a few times for the lesson to sink in.

If that doesn't work, escalate.

BTW what were they doing when you asked? Did you interrupt something?

Definitely do it. Also let them rustle up their own dinner while they're at it. I do this occasionally and find it helps re-establish the fact that I am a human with my own needs as well.

They are future RMT members!

YANBU