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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To contact this mans employer

29 replies

Danceslikeadrunkcat · 21/09/2016 16:27

I was buying my son a sandwich and drink for after school today as he goes directly to a club. A man jumps the queue which i challenge him about but he gets very personal and abusive about me being over weight and calling me a range of names. He was in a uniform and in a works vehicle. AIBU to contact his employers and let them know how he is representing them by being incredibly abusive to a heavily pregnant but overweight (4 stone over when not pregnant) woman who was just going about her daily buisness?

OP posts:
Giratina · 21/09/2016 16:30

Have a look and see if the company has a Facebook/twitter page and publicly shame him by posting it there. What an arse.

Original poster
Danceslikeadrunkcat · 21/09/2016 16:38

I cant see anything unfortunately otherwise i would be very tempted.

OP posts:
HerFaceIsAMapOfTheWorld · 21/09/2016 17:27

wow that's horrible sorry op

manyathingyouknow · 21/09/2016 17:30

I would. Guy sounds like a dick. People act like that because they think they can get away with it....

Aeroflotgirl · 21/09/2016 17:33

Yes please do, he deserves it!

MrsHathaway · 21/09/2016 17:34

Yes, do it.

He probably won't get in trouble but might be on the receiving end of a general "if you're going to be a twat, don't do so in a works van/shirt" reminder, which would do him no harm at all.

If it's a company any of your friends might be likely to use (eg window cleaner or plumber) then your own FB post briefly recounting your experience could be useful.

Andrewofgg · 21/09/2016 17:34

Have you got the registration number of the car? If you have do it.

Meadows76 · 21/09/2016 17:39

I wouldn't do it on Facebook. The guy is a twat and if you go publicly targeting him you could be opening yourself up to all sorts of repercussions.

Tiggeryoubastard · 21/09/2016 17:43

Not fair shaming the company. Absolutely give them chance to hear your story, see what their response is.

mummymeister · 21/09/2016 17:46

I run my own business employing staff who wear a sort of uniform. I would really want to know if one of them had abused a member of the public. everytime they are out in my company vehicle or uniform they are representing me and my company and therefore I expect certain standards of behaviour. it reflects badly on the company if they don't. so yes, absolutely tell them. I would definitely want to know if it was one of my staff.

PatMullins · 21/09/2016 17:46

I would do it

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 21/09/2016 17:51

Yes fucking report the twat. Trying to be smart. Picking on a women. I guarantee he wouldn't have said that to a man, unless he wanted to be picking his teeth up off the floor.
Flowers

travellinglighter · 21/09/2016 17:52

Do it, I wouldn’t hesitate.

problembottom · 21/09/2016 17:53

I would 100% report this. How dare he abuse you for rightly pointing out he had pushed in? What a twat.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 21/09/2016 18:00

I agree about not shaming the company. It's not theirs nor their other employers faults, but. I think they'd want to know what a twat they have working for them.
I'm sure there are plenty of people with impeccable manners on the dole who could do the job

emmaluvseeyore · 21/09/2016 18:03

I would definitely report it, but be prepared for them not to do anything. Depending on the company, it may have actually been the owner!

I had verbal abuse about my weight shouted at me in the street a few years ago at a time when I was depressed, and I was so annoyed that I hadn't managed to get a photo of the van afterwards because I was so upset. It almost led to me not wanting to go out anymore (luckily I got some help with my mental health after this incident).

Italiangreyhound · 21/09/2016 18:04

Please do not do it on Facebook. If you write to the company confidentially via his company. Too much room for him to find out your details and target you in some way.

I expect others at the shop thought he was a knob.

ExcuseMyEyebrows · 21/09/2016 18:08

Definitely report him.

A guy in a works van tailgated me for miles one evening. I felt so intimidated I memorised his reg number and rang the company the following day. Don't know if anything was said to him but it sure made me feel better.

TaliDiNozzo · 21/09/2016 18:09

Definitely complain. What a horrible man. I wouldn't mention the pregnant bit though - people can get a bit dismissive if you say something like 'he's verbally abused a heavily pregnant woman'. Email the company if you can and give them a chance to respond to you before publicly shaming them.

CatNip2 · 21/09/2016 18:24

I would too, the bigger the company the better, and make a massive thing about how he was representing the company.

Although saying that, I was once massively verbally abused by a digger driver from one of the utility contractors for the gas, and when I complained the office were supportive but when it reached the site manager I never heard anything more.

Called me a fucking slag and tart because I asked him to move his generator blocking my entire drive because I needed to get out. He said I should have approached him and asked nicely. Fuck you mr contractor, how about you tell me before you set up your stall so I Can move my car before I need it.

Saying that though, other contractors from the electricity suppliers were an absolute bunch of stars, knocking on the doors, apologising, giving updates.

Note West Yorkshire contractors for the gas - you are shit
Contractors for West Yorkshire electricity - you are lovely X

yorkshapudding · 21/09/2016 18:52

Contact the company directly.

A man in a works van once made an extremely sexually inappropriate comment towards me (and drove very slowly alongside me continuing to try to engage me in conversation even after I told him to fuck off) while I was walking down the street minding my own business. When he eventually did fuck off I got the reg number and called the company. They were suitably mortified and assured me that it would be investigated. If someone who worked for me was going around abusing members of the public I'd definitely want to know about it, especially if they were doing so whilst in uniform.

Don't do it in on Facebook though, that kind of 'public shaming' is detrimental to the company itself before you've even given them chance to address the problem. It also comes across as attention seeking (and therefore less likely to be credible) to do it on a public forum.

takesnoprisoners · 21/09/2016 18:58

Do contact the company and complain. Public shaming? I dont think so. Not because of morals, just safety concerns. Not worth the risk.

MrsHathaway · 21/09/2016 18:59

Good point about not FBing (1) in case be sees and (2) before giving the company a chance to respond.

The point stands that your bad impression of the company will stay with you for a long time and is likely to be related to your acquaintance when relevant.

ShotsFired · 21/09/2016 19:17

I was on a recent LinkedIn thread where one man was being spectacularly rude and offensive/misogynistic.

He seemed to have forgotten that his name, job title and company were right next to his comments. This is a massive global household name co.

A quick Google later and I was emailing their global head of HR, quoting our sexist friend, and how his behaviour contravened the company's standards and conduct manual.

Not 30 minutes after that, a reply to confirm they were dealing with it as a matter of priority.

I must look him up and see if he is still employed there...

Original poster
Danceslikeadrunkcat · 21/09/2016 20:17

Thank you everyone its been a tricky decision but i think you are all right I will call them in the morning but avoid a public showdown

OP posts:
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