Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To go out and about with new baby

27 replies

Sophia1984 · 20/09/2016 23:26

7 week old baby has his first cold and DH thinks it is my fault for taking him to lots of baby groups etc. I do this partly for breastfeeding support but also for my mental health and have been doing so since baby was about 3 weeks. No one has ever told me I shouldn't, but now that he's ill I'm worried I've been doing the wrong thing. Is it stupid to take him to places (like Surestart Centres) where there are older toddlers or on buses?

OP posts:

shutupandshop · 20/09/2016 23:27

He will get a ton of colds before hus birthday! His immunity is being built. Crack on.

FluffyWuffyFuckYou · 20/09/2016 23:28

Does he think that babies are supposed to stay inside? Till when?

Don'tbe daft! Go where you want to!

Wolfiefan · 20/09/2016 23:29

If your child hasn't got serious underlying health concerns and wasn't hugely premature then carry on.
Kids get colds. Lots of colds. He will be fine but if you stay in you risk actually losing your mind!

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 20/09/2016 23:29

Absolutely you are doing the right thing to get out and about. Babies need to be exposed to germs to help develop their immune systems but also you need adult company. Getting out several times per week was absolutely key to me getting through pnd.

MadamDrag0n · 20/09/2016 23:32

Sadly wee folk catch bugs. It only gets worse when they're at nursery etc. IMO as long as he's had appropriate vaccinations and is otherwise healthy then catching colds is an important part of developing a healthy immune system. Although it is crap when they can't feed or sleep because of the blocked nose. On the other hand, if you start to feel isolated and resentful of a DP who wants you to stay in the house that is far more damaging that another hour or two of lost sleep.

kissingJustForPractice · 20/09/2016 23:33

Agree with shutup, mine got a cold at a few weeks old, caught from her older brother, you can't shut them up from the world! It's good for him in the long run, though breastfeeding a sniffly baby isn't much fun for either of you.

LaurieMarlow · 20/09/2016 23:33

Staying in would have been a sure fire route to PND for me. Getting out and about is good for babies too. DH is acting like an idiot.

julfin · 20/09/2016 23:36

Hey Sophia. You are doing absolutely the right thing. Babies need to build up their immunity. And it's good to get them used to being out and about and socialising. And it's really important for your mental health not to lock yourself away. Keep at it. Hope things are going well for you generally? Those first 6 weeks or so are unimaginably difficult, aren't they? How are you getting on with the breastfeeding? It took me 5-6 weeks to get the hang of it

MLGs · 20/09/2016 23:48

Of course you are doing the right thing! You can't keep babies cooped up indoors, and it would be no good for you either.

All babies get colds.

Also by breastfeeding, you are helping to protect baby from colds, and so going out for the breastfeeding support is actually helping to protect your baby.

Obsidian77 · 20/09/2016 23:50

There are some cultures where babies don't go anywhere for 8 weeks/40 days/3 months (delete as appropriate) but these tend to be ones where the new mum gets lots of hands-on support from female relatives, which is normally not the case here in the UK.
I'm guessing that you're on maternity leave and your DH is working full-time? In which case he has no idea how hard it is to be the sole carer for an infant.
You're taking steps to get help with breastfeeding, which is great, and long term will probably have major health benefits for your child. You're also being pro-active about managing your mental health, which is one of the best indicators for your child's well-being. You're doing the right thing. Catching a cold now will boost his immune system, although it's rotten when they're snuffly.
A lot of the health decisions you make as a parent will be about balancing risks. Trust your judgement. If you were to stay at home the whole time, you and your little one would go batshit crazy. Taking him to baby groups is a great way to give your child some variety (even young babies get bored) and for you to meet friends. He'll be over his cold in a day or two, but the benefits of you getting out and about are much longer-lasting.

WankingMonkey · 20/09/2016 23:53

I took DD out the week after she was born (would have been earlier but she was very very small), and DS at 1 day old. neither ever got ill. Its just as likely he has caught it from a visitor than a stranger...and even so a cold can be good for them building immunity and such. Don't worry

LBOCS2 · 20/09/2016 23:53

What everyone else says. And also, children are germy. So if you have another at some point, the first will snot all over the new baby. It's just going to happen, it's inevitable.

Breastfeeding will help massively too - our 3 day old DD1 was exposed to measles via her stepbrother and was fine. DD2 was exposed to scarlet fever as it went through our household like wildfire (seriously, it's awful and my feet are still peeling) but was also fine. Both of those swerves have been attributed to the antibodies contained in breastmilk by the medical profession. You're actually protecting your baby more than you know, even if they do get a cold.

Original poster

Sophia1984 · 20/09/2016 23:54

Thanks everyone. My instinct tells me I'm right (though my abdominal and pelvic muscles are telling me to slow down) but I started googling and it seems in America they're hyper cautious about taking newborns out. He was one day early and is gaining weight brilliantly- just had his 6 week check and all is perfect.

