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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want to kill my collegue ... Coping strategy needed

54 replies

UsedtobeFeckless · 12/09/2016 23:37

Due to a work reshuffle I'm landed with the lazy, whingy, passive aggressive nightmare that every other department has sucked and spat out ... Throttling her would be frowned on and I don't want to leave. Help?

OP posts:
AnnaMarlowe · 12/09/2016 23:40

Are you senior to her?

Last time I had this I helped her with lots of CV writing and interview skills and serenely waved her goodbye.

ImissGrannyW · 12/09/2016 23:41

channel everything MN offers and use it... Head tilts. Challenging, assertive behaviour. Tinkly little laughs. Reinforcement. Asking for clarification. Repeating back.

You can do this. MN has your back (as long as you come back and regularly post about it) (with no pesky name changes to confuse everyone!)

Original poster
UsedtobeFeckless · 12/09/2016 23:49

Trouble is everyone who doesn't actually work with her thinks she's lovely because she always has time to chat ( Because she never does any sodding work )

OP posts:
SabineUndine · 12/09/2016 23:50

Well. If I were your colleague I wouldn't want to work with you either if I read that.

I once had a secretary moved to my team and the person she'd previously worked with and fallen out with made a point of coming and telling us how useless she was.

Only, in the event, she wasn't. She was nice, a bit feisty but not in any way a square peg. Give your colleague a chance.

Original poster
UsedtobeFeckless · 12/09/2016 23:53

( Posted too soon ) ... And so I feel like the bad guy because I want to shut her head in a door.

OP posts:
Original poster
UsedtobeFeckless · 12/09/2016 23:58

I've worked with her on and off for years and use to think she wasn't as bad as she was painted but now we're together every day I'm going quietly mad.

OP posts:
GuiltyPleasure · 13/09/2016 00:01

I feel your pain OP. We have one in our department. She came with a terrible reputation,which she's unfortunately lived up to. Luckily for me I'm not directly employed,so her shit stirring can't affect me directly, but suffice to say we've got a calendar counting down the days until she retires next year. It's horrible when one lazy incompetent derails the whole dynamic of a work place

HelloOrchidaceous · 13/09/2016 00:12

Is that you Helen?

Original poster
UsedtobeFeckless · 13/09/2016 00:25

Nope, sorry ... Not Helen ... Smile

OP posts:
HelloOrchidaceous · 13/09/2016 00:38

Ah, phew Wink

clmustard · 13/09/2016 00:41

Oh I am whingy and passive aggressive at the mo. I also appear to be everybody else's shoulder to cry on (which I don't really know how to stop without offending). If it weren't for the fact I'vebeen in the same job years I would think I know you!!!

applesvpears · 13/09/2016 01:24

I don't know why but 'is that you Helen?' made me crack up. Grin

BillSykesDog · 13/09/2016 01:29

You want to 'shut her head in a door'. Wow, workplace bullying is alive and well.

JellyBelli · 13/09/2016 01:31

What did you do? Kidding.
Throttle her and make it look like she got tangled up in the printer.

AnnaMarlowe · 13/09/2016 01:36

Bill I'd assume the OP was using hyperbole for comic effect rather than actually planning GBH.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 13/09/2016 01:39

Me too apples Grin

WhatWouldCoachBombayDo · 13/09/2016 01:44

Slip some arsenic in her coffee, she won't be around for long Wink

But in all seriousness, I'd begin by gently questioning why A, B and C are not done/completed, or set her daily tasks if you are senior. Thing is, it's a finite balance between looking overbearing and getting someone who lacks drive to work.

SmallBee · 13/09/2016 01:59

I had a colleague like this. The only things that got me through it were MN tried and tested techniques. Sending friends who were in the know texts like ' she's fucking done IT again. Fucking fuck face! ' and making a diary of every little cock up she did. Really petty and I never showed it to anyone but it somehow made me feel better to see her incompetence written down.

JellyBelli · 13/09/2016 02:05

When someone is a twat, wanting to shut their head in the door is not bullying, because its not actually doing it. Its a feeling, emotional response, or fantasy if you will.

Bogeyface · 13/09/2016 02:14

Jeez, online rant of things that you would never do or say to a person IRL and you get accused of workplace bullying.....despite it not being in the workplace or actual bullying.

Online arseholery with a side order of no sense of humour however, that is a thing I feel that I should not have to deal with.

LHReturns · 13/09/2016 07:02

BillSykes you sound like great fun.

MothershipG · 13/09/2016 07:11

I have to work with an incompetent and she's my senior Confused

Myself and the rest of the team have to pick up the slack. But her senior seems to think that she's some kind of special snowflake and we are all just being mean.

I used to think she was a nice person, just useless, but since working with her more I have realised that she is actually very self centred and sly.

I am a rock in a stream, just let it all wash past me... Well that's the theory, Grin some days I manage it better than others.

Chottie · 13/09/2016 07:13

OP - you have my huge sympathy. I worked with someone like that. It was hell on earth. Flowers

BillSykesDog · 13/09/2016 07:19

Oh yes these threads always come up on MN and all these 'fun', 'funny' people come out of the woodwork to suggest slapping, or punching or poisoning people because it's oh so hilarious to joke about doing unspeakable violence to someone who actually exists. I find these threads really distasteful every time they happen. And disturbing that a lot of people who post on them are not bringing up kids. They are justified nasty and bullying.

Original poster
UsedtobeFeckless · 13/09/2016 07:24

Bill FFS - I'm not a bully. I'm just having a rant! I'm actually super-nice to her because she really irritates me and I don't want to let rip by accident!. I end up over-compensating and treating her with kid gloves which makes me even more peeved inside ...

OP posts: