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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hen do - who pays what

24 replies

Squiff85 · 12/09/2016 20:52

Planning a hen do.

Looking at apartments with 3 bedrooms (sleeping 2 in each room) and then 2 on the sofa bed.

I suggested that it wasn't fair to make those sleeping on the sofa bed (in the lounge/communal area) to pay the same as those in bedrooms. IMO they don't get half as much privacy and I think they should pay less.

Co-planner has shot me down quite abruptly telling me it would be fine for most and they wouldn't expect to pay less - spoke to me like I'd never been on a hen do before!

Anyway, AIBU? Or is she? Thanks :)

OP posts:

NapQueen · 12/09/2016 20:55

I agree with you. A proper bed each (or sharing a proper bed with those you are close to) or nothing for me.

The event planner going to take the sofa bed then?

MLGs · 12/09/2016 20:56

She is BU to shoot you down. It's a difference of opinion.

I would be happy to pay a bit more to have a bedroom.

NapQueen · 12/09/2016 20:57

Can't she just keep looking for a 4bed?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 12/09/2016 20:58

Not very much difference in price, if you're sharing anyway.

YelloDraw · 12/09/2016 20:59

I wouldn't go if I was expected to sleep on a sofa bed in the living space. No privacy, have to be last to bed and first up as people will be in the living space. Fuck that.

Keep looking for a bigger apt.

NapQueen · 12/09/2016 20:59

At least if you have a bedroom. You can choose to retire earlier or lie in.

Sleeping in the main living room means you are stuck up as late as the latest sleeper yet also awoken by the early risers.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 12/09/2016 20:59

I'd look for a 4 bed. Everyone pays the same and if people want to go to bed while others stay up, then everyone isn't sat in the lounge (on the sofa bed that might need to be used).

Ginkypig · 12/09/2016 20:59

Well I'd be fucked off if I paid the same as everyone else and all I got for it was a shitty sofa.

Unless it was my very best friends who I know very well and know would take their turn the next time.

allsfairinlove · 12/09/2016 21:00

how many nights is it for OP?

I think if it's just one night, I wouldn't mind. But any more than that, in all honesty, is be disgruntled if I was paying the same staying on the sofa bed as those staying in a room.

00100001 · 12/09/2016 21:01

Yy to looking for a bigger place.

And if it can't be found, say how gracious she is for offering to take the sofa

meridithssister · 12/09/2016 21:02

How many nights? Could you swop so everyone gets a night on the sofa bed? If that's not practical I wouldn't pay the same.

fastdaytears · 12/09/2016 21:03

I got the sofa with two friends once at a hen do when the actually bedrooms were SO nice. It was two nights and ridiculously expensive so we were a bit fed up but I'm over it now (clearly...)

Original poster

Squiff85 · 12/09/2016 21:11

Thank you all, I thought I was being difficult. She really shot me down!

It's for 1-2 nights, we aren't sure yet.

I'm going to look for something bigger I think.

Thanks for reassuring me!

OP posts:

StripeyDeckchair · 12/09/2016 21:15

Bloody hell, I only share a room with someone I'm in a relationship with.

Own room, own bathroom - I'm old enough & earn enough for that to be my default position when I go away with friends.

Booking dot com (& similar) is your friend when group booking. It will be the same price as an apartment and everyone gets their own room & privacy.

fabulous01 · 12/09/2016 21:21

Sounds like it will be a fab hen party. Good luck! You are very brave

Aeroflotgirl · 12/09/2016 21:27

You need to look for a 4 bed apartment or house, it's not fair that the 2 on the sofa should pay the same, you need to hammer that home to bridesmaidzilla.

KERALA1 · 12/09/2016 21:41

It's hard for organisers pleasing everyone. Friend and I went on mutual friends hen night. We both had babies so desperate for night in a hotel. In an effort to keep costs down she booked really cheap hotel in town centre. We were kept awake all night by other stags and hens yelling and shouting - literally all night. We so regretted not going against the crowd and spending an extra £50 to get a decent night off.

proudmummyoftwo · 12/09/2016 21:47

Co planner will have no problem paying full and sleeping on the sofa then

MLGs · 12/09/2016 22:06

Posted in a bit of a hurry before.

I agree with others - keep looking for a four bedroom.

JaniceBattersby · 12/09/2016 22:09

Sofa beds are never proper doubles anyway. More like big singles! There's absolutely no way I'd share one with someone else. Not even my husband. In fact, I wouldn't go on the hen if I had to share a sofa bed.

ConvincingLiar · 12/09/2016 22:09

Bed each unless you all live in a commune together.

ItsJustNotRight · 12/09/2016 22:58

I book group holidays fairly frequently & sofa beds are a definite No. Try & find a 4 bed it will be so much better than having 2 people in the living space. Don't forget as well as them sleeping in the living room they will have all their stuff in there as well, it'll be crowded & messy. More space will be more relaxing.

SandyY2K · 12/09/2016 23:00

I'd be pissed off if I paid the same for a sofa bed as the ones who had a bedroom.

Exactly how does she decide who gets what.

converseandjeans · 12/09/2016 23:23

I can't see anyone wanting to share 2 to a sofa bed - you need to look for a 4 bed as everyone else has said. The cost will most likely go up but it is the fairest thing to do.

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