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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wwbu not to give the man the table?

32 replies

BocolateChiscuit · 17/09/2016 07:42

At a restaurant recently, all the tables were full so we waited. A lady with her two daughters saw us, indicated to us they were leaving and got up. As we walked over, a man sitting at a table near the one we were going to (one of those high ones with the high stools I always avoid) got up and went to the table. The lady said something to him like 'sorry, these people are sitting here', I did the polite smiling 'sorry' and we sat down. I heard his say something about children and looked over. He then got up to go to order, and said very loudly and pointedly to his two children (approx 7 and 5), 'You two stay there while I order. Don't worry, I don't THINK you will fall off the stools'! They got a different table elsewhere eventually but should we have let him have the table?

OP posts:

isthistoonosy · 17/09/2016 07:44

If your party was all adults with no physical reason you couldn't sit at the high table then I think you should have swapped so his kids could sit and eat more safely.

Gizlotsmum · 17/09/2016 07:45

Did you have children with you? Had you already ordered? So they had a table just preferred the one you were offered?

Hamiltoes · 17/09/2016 07:45

If I didn't have kids with me and there was no reason (disability etc) why I couldn't sit at the table with stools then yes of course i would have given him the table. He was there first anyway.

If i had kids then i'd have probably taken the table, knowing i was BU but not really caring too much. Sometimes thats ok.

PikachuSayBoo · 17/09/2016 07:46

How old are your kids?

Who got to the table first?

If your kids were older, he'd been waiting longer and got to the table first I would probably have let him have it. But 5yo is surely old enough to sit on a tall stool? You just tell them not to fidget/mess about. So he was being a a passive aggresive arse.

Sirzy · 17/09/2016 07:49

If you were all in a position to physically sit on the stools then I would have swapped

Lunar1 · 17/09/2016 07:58

Did you have children with you?

Original poster

BocolateChiscuit · 17/09/2016 08:01

We did have our boys with us but they are older. The table he was sitting at only had 3 stools so we couldn't have sat there ourselves. He was already sitting there with his children and tried to move to the table we were going for. My partner was ordering as the boys and I sat down.

OP posts:

MoreCoffeeNow · 17/09/2016 08:03

If he got there first you should have let him have it. You didn't have any food, so no need to grab a table just yet.

FrancisCrawford · 17/09/2016 08:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/09/2016 08:07

If you could have taken his table with the high stools instead, then yes, I think it would have been nice to have swapped. But since there weren't enough seats for you, then no; he had a table with enough seats (albeit not perfect) so he was being unreasonable to make snide comments.

stopstaring123 · 17/09/2016 08:10

He was unreasonable. You couldn't have sat in his place as not enough seats. He already had a table.

whathavewedonenow99 · 17/09/2016 08:11

He shouldn't have sat at the high stools in the first place if he was worried about his kids falling off. YWNBU

APlaceOnTheCouch · 17/09/2016 08:11

If you could have moved another high stool so there were enough for your party then I would have taken the stools. It's much easier for adults to sit on high stools than DCs.

TheStoic · 17/09/2016 08:13

Sounds like he'd been waiting for a more suitable table. It wasn't the woman's place to save it for you. I'd be annoyed if I was him.

TheSultanofPingu · 17/09/2016 08:13

If he was really concerned about his children sitting on the high stools he should've waited for another table in the first place. He can't have been that worried.
Yanbu.

RealityCheque · 17/09/2016 08:14

He was already seated.

Only on planet number would you be expected to move so he can change tables.

Weird.

LynetteScavo · 17/09/2016 08:17

If no one sat down until they had their food this wouldn't happen.

Why was the man sitting down before he'd even ordered?

CathFromCooberPedy · 17/09/2016 08:18

And what should she have done once they had their food more and no table

You were fine OP. Eating out is a nightmare sometimes!

CathFromCooberPedy · 17/09/2016 08:19

That is not true Lynette. You can't know how long people will take to eat. Should people wait in the corner WITH their food until a table is free? I wouldn't order food to eat in anywhere unless l had a table first.

user1471521456 · 17/09/2016 08:25

If no one sat down until they had their food this wouldn't happen.

Depends what sort of a restaurant it was. If it was a pub type place, you need a table number before you can order.

pussinasda · 17/09/2016 08:28

its not down to the woman to say who gets the table after her, if i was the bloke and i got to the table first i would of sat down and ignored everyone.
the woman with 2 daughters was bu

SoupDragon · 17/09/2016 08:36

Only on planet number would you be expected to move so he can change tables.

She wasn't expected to move as she wasnt sitting at the table.

TBH, I'd been the man I would have been pissed off. Thinking about my DC, one would have been fine on a stool at that age, one would have been guaranteed to fall off when unsupervised and one would have been pot luck. All would have been OK if supervised.

Neither of you had food at that point, the only difference is that he didn't have anyone to order for him whilst he looked after his children. Maybe he'd noticed that the lady was nearly finished with her table and was waiting for her to leave.

LyndaNotLinda · 17/09/2016 08:40

I'm surprised that NT children can't manage stools. My DS has severe dyspraxia and can sit on them.

In any case, it's neither here nor there. Someone had s table and offered it to the OP. If the table the nan was sitting at was unsuitable for his children, he should have waited until a suitable one became available rather than taking s space he didn't want.

ReginaBlitz · 17/09/2016 08:49

He got there first, and he had young kids Ywbu.

pussinasda · 17/09/2016 08:55

the woman had no say in who gets the table after her , she should of just got up and left its not like when your on a bus and you give your seat to a pregnant woman and then you stand up for the rest of your journey.

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