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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think accidents are inevitable?

19 replies

Usernameinvalid16 · 03/10/2016 21:19

When potty training?..
I am currently potty training dd (2.5years) she's doing great, no problems apart from the odd accident when she's been too busy playing to realise she needed to pee (i was expecting that) done her first poo today without me telling her to sit on it (tmi)
Plenty of rewards although she doesn't get any when she's had an accident just 'oh well, it's ok we can always try next time'
Anyway my problem is with my DM (we live with her) she was annoyed when dd had an accident on her carpet, i cleaned it up after i cleaned dd. But dm didn't wait to mention her problem she done it right in front of dd and she obviously heard.
She keeps forcing dd to sit on her potty or on the toilet (which she's scared of) and i don't know why she's trying to make her do it. I really feel that she is hindering our progress, dd has clearly shown that she is capable of doing it by herself and she still won't listen to me.
Can anyone help? Thanks

OP posts:
FleurThomas · 03/10/2016 21:44

i potty trained my neice (her mum couldn't) and would always put her in pull ups when she was visiting someone else. It's not fair to subject others (and their houses) to your kid's pee and poo.

museumum · 03/10/2016 21:48

If my ds hadn't been for a long time or shoes signs of jiggling I do ask him to "just try" on the potty/toilet even if he doesn't think he needs.
But yes, some accidents are to be expected.

tibbawyrots · 03/10/2016 21:48

OP said she lives with her DM.

arethereanyleftatall · 03/10/2016 21:50

Disagree. Just wait till they're ready. Then there won't be any accidents.

reallyanotherone · 03/10/2016 21:53

Not inevitable, no.

One of mine has never had an accident, the other only a couple in the months after she was out of nappies.

How long have you been "training"? If it's been a while and regular accidents i can understand your dm getting frustrated. Your dd may not be completely ready uet.

Jizzomelette · 03/10/2016 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood · 03/10/2016 21:57

Yes, accidents are probable when they are learning.
To be fair though, I feel I'd done all that when my dc were that age. I wouldn't be over impressed at a child peeing on my carpets now. So I suppose it depends on the circumstances of why/ how long you are living in her house.

Original poster
Usernameinvalid16 · 03/10/2016 22:07

Its been 2 days and shes had 2 accidents. Dd goes to sit on the potty when she doesn't need but can feel it, she will go back and forth for 5 mins until it happens.

Dm knew that this would happen (she was the one who told me i should try)
She's never pooed on the floor, she peed whilst playing, dd realised she was peeing and tried to get to her potty but didn't manage it in time.
Dm doesn't remind her, she will pick her up and sit her on it and hold her there and tell her to pee.

OP posts:
Original poster
Usernameinvalid16 · 03/10/2016 22:11

I normally know when she's pooing (in her nappy) but today she took herself to the potty and done it by herself and said 'mummy i pooed' and waited to get cleaned up. Which i thought was amazing.

OP posts:
mumofhandsomeboys · 03/10/2016 22:20

The odd accident is going to happen. They still happen to children of school age! Those who say their child NEVER had an accident are lying imo! You're doing the right thing by praising her when she pees in the potty and not making a big deal of accidents so keep going Smile can you explain to your mum why you are using your method at her than hers? I know my mum said she used the old school method of sit on potty every 5mins and wanted me to do this with my DS. I explained this wasn't the method for us and she respected that. DS1 has had 1 or 2 accidents at her house on her carpet for be same reason as your daughter - too busy playing. Luckily she was very understanding and not at all cross. Children come with mess, unfortunately you have to suck it up sometimes! Good luck xx

Original poster
Usernameinvalid16 · 03/10/2016 22:41

mumofhandsomeboys she is fond of the old school method because it worked for her children. I think she's just scared that dd will never know when she needs the toilet but i think dd's doing really well so far. I think it will take dm a while to get out of her habit but we had a chat and she's promised to try my method. Thanks Smile

OP posts:
missymayhemsmum · 03/10/2016 22:56

Could you buy some cheap washable rugs to save your mum's carpet?

HeCantBeSerious · 03/10/2016 23:36

I'd move out.

Original poster
Usernameinvalid16 · 04/10/2016 07:09

missymayhemsmum we have a carpet washer and i have offered to hire the rug doctor if the one we have doesn't work very well. I put down some towels last night but i will look at some rugs today.

OP posts:
NicknameUsed · 04/10/2016 07:15

I think in the early stages of potty training accidents are inevitable. This is why we decamped to the kitchen for 3 days when I potty trained DD. We had a settee and a TV in there and room for DD to play. It meant that no carpets were involved.

It took 3 days to train DD and she only had little leaks, not accidents after that because she was ready.

Potty training a toddler from scratch when there are carpets about is somewhat optimistic IMO.

CatsCantFlyFast · 04/10/2016 07:16

I hate this "wait until they're ready and there will be no accidents" statement personally

When I think of a situation when I learned something new (as an adult) I acknowledge and remember that I made mistakes as I learned this new skill. Therefore I think it's inevitable a child will when learning a new skill too. Whether it's potty training or anything else they learn, the very process of mastering something involves setbacks and mistakes at any age

I think your mil is being unreasonable and I would firmly tell her you don't want mil to do xyz (sitting her on the loo/potty). However I think the comments about the carpet you will just have to let go I'm afraid

reallyanotherone · 04/10/2016 11:48

Those who say their child NEVER had an accident are lying imo!

Yes, I'm lying Hmm. Do you assume people are lying every time they say something you disagree with?

*I hate this "wait until they're ready and there will be no accidents" statement personally

When I think of a situation when I learned something new (as an adult) I acknowledge and remember that I made mistakes as I learned this new skill. Therefore I think it's inevitable a child will when learning a new skill too. Whether it's potty training or anything else they learn, the very process of mastering something involves setbacks and mistakes at any age*

Not saying there will be no accidents, but many people do start too early and have too many accidents. I know people that go weeks or months of three of four clothes changes every day, pissing on the bus, in the middle of baby ballet (when there's a toilet adjoining the room). A few accidents in perfectly acceptable in the learning process, but if the o/p had been several weeks of pissing on her DM's carpets and furniture, the the DM would have had a point.

hazeyjane · 04/10/2016 12:03

Just wait till they're ready. Then there won't be any accidents.

This may be true for some children and not for others - they are all pretty different!

Original poster
Usernameinvalid16 · 04/10/2016 13:43

reallyanotherone it's been nearly 3 days, she had 2 accidents and thats all because she was far too busy playing to even realise she needed to pee. Once she started peeing she tried to get to the potty but was too late (she was upset that she was wet)
I would never try and train her if she wasn't ready.

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