Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

DC going by middle name at school

23 replies

pastainmyhair · 08/09/2016 20:37

My DC started primary school this week. He goes by his middle name but school has registered him as his first name on everything as there was nowhere on the original school application, or the forms we have filled in since he was given a place, to state that he goes by his middle name. Is it ok for us to request that he is known by his middle name at school? Does anyone else's DC go by a name that's not their first name?

OP posts:

MrsBB1982 · 08/09/2016 20:39

When my son started school they asked what name he went by. He goes by a shortened version of his full name. I can't imagine there would be an issue if you contacted them and asked he's referred to by his middle name

kimlo · 08/09/2016 20:40

Its fine. Dd2 goes by a short version of her first name and thats what she is known as at school. The register has her long name on but her peg and all her books has the long version on.

kimlo · 08/09/2016 20:41

Sorry her short version on.

Hecticlifeanddrowning8 · 08/09/2016 20:42

Our school has a preferred name box as well as a legal name box.

SauvignonBlanche · 08/09/2016 20:48

YABU to call him by his middle name, it's a right PITA.

But, as you've already done it, YANBU to ask the school to change everything though I really don't understand why you registered him by a name he is not called.

If you do get the school to change, please don't think this will be the end of it. I've just had a finance agreement turned down as I applied in my name, not the full name on my driving license.

I'm thinking of changing by deed poll, it's so annoying.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 08/09/2016 20:48

He can be 'known by' whatever name he wants, just tell the school. His official name will still be the name they have on his records and the name you'll have to apply by for the next school transfer but his known by name will be on the register etc.

Queenbean · 08/09/2016 20:49

I get called by my middle name

It's really easy. On the first day of any class when the teacher calls your name you say "yes that's me, but I'm know as Gertrude" or whatever

They mark it down and then never ask again

LynetteScavo · 08/09/2016 20:52

I was always known by my middle name..never a problem at school. Has been a bloody pain at other times, though.

YABU to do this to your child in the first place.

SunnyBanker · 08/09/2016 20:56

Ds1 is known as another name. His name is Adam John and he's known as AJ (for instance...actual names are different!). He's in Year 4 now and it's never been an issue.

Hippee · 09/09/2016 00:08

I am known by my middle name - I did try and change to my first name when I was 11, but I couldn't remember when people called me by it, and gave up. Wish I'd persevered and avoided a lifetime of hassle with cheques, exam certificates, plane tickets.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/09/2016 02:06

It should be absolutely no problem. My dnephew goes by the shortened version of his name.
My dd had a class friend whose name was
Let's say Amy but she was known as Poppy. Simply because she liked it.
Everyone has the right to a name and/or a preferred name

DixieWishbone · 09/09/2016 02:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 09/09/2016 02:42

I'm surprised that the school system didn't have a space for preferred name. It might be relatively unusual for a child to go by their middle name, but lots of children use diminutives, and it's better to have that recorded consistently surely?

AndNowItsSeven · 09/09/2016 02:54

If you wanted your child to be known as their middle name, why didn't you call them by their middle name?

NantucketNightbird · 09/09/2016 08:13

My youngest goes by a name which is not connected to his first or middle names. The school are fine with it, it's a name which was a nickname when he was born but just stuck.

gabsdot · 09/09/2016 08:24

2 of my siblings are known by their middle names and it has caused no end of problems all their lives.
Now one of my other siblings had done the same to their kid... I digress
You'll have to tell the school what name your child goes by and your child to correct people when they get it wrong.

CaptainCrunch · 09/09/2016 08:33

I've always wondered why people do this, why not give the name you want them to be known as?

When I was growing up in the early 70s it seemed to be quite an affected middle class thing, I always thought it was pointless and confusing.

reallyanotherone · 09/09/2016 08:39

always wondered why people do this, why not give the name you want them to be known as?

Isn't it in families where the boys are given their dad's name? So dad is John Thomas, son is John William Thomas, known as William, grandson is John David Thomas, known as Dave. Rather than everyone being John...

Alternative is the US version of John Thomas Senior, John Thomas Junior (often known as junior)... Etc.

honeylulu · 09/09/2016 08:58

One of our friends is known by middle name because his parents called him, e.g. Robert Mark, intending him to be known as Robert. But after a month or so decided he just "looked more like a Mark".

DixieWishbone · 09/09/2016 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndNowItsSeven · 09/09/2016 12:08

Really, surely it would make more sense for John to be the middle name.

LagunaBubbles · 09/09/2016 12:11

If you like his middle name so much why didnt you just call him that in the first place?

Welshmaenad · 09/09/2016 12:24

DP goes by his middle name. But for official functions, healthcare, work etc he uses his first name. Then some work people call him by the diminutive of his first name; then others still call him by the Welsh diminutive of his first name, which is different again. Then a lot of people he's known a long time call him by his surname.

It gets to the stage when people ring for him and I don't even know if they're looking for DP or have the wrong number . Don't do it people. Just call your kids the name you want them known by!!

Flip