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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Throwing a party - people staying??

18 replies

carnation2531 · 01/10/2016 20:56

Hi all - first post! I'm throwing a birthday party and live quite far out from the city (would cost about £20 in a taxi, obviously more depending on where you live). People are asking to stop over but I've said my sister can have the spare bed and the sofas will only have been delivered that week so don't really want people sleeping on them. Also DP is a bit funny about having the party now anyway because of the sofas so don't want to go there 😳

AIBU to think most people will make their own way home anyway and say there's nowhere for people to stay? I know it's only an invite, not an obligation

OP posts:

Shinyshoes2 · 01/10/2016 20:58

No I wouldn't let people stay in your situation
Dp and I often go out and when we do he always tried to get me (just me ) to stay at other people's houses
It's embarresing and puts people on the spot

DementedUnicorn · 01/10/2016 21:00

Sod's law dictates that at least 3 drinks will be spilled on the sofa by the nights out.

suspiciousofgoldfish · 01/10/2016 21:20

If you are all adults, which I assume you are, then they can make their own way home. It's a party, not a sleepover.

(Wanders off to arrange a sleepover, and wonders why nobody seems to have them anymore. Ghost stories and pillow fights, what's not to love?)

TaterTots · 01/10/2016 21:21

Don't be surprised or annoyed if people don't turn up.

Ragwort · 01/10/2016 21:47

I really don't think it's a good idea to have a party if you've got brand new sofas ..................... why not arrange to meet your friends in town for a drink instead?

mysistersimone · 01/10/2016 22:22

Do you have a venue you could hire for your birthday? Then you and DP and sis can get a taxi home and so can everyone else. My philosophy is you ask a question for an answer, people can ask, you can say no (don't explain yourself)

Original poster

carnation2531 · 02/10/2016 10:42

I might look at getting a venue then but the party is only in 2 weeks time... Hopefully I could get one in time!

OP posts:

TheAnswerIsYes · 02/10/2016 13:38

Whenever we have a party or go to one we and our friends either arrange cabs or someone drives. I don't see the problem.

pasturesgreen · 02/10/2016 13:45

That's odd. You make your way there and back, same as you would for a party in any other location. YANBU.

Pineapplemilkshake · 02/10/2016 13:56

God no, I wouldn't want people staying overnight. I like hosting dinner parties etc but I also like to see my guests going home afterwards

BackforGood · 02/10/2016 14:05

I'd cover your sofas with sheets or some kind of enormous throw for the party.
However, if you don't feel you've got room, then just say so "Sorry - already fully booked, no room" is enough, but if you want to help you could say "Bob and Jeff live near you, you can probably share a taxi so keep the cost down if none of you want to drive"

WankingMonkey · 02/10/2016 14:39

Sod's law dictates that at least 3 drinks will be spilled on the sofa by the nights out.

Indeed. Is it a possibility to leave the sofas in their wrapping until after the party? or at the very least cover them.

We bought a nice expensive new bed a few years back. DSD slept in it the night it came as she was having nightmares. She had not had an accident in 5 years. Obviously that night, she peed the bed. Sods law is an absolute bitch.

WankingMonkey · 02/10/2016 14:41

I wonder if we are weird or have weird friends. Its rare we have a party (have not had one at all since having the kids) but when we did...everyone used to just crash wherever they liked. When I was a teen I was one of the only ones of our group who could afford to rent a house and it was the same back then,. a few went home and the rest just slept wherever.

Maybe its an area thing (we are from the north east) or maybe we are just a little bit chavvy with chavvy friends

WinterLeaf · 02/10/2016 15:52

We used to have parties where everyone stayed over, most were old friends travelling some distance so seemed normal. We provided sheets, duvets, pillows and they slept on the living room floor, in the office on a camp bed or on the sofas. This was in our 20s. We're now mid-30s with a DC and don't have those sort of wild parties!

When we have a party now we offer the office sofabed to one couple (whoever asks first or seems most in need) and everyone else gets air b&b or a hotel. I don't want people sleeping in living room as I feed DS in there at 6am!

Just say you don't have space and offer to help them find somewhere local to stay.

Failing that, could they bring a tent and camp in your garden?

mewkins · 02/10/2016 16:11

No it's not weird if you are in your 20s. I did it various times and people were always sleeping on my sofa at uni if they missed the train etc. If they are all coming from the same place explain that there isn't room and suggest they hire a mini bus/cab which should hopefully be pretty reasonable.

Realhousewivesofshit · 02/10/2016 16:15

No that's wierd. Who stops on sofas past teenage years. You arnt a B&B. Adults get themselves there and back from a party.

Definatly cover your sofas.

Original poster

carnation2531 · 02/10/2016 17:32

Only thing is don't want people to be offended or be talk of the town - can just imagine the comments 'Did you see she'd covered her sofas like we're animals or something?!' I don't want people to think I don't trust them as they are adults after all!

OP posts:

KC225 · 03/10/2016 19:00

If it's 20 quid in a taxi surely a few of them could share. Say you are fully booked but check the prices of local minicabs and offer to put people who live near each other in touch

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