DH is just being a nervous dad and worrying about baby but don't think he realises how much more damaging PND would be than q snotty nose. He's just come in to say goodnight and make me a camomile tea, so think he's feeling bad.

julfin Thank you :-) We've had a pretty rough breastfeeding journey. Had to stay in birth centre for 3 nights as he wouldn't feed and have never had completely pain-free feeding. Got mastitis about 10 days in, then possible thrush/bacterial infection/vasospasms which is still ongoing! Latch is sorted but still got nipple damage that needs to heal. A lot of our trips out are to the doctors or breastfeeding support group and the others are to make sure I have a positive experience of motherhood that isn't sitting on the sofa in pain! Yep, first 6 weeks really hard but do feel we've turned a corner.

Health visitor is coming tomorrow and DH is in so will try and get her to reassure him.

Thanks all x

OP posts:

badg3r · 21/09/2016 00:00

You are doing absolutely the right thing. It's not like you are going around rubbing dummies on bus handles them force feeding them to DC! You need to get out so that DC is used to it, for your sanity and also because the things you're going to like doctors appointments are essential! How does DH think your DV is going to manage to get their immunisations if they are not allowed to leave the house?

Foggymist · 21/09/2016 00:37

My son was about 3 weeks early and spent 5 days in scbu. When he was 11 days old we spent the day in town shopping, having lunch, delighting in telling people who asked his age that he wasn't even due for another 10 days! It's perfectly fine, normal and healthy to take them out and about, ignore your partner on this one imo. One day "early" is on time anyway, not early really. Estimated due date, not definite due date.

hellsbells99 · 21/09/2016 00:41

I took DD2 to a mother and toddler group when she was 2 days old! The alternative would have been sat at home in tears with 1 year old DD1 to look after as well. Some people did think I was a bit strange but for my mental health I needed some adult company.

GloveBug · 21/09/2016 00:50

You're doing the right thing. Some people don't realise how difficult it is to be stuck at home all day with a baby and how vital it can be too mental health to get out and see other people. He will pick up plenty of bugs but unfortunately that's just a normal part of life. Hiding away in the house won't do either of you any good

ItsABanana · 21/09/2016 00:52

Oh blimey, they're fine out at 7 weeks! If they've got older brothers or sisters, they're bound to catch germs anyway. If not, grandparents can harbour germs too!
Germs are everywhere. I can't recall the exact age I took mine to baby and toddler group, but I know I'd been going from an early age. Think it was nearer one year old though.
However, there were plenty of tiny babies in the baby area when I did start going!
You need to get out and about for your own sanity too. (At least I did.)
Just make sure they're up to date with all their jabs. That's me, though. Ever cautious!

AntiHop · 21/09/2016 00:54

You're absolutely doing the right thing.

Superstar90 · 21/09/2016 01:37

They get about 6-8 colds in the first year no matter what you do. Your DH is being unreasonable and overprotective.
Well done you on the breastfeeding. It gets easier and you'll be so glad you've persisted. You're doing the best for your baby.

dailymaillazyjournos · 21/09/2016 02:40

Another one pitching in to say it's absolutely fine to go to groups etc with a baby this age. If you were to have an older child then it's impossible to stop the older child passing on colds and other bugs to the baby of the family. It's sanity preserving to talk to other adults when you are spending all day with a baby. The minute a child is born they're exposed to viruses and bacteria all around. Unless you seal them into an isolation area, they are coming into contact with this stuff all the time. i hope the HV manages to reassure DH. If he's anxious then it doesn't sound like he is really blaming you, just that he is feeling out of control here (which of course in the case of being exposed to bugs, you are out of control a lot of the time),.

ohtheholidays · 21/09/2016 02:52

Your doing the right thing OP and congratulations

I have 5DC and I used to work with children,getting out and about when you want to and you feel upto it is really good for your DS and for you.

Going to different toddler groups won't be the cause of your DS getting a cold it's just one of those things.

Jenijena · 21/09/2016 04:43

Yes you're doing the right thing. Second children don't get that luxury - DS2 was at the zoo by the time he was two weeks old (and had his first cold st a week old). But do listen to your body ad pelvic floor - absolutely fine to be out and about but your body is still physically recovering (even if most of the time it feels fine) so don't push it too far!

pointythings · 21/09/2016 11:16

Mine both went out from day 1. I am the only driver in the family so no choice. It was fine. Colds happen. Let's hope the HV. can reassure your DH.

SalemSaberhagen · 21/09/2016 11:24

Absolutely fine.

And well done for persevering through your breastfeeding problems! It gets soooo much easier from here on in!

Flip

1 2